Misattributed or straight up invented quotations

[OriginalContentGuy]

It's easy. Post quotes in this thread that are lies or were never spoken/written by the quoted author or speaker. OP's intention is lulz.

Originally Posted by Abraham Lincoln

Don't try to be a great man, just be a man. Freak nasty wanna see if y'all do this right.

[OriginalContentGuy]

Suggested thread etiquette is don't be a dick. I feel making this thread is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys and so lest it be omitted: The rules of the forums supercede this thread but excepting intervention by staff disputes should be handled gracefully and by the parties themselves in shitpost thunderdome

[OriginalContentGuy]

"You should shut your mouth before somebody fucks it. But why start now? Open wide you filthy bitch."

Marcel Marceau (1923-2007) to your great grandmother

[Reiwa]

Originally Posted by Voltaire

I am abandoned by God and man! I shall go to hell! O Jesus Christ!

[Reiwa]

Originally Posted by Charles Darwin

I was a young man with unformed ideas. I threw out queries, suggestions, wondering all the time over everything, and to my astonishment, the ideas took like wildfire. People made a religion of them.

[Eagish]

I drank what?
- Socrates

[sammoHung]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

[Jimjam]

Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet. — Abraham Lincoln

[BradZax]

Originally Posted by OriginalContentGuy [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Masterbated or straight up invented quotations

[OriginalContentGuy]

Originally Posted by Harland "Colonel" Sanders (1890-1980) cajoling a chicken

You will find ma'am that which comes first will be myself.