conversation with a "friend" i kicked out of my house.

[PlatLordlolz]

Originally Posted by Sorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Sounds like you need to break up with him. Here is how you do it.

Step 1: Take all his things and dump them on the front curb.
Step 2: Change all the locks in your apartment so he can't get in.
Step 3: Send pictures of it to his phone. Make sure you aren't there when he shows up next.
Step 4: Mysteriously, it all catches fire before he can get to it...??? How did that happen? No one knows, especially not you.
Step 5: Slash his tires when he comes back, claim innocence and refuse to pay for a tow truck.
Step 6: If he comes back with a gun, shoot him first and cite Stand Your Ground. I hope you pass as white.

Achievement unlocked! You're now the crazy ex!

Alternatively after step 3, you can go a more benign route:
Step 4: Buy pint of Ben & Jerry's, eat it during your next Netflix binge
Step 5: Call your mom and have her tell you you deserve so much better.
Step 6: Post about it on Facebook.
Step 7: Start a new hobby in an attempt to find yourself and/or your center. Either knitting or yoga are best. Kickboxing is okay, too. Rock climbing, not so much. Mafia hitman, definitely not.
Step 8: Congratulate yourself for being single and post about how much you're enjoying life as a single.

Achievement unlocked! You are now a twenty-something white chick who likes pumpkin spice lattes and wearing silk scarves for no reason! You go, girl!

(Disclaimer: This post meant for humorous purposes only.)

lol that was pretty good.