For the past month I've noticed a remarkable re-occurrence. Every night that i go outside there's been a rather hooge butt nugget leaning to the side at the end of my driveway, like Burt Reynolds playing coy. After dragging the hose out to send it packing down the gutter, i always think " there's no way ill ever get to do that again". Guess what i JUST hosed down my driveway? A Turd. Didn't even send it all the way home in case pics are requested. Before i started hosing down these chocolate burrito's, i had to play midnight minesweeper, But the lazy man works the hardest as i eventually hit jackpot and slipped on one. Ive been changing my daily routine to try and catch my secret Santa in the act. No dice. I've considered many solutions such as pooping on all my neighbors driveways as a kinda spread fire effect, and with my forces spread thin as such... I'm afraid it wouldn't have the fecal impact that I'm looking for. In any case I just can't keep up that pace so I'm forced to reformulate my plan.
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-Will update my hunt to find the magical driveway gnome as it unfolds.