Lune Seeks Women for His Sex Manor

[Lune]

So I've got a few extra rooms in the house I inherited from my parents.

I know times can be hard. Gotta pay rent n' shit. It's much easier when money isn't so much of an issue. I mean, how the fuck do you think I used to be in TMO and sock dragons every day of every week? Yea.

I run a pretty chill domain. Got all different kinds of opiates to use in moderation, as I do. Weed, etc. Do what you like, come and go as you like, fuck whoever you like, but here's the deal: Live in my house and pay me a duty of no less than one intercourse or blowjob session a month.

No uggoes or fatties. To find our whether your weight is acceptable, subtract your age in years from 200 and then multiply that by .73: So if you're 24 years old: (200-24) x .73 = 128.48.... you may weigh a maximum of 128 pounds. You must be over 5'4''. You must be 18 or older and disease free. Disabilities are okay if you're willing to get kinky with it. If you have red or blonde hair you can add 10 to your weight limit.

Racial weight limit modifiers (use this factor instead of .73)
White: -
Asian / Pacific Islander: -
Hispanic: .69
Black: .66
Native American: .71

As a TMO alumni, I offer legacy blowjob frequency discounts to current and former TMO members. If this offends you, you need to stop thinking in moral absolutes. From my perspective, the Jedi are evil. You will refer to me as 'My lord', 'Lord', 'Lune', or by any of my approved aliases. I have cats.

The Am I Thin Enough to Fuck?™ equation is intellectual property of Lune. All rights reserved. I'm quite proud of it. I was actually able to think "Okay, I need an equation that scales such that they must be thinner the older they are, with a reasonable distribution at every age until like 50". And I came up with that. Isn't that fucking smart?

Please submit your applications for my review in this thread, including pictures, references from prior sexual partners, and a personal statement about why you think I might enjoy your vag. I will grade you from a 10 point rubric with only the most competitive applicants being selected.