Rant: Why create bad game design on purpose?

[Elfminster]

Here is a message from a gifted high school student and fellow Norrathian called Tommy who is studying to be a life saving doctor. He runs an animal shelter for abandoned kittens in his spare time. He's still recovering from his near fatal ordeal. This is what he recently wrote while learning to cure cancer (he gave me permission to show you this letter which he wrote to his dead grandfather who was a medal of honor WW2 veteran).

Hello grandpa, it's me again, your grandson Tommy.

Something strange happened to me recently which completely changed my life and I desperatley need to share it with somebody and I've decided to share it with you my hero.

It all started when I first heard the news; a new EQ server.

"Woot!" I shouted because I was so thrilled at the wonderful news.

I was so looking forward to the server launch as I patiently waited in line with a good supply of nacho cheese doritos and coca-cola at the ready. I had my heart set on getting pre-nerf loot because I've never had the chance before what with all the medical studies and working 3 jobs to pay off sudent loans.

As you know, Dad fucked off just like you did before I got to meet him properly so he's not around to help out with things. The last I heard, he was snorting pure cocaine off a young hooker's arse deep in the Columbian jungle after doing hard time for countefeiting amateur porno videos. I heard the locals don't debate the shape of the hooker's arse because they've all seen it for themselves personally.

It's round, just in case you're wondering, at least it is according to a friend of a friend who told me he once saw it in the flesh during one exceptionally hot summer when he was down there "taking seismic activity readings". He also spoke of armed locals mysteriously disappearing never to be seen again. NASA claims it's flat though so your guess is as good as mine but those south american girls are usually built for fun so i'm going with round like a half football and double extra jiggly.

Mama is sick now so it's all up to me to support her, my 5 sisters, 30 abandoned kittens and my pet possum Henry who I rescued from a hunter's trap when I was building homes for the homeless.

So I was sitting in class one day dreaming of turning my wood elf druid into a dark elf druid and then giving free ports to the less fortunate like I usually do. It was then that all hell broke lose. I heard loud bangs and school girls screaming in terror and saw bodies going splat.

The last thing I remember was seeing a Ranbo-esque figure running towards me with a bowie knife yelling "die non-gentile scum die!".

Then I woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by medical personnel who told me that my best friends had all been shot dead and that I had lost a kidney after being stabbed 6 times by an atheist who hated non-gentiles which confused me because I'm acually non-religious but apparently the atheist terrorist had targetted the wrong school by mistake which explains the confusion.

After all the commotion had died down and I was alone with the doctor I wasn't brave enough to ask him the question I really wanted to ask him, it would take me a few more days to pluck up the courage to ask that question.

I'll never forget the day I did...

It was a bright sunny day. The sky was deep blue. The clouds were white and puffy. There was a nice cool breeze. Rick Astley was playing on the radio. The birds were chirping. Everybody was living their best life.

I peered out of the door into the busy hallway to see if I could catch a pre-emptive glimpse of the doctor arriving. While waiting I was lucky enough to spot a sexy nurse wearing black fishnet stockings bending over to pick up an envelope off the hallway floor. It turned me on greatly so I had a quick danger wank.

Shortly afterwards the doctor walked in with a skip in his step and a smile on his face.

"Good mornig, hero" he said to me, in a cheerful voice, as he turned his back to me to check a graph.

I took a deep breath and whispered to myself, "You can do this! Be brave!"

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and with a trembling voice I said,

"Doc...wha...what about the guises? Are..they...still fucking dropping bro?"

I gripped my zimmer frame tightly with my other hand to steady myself as I waited for the answer with a longing stare.

The doctor slowly turned around with a blank look on his face.

"You need to rest now..." he replied, his voice quivering, as he tried to lead me to the bed by my arm.

"I NEED TO KNOW DAMN YOU!" I yelled, pulling my arm away and making him jump.

He walked to the window and stared out of it into the distance.

I knew then it was bad news.

After an awkward 30 minutes of total silence he turned to me and replied,

"They stopped dropping while your were on life support in that coma. I'm so sorry, son."

"How...how...many did you loot doc?" I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Does it re..." he replied, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"HOW MANY DOC?" I yelled, rudely interrupting him mid sentence, making him jump again.

"FOURTEEN" he screamed, making me jump.

I watched as he ran into the hallway and down the corridor.

My head started spinning.

It felt like I was being shot all over again.

I fell over banging my head on the hard granite floor.

After I woke up from the second coma the doctor showed me my medical bill and I passed out again.

When I finally got home I logged onto the server only to discover everybody was a dark elf except me. My dream in tatters I ran down a dark Freeport alley and logged off in shame and then cried myself to sleep in the bath tub listening to The Smiths.

I haven't been back online since.

It's still painful when I cry because of all the corrective surgery.

I still remember you telling me about the good old days grandpa when there was enough guises for everybody. Sometimes, I wish I had a time machine.

Tomorrow I'm going to take a medical course on curng blindness in children and then I have to pickup 15 abandoned puppies.

Wish me luck! :-)

Your grandson,

Tommy the Guiseless
American high school student, cancer curer in the making, huge boob nerd, ass fanatic

PS. Thanks for getting gunned down on that beach to protect our freedoms /salute