Who Am I? Riddle time!

[returnofahipster]

Riddle 1-

I validate my existence through acquisition of material objects. I proclaim to have such an active and productive life yet I play ever quest. I lift my voice like a trumpet and show everyone my triumphs in life while belittling others achievements. I may or may not be an extension of another delusional forums posters bizarre and twisted persona. I am acknowledged generally as a woman yet I don't have the grace or charm to be classified as anything other then a female. I propagate the illusion that I am above simplicity and shenanigans but am a ring leader of much of it on these forums.

Answer - ???

Riddle 2 -

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. .."
I am the bizarre and twisted persona spoken of in riddle one.

Answer - ???