What this forum needs is...

[kaev]

a cleverly written bad word filter that can identify the word "professional" and most possible variants with a rotating cast of nonsequiturs like:

"burnt woods"
"King Tormax"
"WADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"
"dr00d"
"<Flowers of Happiness>"
"Derek"
a tinyurl rickroll link
"young doctor"
"Backdoor Bandit"
"supermodel girlfriend"
& etc.

Alternately, anybody who makes a serious comment using the term "professional" or any variant thereof to criticize a player, staffer, voyeur, or purveyor of in-game foodstuffs should have their forum avatar permanently replaced by the phrase "I'm an Idiot, please ignore me".