10kpp Giveaway, all welcome to participate

[Tarathiel]

Originally Posted by BlewHedgehog [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I doubt this will elicit tons of laughs, but this is one of my favorite times of EQ past.

I was a human... paladin maybe... a newbie (as usual, I think levels 1-20 were my favorite. Never made it to any high-end content) wandering around outside of Blackburrow and whooping on some gnolls, when my sister comes over along with her son who must have been 4 at the time. He's always been fascinated by watching me play games, but was a really shy kid and never wanted to play himself. No biggie, he seemed to get enough enjoyment out of just watching. Whatever.

The problem arises because my sister was a tremendously overbearing parent. She takes ESRB at their word and never fudges on movie ratings or anything like that, so we have to keep it strictly non-violent (or at least something cartoony like Super Mario Bros). However, as I'm sure you've all experienced, I was addicted and wasn't about to camp out. As a good friend of mine once said, "It's not like you can level up at the movies or anything." The gnoll slaying continued as my nephew quietly spectates for a good while.

I'm not sure if it was the innocent justice often found in children or just naivete, but eventually the obvious questions start to come out.

"What are those? Are they bad guys?"

I ponder this for a second. "Yeah," I say. "Well, no. They're trying to steal our land, I think. Cuz we took it from them first. They're like Indians, I guess."

"So you have to kill them?"

My own character is being challenged here, as for a moment or two I'm actually considering the consequences of my hostility toward these animals. I imagine Mrs. Darkpaw raising her children alone whilst fielding an incessant query of phone calls notifying her that her husband has been killed... again.

Soon enough I come back to my senses, though to be entirely honest I don't disagree with his mother's concern. This kid's at a malleable stage right now and doesn't necessarily need to think that his uncle says killing natives is not only okay, but a pleasant way to spend your weeknights. Basically, I'm glad that Squirtle only faints or gets knocked out and so on. Death is a heavy topic for a youngster to have to deal with. I decide to take inspiration from his Pokemon interest.

"Well, see, I'm not killing them. I'm like... the sandman or something. I have to go around putting these guys to sleep with my, um... sleep stick!" Not terribly clever, sure. Except for the fact that they're dogs and I'm putting them to sleep. See? It's a half truth. I play on. "Hey there, puppy! Night night!" *whack*

He seemed to have bought it, to which I must say 4 year-olds are idiots. We wasted the next 3 hours scavenging the Hills for harmless animals to bring sweet dreams to and all the while, he was cheering me on, yelling, "Go to sleep!" at every mob I encountered. Bonding. Man, what a good time.

Hahah I have a 4 y/o so I totally know where you are coming from, I have a similiar story but it involves medal of honor and calling his friends at school nazi's lol

[Koa Bosk]

I don't know if this is funny, and I'm sure it has happened to other people.

I play a Elf Ranger, so a friend of mine took me to Sol A to find a heart from one of the Goblin inferno for a quest. Well it took a few hours, but we finally got one. I was so excited that I was this much closer to completing the quest, and congratulating myself for not dying at all this entire time that when leaving, I guess I was not paying attention to my footing and fell into the lava just a few feet from the exit.

What made it even more embarrassing was that just a second before I fell, my friend had warned me to be careful. Not to mention my girlfriend was sitting next to me, witnessed the whole thing, laughing at my blunder.

[toddfx]

I suppose I'll go ahead and share mine. I was 13 years old playing EQ on live. I was goofing off in Halas when I stumbled upon a barbarian couple sitting together in some out of the way hut. I decided to cause a little trouble and emote something silly. I targeted the lady barbarian and emoted ":kisses %t long and hard."

She was not happy, and proceeded to call me out on cyber rape and said I'd be hearing from her lawyer! Believe it or not, my stupid 13 year old self believed her and was so scared I logged immediately and did not log back in for several days. Needless to say, that was the end of my dirty emote fun...

[rabienrose90]

Hmmm, one of my favorite times in everquest was when my father and I wanted to go out and fish but because of the weather, we couldn't. So Instead we ended up on EQ in Kaladim and we decided to have a fishing contest lol

We took off all our gear and emptied our bags so it would be fair, we only had a fishing pole, a few stacks of beer and a few stacks of bait.

I forget where it was but I want to say by some Iron mill and there was a small dock with a little pond. We ended up falling off that little dock a good twenty times from being so drunk(in game, I was like 12 or so at the time)

It was a while until we realized we were eating the fish we were catching lol We were laughing so hard at how drunk we were in game, and that the random message of "you spill your beer" lol it was really fun = )

He did end up winning though = / I might have to have a rematch with him soon lol

[mala]

really not trying to hate here... but that short novel matalus wrote is completely devoid of anything even relatively funny

[Excellio]

Here's my other entry:

So, one day I went to log into P99, and suddenly, more than 300 players were suspended for hacking and using prohibited 3rd party software. I must say that in all of my years of playing EverQuest, I had never encountered such a phenomenon. It seemed so unlikely that so many people on one server would all choose to do stuff that was explicitly against the rules, all simultaneously. I also wondered what they did with all that plat that got removed... I figured it was probably on a mob somewhere, like a fire beetle or something, and some newb is gonna kill that fire beetle because he needs a fire beetle eye, and then he won't be able to walk because he'll be all crazy encumbered. And there probably won't even be a fire beetle eye on that particular fire beetle corpse.

[Teensy Weensy]

FRAT!

[Cujoy]

My newb story, I started a Rogue on VZ when it first came live, I think it was June or something. I was a halfelf rogue in Kelethin and I thought I knew all there was to know about role playing games because I beat FF7 with no walkthrough and both the optional bosses (Emerald and Ruby weapons). I got to level 5 killing trash at newb lift and then I stopped leveling, I killed and killed and killed and I couldn't level, I was pissed. I knew nothing about the con system so I didn't know that killing greens and greys was basically getting me nowhere. I played for about 6 weeks and got so frustrated at being level 5 I quit. I deleted that damn rogue and uninstalled EQ.
It was some time in 2000 that I finally started playing again, Kunark had just been released. I decided to make a ranger this time. A ranger with charisma so I could make better deals with the merchants... This time I read about the game a little and figured out I need to con mobs to make sure I get exp. I leveled through Gfay, to BB, and finally off to the Commonlands and I decide to swim to Freeport. I didn't know you couldn't swim across zone lines, so I swam and swam and swam, finally I started tracking the boat, thinking maybe I just wasn't taking the right path (my sense heading was shit at the time). I caught up with the boat and got hung up on the geometry of it somehow, my character zoned with the boat. So at this point I think I can still swim zone lines, I eventually make it to Freeport and decide since I'm on a roll I'll swim to the new land of Kunark. So I turn around from Freeport, head back to tracking the boat and get restuck on the boat zone and keep going, I did this all the way to OOT. Finally I get sick of swimming about 4 hours later and caught the boat to TD. I got stuck on this boat too, no idea how I kept managing it. After a long journey I decided to check out that passage in FV at the bottom of one of the docks, I can't even remember where it was but I ended up drowning in it and went all the way back Kelethin.

My only other newb story is that when I started that ranger I joined a roleplaying guild. But I didn't know they were roleplaying other than they said weird old English shit like ye and thee. I basically knew nothing of guilds, they made me the "Baroness of West Commonlands", I went to WC, our guild policy was to help people in 'your' land, so I ran around helping people who were having problems in WC telling them I was the Baroness of WC. Everyone thought I was crazy because they asked if I was RPing and I said no, I'm the actual baroness. I thought I had real power... it's kind of sad now that I think about it, especially since this went on for almost a week.

[Hagglebaron]

Originally Posted by Cujoy

My newb story, I started a Rogue on VZ when it first came live, I think it was June or something. I was a halfelf rogue in Kelethin and I thought I knew all there was to know about role playing games because I beat FF7 with no walkthrough and both the optional bosses (Emerald and Ruby weapons). I got to level 5 killing trash at newb lift and then I stopped leveling, I killed and killed and killed and I couldn't level, I was pissed. I knew nothing about the con system so I didn't know that killing greens and greys was basically getting me nowhere. I played for about 6 weeks and got so frustrated at being level 5 I quit. I deleted that damn rogue and uninstalled EQ.
It was some time in 2000 that I finally started playing again, Kunark had just been released. I decided to make a ranger this time. A ranger with charisma so I could make better deals with the merchants... This time I read about the game a little and figured out I need to con mobs to make sure I get exp. I leveled through Gfay, to BB, and finally off to the Commonlands and I decide to swim to Freeport. I didn't know you couldn't swim across zone lines, so I swam and swam and swam, finally I started tracking the boat, thinking maybe I just wasn't taking the right path (my sense heading was shit at the time). I caught up with the boat and got hung up on the geometry of it somehow, my character zoned with the boat. So at this point I think I can still swim zone lines, I eventually make it to Freeport and decide since I'm on a roll I'll swim to the new land of Kunark. So I turn around from Freeport, head back to tracking the boat and get restuck on the boat zone and keep going, I did this all the way to OOT. Finally I get sick of swimming about 4 hours later and caught the boat to TD. I got stuck on this boat too, no idea how I kept managing it. After a long journey I decided to check out that passage in FV at the bottom of one of the docks, I can't even remember where it was but I ended up drowning in it and went all the way back Kelethin.

My only other newb story is that when I started that ranger I joined a roleplaying guild. But I didn't know they were roleplaying other than they said weird old English shit like ye and thee. I basically knew nothing of guilds, they made me the "Baroness of West Commonlands", I went to WC, our guild policy was to help people in 'your' land, so I ran around helping people who were having problems in WC telling them I was the Baroness of WC. Everyone thought I was crazy because they asked if I was RPing and I said no, I'm the actual baroness. I thought I had real power... it's kind of sad now that I think about it, especially since this went on for almost a week.

LOL

Close contender for the prize right here

[joppykid]

Although I don't condone the actions of my friend in this story, its pretty funny.

My friend who was a Barbarian Warrior would go around looking for corpses and sending tells to people saying he would loot and bring their gear to them ( this was when you could loot others with /consent. So basically he would loot their corpses and take their gear and was notorious on the server. He had a full set of crafted at lvl 10. He also had an inappropriate name at one point that was changed by the GMs to Roseblossom lol