Lune Seeks Women for His Sex Manor
 

So I've got a few extra rooms in the house I inherited from my parents.

I know times can be hard. Gotta pay rent n' shit. It's much easier when money isn't so much of an issue. I mean, how the fuck do you think I used to be in TMO and sock dragons every day of every week? Yea.

I run a pretty chill domain. Got all different kinds of opiates to use in moderation, as I do. Weed, etc. Do what you like, come and go as you like, fuck whoever you like, but here's the deal: Live in my house and pay me a duty of no less than one intercourse or blowjob session a month.

No uggoes or fatties. To find our whether your weight is acceptable, subtract your age in years from 200 and then multiply that by .73: So if you're 24 years old: (200-24) x .73 = 128.48.... you may weigh a maximum of 128 pounds. You must be over 5'4''. You must be 18 or older and disease free. Disabilities are okay if you're willing to get kinky with it. If you have red or blonde hair you can add 10 to your weight limit.

Racial weight limit modifiers (use this factor instead of .73)
White: -
Asian / Pacific Islander: -
Hispanic: .69
Black: .66
Native American: .71

As a TMO alumni, I offer legacy blowjob frequency discounts to current and former TMO members. If this offends you, you need to stop thinking in moral absolutes. From my perspective, the Jedi are evil. You will refer to me as 'My lord', 'Lord', 'Lune', or by any of my approved aliases. I have cats.

The Am I Thin Enough to Fuck?™ equation is intellectual property of Lune. All rights reserved. I'm quite proud of it. I was actually able to think "Okay, I need an equation that scales such that they must be thinner the older they are, with a reasonable distribution at every age until like 50". And I came up with that. Isn't that fucking smart?

Please submit your applications for my review in this thread, including pictures, references from prior sexual partners, and a personal statement about why you think I might enjoy your vag. I will grade you from a 10 point rubric with only the most competitive applicants being selected.

10/10

did not read

no

I know you said women only, but as a former member of the original TMO I would like to use my influence to rent a room, cheaply, in your sex palace as well as use of female tenants to satisfy any sexual perversions I may posses. I'm assuming you live in either CA or NY. If it's CA, then perhaps we could come to an arrangement.

0/10 please see me in my office when the thread is over to discuss everything that is wrong with your application

All current and former TMO nobility are welcome to delight in the carnal treasures of my pussy fief. We are all classy motherfuckers.

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions...

Have sex with soulless misogynistic self-entitled trust fund man-child that's clearly house-bound because of overwhelming fatness?...... OR....... Gouge out my own eyeballs with an Ebola-infected spoon?

Wow, that was totally the fastest decision I've ever made. Brb, gotta go find me that spoon.

no, i wont see u ever anywhere anytime

[x] Soulless - Don't disagree with you here. I like that you respect my religious beliefs.
[ ] Misogynistic - Nope, just sex-positive.
[ ] Self-Entitled - I don't have a single pixel I didn't earn with hard work and diligence.
[x] Trust Fund
[x] Man-Child
[ ] Overwhelmingly Fat - I'm 6'4 185 and run 4 miles in 28 minutes every evening around sunset. I got a lot of things wrong with me, weight isn't one of em.

3/6, pretty good.

Sidelle if you're worried about meeting the weight limit, it's okay, you don't need to use the native american equation, you're white enough. I suggest you work on your application though. I mean, I'm really into that verbally abusive dom shit. You make me feel like a bitch, and I like that. Just gotta throw in some references / recent pics and maybe elaborate on how you intend to drop the weight. Also frankly your politics are repulsive.