ITT: Rampant Self-Promotion

[Barkingturtle]

I've been posting here for about three years, and from time-to-time I receive PM's from people who say they enjoy my lyrical prose. It makes my dick blush. That said, these PM's give me the impression that at least a handful of you are literate, and for that reason I would like to share a novel I wrote. I've got a page up on Kickstarter (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/redjunction/red-junction) where you can read some and then you can buy it or you can call me a delusional, pretentious cunt full of baby shit. Whatever.

[Diggles]

who the fuck donated 100 dollars for something barkingturtle wrote

[Droxx]

probably harrison.

[Barkingturtle]

It means more coming from him, because his money smells like roast beef.

[Diggles]

those are hard earned meat dollars, spend em well.

[Diggles]

he just did it to get some skype time with big turtle

[Barkingturtle]

It's National By a Book Day. (http://www.buyabookday.org/)

Even if it isn't mine, pause the kiddie porn and do yourself a favor: buy a book before your brain turns to total shit.

[azeth]

I am here to rampantly self promote. At where do I begin to do this.

[Daliant17447]

Azeth, remember when we were bind chat pals in vent? Feels like a lifetime ago. I miss the good times raging about shitty people while raiding in sky.

[Daliant17447]

Back on topic - heres a link to my youtube page

Daliantvids (http://www.youtube.com/user/Daliantvids?feature=mhee)

[Alawen]

How does writing a novel cost anything. You have a computer, right? Go download Microsoft Office or something.

If you read his post on Kickstarter, you'd know the answer is research, editing and publishing costs. He also mentions some vague possibility of rewards for his patrons. That problem means he's going to pay me to create zombie sculptures.

[Diggles]

How does writing a novel cost anything. You have a computer, right? Go download Microsoft Office or something.

a+

[Alawen]

I mean probably, not problem. So much love for no editing.

[Barkingturtle]

Yeah, this is an experiment to see if I can self-publish by December first. I'm ten percent funded, so that's not good. If this fails I'll start submitting it to traditional publishing houses here in October, probably, when I'm done with a rewrite or two. Then I will wait three to twelve months to hear back from the publisher, one way or another. During this time, the publisher typically demands you do not submit your work anywhere else, so if they reject it the process starts over with someone new. It may end up being more expeditious to do it myself, still.

If you read his post on Kickstarter, you'd know the answer is research, editing and publishing costs. He also mentions some vague possibility of rewards for his patrons.

Yep, that's it, except the rewards are all listed down the right-hand side of the page. They range from a pre-ordered copy of the book to custom, collaborative fiction to naming rights for major characters. Pretty good for Kickstarter, in my opinion, where typically you find a lot of key-chains and rewards which often offer multiple copies of the book and nothing else. Pledge ninety bucks and receive ten copies--that kind of thing.

Anyway, I'm having fun and learning a lot of worst if not best practices for marketing my work. People have paid for my writing before, I've just never tried a crowd-funding thing like this so I thought I'd give it a shot. I recommend it to any creative-types out there. Thanks to the folks who have checked it out, and to those who haven't yet I hope your dick falls off while you're asleep and gets stuck in your ass and you give yourself AIDS.

[Lucky]

if u become next jk rowling dont forget us little ppl

[Nivar Quartz]

t I hope your dick falls off while you're asleep and gets stuck in your ass and you give yourself AIDS.


How much is the donation to make this the Foreword.

[Barkingturtle]

How much is the donation to make this the Foreword.

Ten bucks.

Less than one would spend for a half-and-half from a teenage crackwhore. Serious fucking bargain.

[Autotune]

I like zombie books and only like cowboys shows/movies. Can you send me a preview of a chapter or something to help me decide if I want to donate to this or not?

[Barkingturtle]

I like zombie books and only like cowboys shows/movies. Can you send me a preview of a chapter or something to help me decide if I want to donate to this or not?

The Kickstarter page has a link to a Preview Blog (http://excerptsfromredjunction.wordpress.com/) where I've posted three excerpts. The first excerpt is violent, gory and has zombies and a whore. The second and third have no zombies and are less graphic but still aren't for kids. These are just pieces I pulled from a couple chapters because they didn't spoil any of the story and still gave a taste of what the reader can expect.

Thanks for your interest. Ask away if you have any other questions and just so folks know, I'm not just begging for donations here. For five bucks you can pre-order the book and if you are inspired to pledge more there are various rewards which will be valuable to some dudes while other bros will just laugh and go back to stroking their neckbeards.

[Autotune]

The Kickstarter page has a link to a Preview Blog (http://excerptsfromredjunction.wordpress.com/) where I've posted three excerpts. The first excerpt is violent, gory and has zombies and a whore. The second and third have no zombies and are less graphic but still aren't for kids. These are just pieces I pulled from a couple chapters because they didn't spoil any of the story and still gave a taste of what the reader can expect.

Thanks for your interest. Ask away if you have any other questions and just so folks know, I'm not just begging for donations here. For five bucks you can pre-order the book and if you are inspired to pledge more there are various rewards which will be valuable to some dudes while other bros will just laugh and go back to stroking their neckbeards.

Giving it a look over, thanks.

[Alawen]

There are companies that will cover that if you actually produce good work. Know what they're called? Publishers. I know, it's fucking crazy.

And Steve Wozniak could have kept working at Hewlett-Packard. He's trying to self-publish. He explained it all on his Kickstarter page. Your inattention is matched only by your complete lack of imagination.

[Barkingturtle]

He explained it all on his Kickstarter page.

This has been the most surprising and perplexing element of this experiment. It is a motherfucker to get people to click links. I have threads on horror-fiction forums where the denizens are purportedly seeking stuff to consume and the thread will get 500 views for every click I receive. People complain that they don't trust new people. Sadly, I'm afraid we've all been Goatse'd too many times before. I call it Meatspin Fatigue.

[Alawen]

You only have someone's attention for 2-3 seconds without a payoff. I'd recommend rethinking your marketing to be as concise as your regular forum posts. They're very effective. Wall of text is not. You know that. Condense, condense, condense. Boil everything down to its essence and clobber them over the head. Come up with a one liner that makes people want to read more.

[Barkingturtle]

Startin' to get them clicks and pledges. Need more. Go pawn some of your mom's jewelry or give some blood and buy my book.

[Barkingturtle]

Passed the thousand-dollar threshold this morning.

If you've been looking for a bandwagon to jump on, you could do worse than hopping on mine. Time is running out to claim your piece of history.

[Thana8088]

"When you're trying to write weird fiction, publishers look at you like you're a weirdo."

Good luck and consider yourself (minutely) backed.

[Barkingturtle]

Every little bit is really a huge bit.

Thanks a ton. I am not ashamed to say this is important to me and it's really gratifying to have people give a shit alongside me.

[Thana8088]

Three days to go and you need a few more backers (not packers).