A Halfling's Odyssey

[captnamazing]

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At last,came the hour of respite!
Not far off, the hero spied a verdant isle
Ringed in colour like Yola's layer cake
Filbus wept as he swam toward the cay

He lit on the shores of the sandy beach
Chewed the water-melons to a pulp
Filled his stomach until he vomited red slime
Fell to his knees in praise of Bristlebane

“Oh My Great God Bristlebane, how ever
Can I please you, now? For it is clear that
You have had a mighty laugh. Pulled a prank
upon your Truest champion!

But now you have delivered me from Terror
And I believe this to be my chance to entreat
Yourself, with my own vows of servitude.
I must make haste!” Filbus cried to no one.

Thus, he raced up toward the island's middle
Upon the way – behold!! A halfling man!
Filbus went to him, fellow being of the 'bane
What ho and good morrow to ye, Filbus Hailed.

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The halfling was a deaf mute!! Dumb and blind!
Filbus spat on the ground in great anger
and smote his cousin of the Vale – to death.
The halfling fell, bloodied and helpless – to die.

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It was the end of Raotin Teawel
The ancient mariner of the Vale – Chronicler
of cetology and all manners of water-life
it is said that Mrs. Teawel, perceiving
Her late husband's demise – perished, with a babe on the teat.

Filbus noticed the island was populated by Aviaks
not unlike those he commonly slew in Sky
and the halflings hatred for aviaks was great
so he climbed to the top of the mountain

“I will bring Terror to all who stand in my way!”
Filbus declared at the top of his lungs
At the height of the mountain rising from the sea
In the Plane of Fear, Cazic-Thule laughed.

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Filbus leaped from the tippy top!
It is said that his feet did not touch ground for hours
That the concussive force of his jump
Made wizards 'round the world forget their hate

With the same titanic force that he propelled
himself, Filbus careened onto the aviak platform
the ground shook under his titanic feet
and the whole world of men bowed in Fear.