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#1
08-15-2014, 04:43 PM
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A Halfling's Odyssey
Dedicated to Whitebird
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] ~~1~~ Sing to me, O Muse the story of he Who from the Vale did by winding roads go Across seas and oceans unimagined Fought foes of whom no whispers reached his home. Gods, a hobbit so stout and brawn of arm The Vale is enough for most of that race Whyfor did he leave the gold Paradise? To suffer! To Fear! O', Forgotten Pawn! Filbus had adventures plenty perilous Howling Stones – the Ruins of Sebilis Dragons had tasted the bite of his blade The Clan Borf cowed at sight of his shadow | ||
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Last edited by captnamazing; 08-16-2014 at 01:46 PM..
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#2
08-15-2014, 04:43 PM
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Filbus was to wed the great Grumphilda
She of such great beauty and musculature A beard like a hammer! An ass like an ox! They had made the necessary courtship Filbus had sent the thousand head of goblin And she had returned forty dozen ogre tongues All shipped via Nomsanto Packing Inc. Precision & perfection – it's Delivered. Our hero, Filbus, the Blade of the Vale Conqueror of Runnyeye Citadel Slayer of the Efreeti Lord Djarn et. al, made his way accordingly. He ran from the Vale through Kithicor And over the glades of the West Commonlands It was nighttime by the time he saw the horrors of the Tunnel. But what! Filbus exclaimed to himself We have only just killed the Avatar of Thule! What beast now ravages these pleasant plains? And he drew close to the scene... [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] Filbus felt the sweats hit him hard He uncorked a few dozen bottles of mead to take off the bite, so to speak.. There was something terribly familiar at play. He sorted through the pulped corpses Could smell the shit of death roasted in their pants Each waft tightened around his spine The hand of Fear was at work. Bristlebane, O Bristlebane, my liege! Answer me, Answer me!! What is this?? But Bristlebane was silent. Filbus left to sweat. The halfling had fallen too far to the ways of fear. | ||
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#3
08-15-2014, 04:45 PM
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[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
His world had become ruled by the God of Terror Why was the Cazic present so... ever present? Filbus found a halfling warrior of the 60th season hiding inside an ogre... too suspicious! What manner of hobbit are you, Phoom! Filbus demanded what you mean lol? Phoom replied At this provocation, Filbus threw down his gauntlet. I shall make you fear the Bristlebane. Draw your sword! Do you have bufs? Phoom asked Filbus checked his buff bar – partially raid buffed No, said the wiley Filbus. And then he cut Phoom down. In a flash, Phoom was reduced to a pile of meat in a metal skin. Are you pleased now, Bristlebane? Filbus shrieked The spittle and blood from his mouth clung inside his helm It dripped down his neck and onto his armor he looked like a dog with a bib of blood. And Muse, Did he not then venture to EFP? Where at the docks he cut down a fisher woman With a single stroke of his blade? Did take the name of his god in spite, then? [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] | ||
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#4
08-15-2014, 04:49 PM
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[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
For days, Filbus waited for the ship to arrive... His third-cousin, Biteaucul, came to pray on his behalf This cleric of Bristlebane, with whom our hero had struck fear into the heart of Neriak [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] They burned the bodies of any they could get their hands on Railing at the heavens -- BRISTLEBANE! Filbus screamed. He frothed at the mouth YOU WILL ANSWER ME WHEN I CALL YOU!! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] And Lo! Was there not a ship 'pon the horizon? A distant speck like hope Filbus was not forgotten? Indeed, perhaps Bristlebane played a prank It was in his nature, was it not? Upon the ship the halflings made their way into the underbelly, in search of food and booze "Look!" Filbus exclaimed merrily, "the ship's bar!" Alas... it was not a bar, but a LIBRARY | ||
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#6
08-15-2014, 05:09 PM
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So what are you plans now that you have won the internet ?
Awesome man. | ||
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#8
08-15-2014, 10:30 PM
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[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
~~2~~ Tell me, O Muse of the starlit heavens Of that hero's journey through salt and sea Did he perish in the dark depths and die? Or did he make it to his one True Love? Filbus awoke on the edge of a stone That rose black and stark from the water's face His face was white from a mask of salt And his back and ribs were bruised to blue What had happened? The last thing he remembered... Trying to drink books... Bristlebane laughing The Fear gripping his chest, clawing his eyes. And then blackness. Blackness beyond blackness! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] The halfling hero carefully studied the desolate landscape – the barren rocks! But yea, was there not a troll? And thus hope? Perhaps he was not far from a port island Thus, he struck out across the rocky strait Keeping his eyes on his unlikely savior For, had Filbus not slain time aplenty The warted troll, the scourge of Innothule? | ||
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#9
08-15-2014, 10:31 PM
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[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Upon seeing the halfling, the Troll cried “Killer of my cousin Groi, you die NOW! Attack, attack, you weeping angels!” Thunder smote the air – the sky turned to black A pair of beautiful beings came close half women, half fish ; shrieking like banshees They joined the troll and attacked Filbus Though weak, though hungry and tired, though no Respite or aid for leagues and leagues to go Filbus cut down the two alluring sirens In an instant. They floated ghostly, dead. Nerbilik cried in anguish as his friends died “O' you Horrid Fiend!” came the words from the warted lips of Bertoxxulous. “Did I not Give my life to your pursuit? Have I not Marooned myself on this ocean rock Have I not sold my soul to Innoruuk In exchange for the storm that would destroy your ship? And kill your halfling friend?” Nerbilik flung his Fishing Spear to the ground “Kill me now, for I will not rest until you die,” The troll concluded. Filbus obliged. He wiped his swords dry on the troll's shirt. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] | ||
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#10
08-15-2014, 10:33 PM
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For a while, Filbus stayed on the Siren's rock
He drank of their fish liquors – O Delight! and tasted of their fish flesh – so Salty! But it came to pass that he grew bored [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] He struck out from the rocky grotto encased in a suit of full plate mail Each stroke made a wave the size of a hill Each kick deafened the fish below I have always been friend to Prexus Filbus imagined to himself, happily forgetting When he razed the remnant of the Kedge and cut apart the chest of Phinigel The halfling, feeling forgotten by his god Turned to that most enigmatic deity Prexus – he who shed his tears upon Norrath Forming the lakes and salt lakes of the world Filbus was thrown into a maelstrom The size of which mere imaginings cannot conceive He filled his lungs with a hearty draught Before the plunge, and held! | ||
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