History of Rogean

[drktmplr12]

Originally Posted by captnamazing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The Creationist Myth of EQEMU & Rogean as recorded by the High Neckbeards of Norrath:

o sun!
i shy from your damnable presence
cast the blackout blinds across my windows
thus, i have obliterated life

So begat the second cumming
first there was Neroga
the god king - wielder of the thundercode
he spilled his seed unto the carpeted floor
rubbed it in with his feet
the stickiness in his toes reminded him
O those lost days of his homeland
some called it Valhalla
He called it EQ
And so in a titanic task
Neroga formed the alliance of gods
they ascended from their stanky pits
communed at length
filling ten thousand poop socks
and sacrificing them in the Great Fire

the answer was obvious
the great serpent SONY ONLINE ENTERTAINMENT
held fast in its lofty castle
terrorizing the peasant masses
slaying their cattle
penning the life-giving clouds of loot

Neroga breached the gates of the sky-keep
and cast with his thundercode
a mighty bolt of programming
which rent a great wound into the heart of SOE
and from it came pouring thousands of imprisoned souls
who embraced Neroga as the One True God King
Master of Universes
and as SOE fled
Neroga perched upon the citadel
beating his breast
he cried
I am ROGEAN
CREATOR OF WORLDS
and he cast his thundercode at the world
and the bolt rippled through the ground
found the internet tubes laid by the ancient priests
blasting the internet with the wrath of his vision

hundreds of lonely neckbeards
fapping in their primordial stench
drawing crude images on the walls of their basement
with the poo
of their socks
were given light
the light bled from their screens
they wept with joy as the world was born before their eyes
Rogean
all pras
they cried

and so now
in this blackened room
the vaulted light of creation pours from our screens
seducing us into existence
of an obsolete elf sim

i nominate this for best post of the year so far.