Maybe its time to bring the old solution

[Nirgon]

Responder: "Hello 911 what is your emergency? "
Caller: " MMMUUUUGGGHH!! OOAHAAHAH (unintelligeble)"
Responder: "You'll have to calm down sir just try to breathe and tell me what's going on"
Caller: " (unintelligble) CHARDOK! IT WAS HOLDING A STICK IT COULDA BEEN A STAVE AND OH GOD (unintelligeble)"
*click*
Responder: "That's at least the 100th pixel call we've gotten this week"