Originally Posted by Zelbor
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The Cool and Successful Guy Who Plays EverQuest Only 5 Hours A Day sits up in his expensive desk chair (purchased with all the money he earns at his job which he definitely has and which is very important and which pays very well because only smart, productive people can do jobs like his). His posture is perfect, thanks to the mighty, chiseled abs and back muscles he developed by going to the gym instead of Camping Pixels. “A Rubicite Breastplate?” he thinks to himself, “Meh. I suppose if I weren’t so busy making money and having sex with all these beautiful women, I could get one of those. But I don’t, because of all the money-making and sex-having that occupy my time each day.” He smiles, showing his perfect, pearly white teeth, kept in pristine condition as a result of the time he is able to spend brushing them regularly (unlike Losers Who Camp For Pixels, who could not possibly also practice basic hygiene and self-care). “J’aime manger du fromage,” he mutters. “Oh, sorry, that’s just a little French I taught myself while you were busy camping pixels. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” He chuckles. He would like to spend longer posting on an Internet forum about the many differences between his own, blessed existence and the cursed, tragic so-called ‘lives’ of people who have slightly nicer pixels in a 20-year-old videogame, but he’s called away by the dozen or so supermodels who live with him in his beautiful mansion, pleading for him to pleasure them, as he does each night after he gets home from his very important job and also the gym and also after he finishes playing EverQuest for only about 3 or 4 hours or maybe 5 but definitely not more because that would make him a loser. As he steps away from the computer (which is better and more expensive than yours, by the way) to join his private harem for yet another night of debauchery, he grabs his saxophone, figuring he’ll have time to practice it while the supermodels get warmed up. The sounds of the solo from Careless Whisper, played perfectly, soon fill the halls of his large and tastefully decorated home…
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12-24-2019, 02:37 AM
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