Emergency Motionz to Bar Fire Pots Binding & Revert Bindz

[Juntsie]

Here comez da plaintiffz, Keep Green Classic Coalition, Teleporters' Chamber of Commerce, and the Grobb Conservationz League. Dey are represented by North-renowned troll professional Juntsie (available for hire at hourly rate of 5,000 plat per hour). Plaintiffz seek da emergency injunction from da Nameless (GMz) barring all bindz magicks in da' Timorous Deep and converting bind spot for all who bound dere to safge spot in Oasis. As most respected legal advisorz in all Norrath, Juntsie has no personal interest in fire pots (other den binding dere like all big brain adventurer), and admit dere are gud arguments on both side of dis issue.

Neverdaless, Juntsie agree to file dis motion for one reason: it NOT CLASSIC fer' all magickal adventurers (and dere entire extended families) to bind at da fire pots. Plaintiffz Grobb Conservationz League specifically fearz dat the character of Grobb will forever change cuz squishies can travel freely to Grobb at hump of pot, spreading dere bad and noxious odors to all Trollz. Dis is a public health nuisance. Before fire pot, adventurers wud at least haveta treck through da swamp, which would make dem smell kinda gud (except for gnome and dorf, who *always* smell DELICIOUS).

Plaintizz do not dispute dat' it wuz classic fer' a few days to bind at fire pots, but dere are occasional examples of when techniculz classic is NOT REAL CLASSIC, and da GMs must take extraordinary actionz for benefit of all. Dis is one of those rare circumstanzez for dese other reasons, too:

(1) Fire pots make da travel too eayz and will cause long term health decline for squishes. Juntsie maintain fitness at old age cuz he still runz around to dis day. Now he bound at fire pots, Juntsie already put on five stonez! Juntsie' wife make comment and force him to cut back. Not gud. It just too easy ta gate! Juntsie love dis, but it ain't classic. Gods meant for us to runz. Innoruk hates us. So he make us run. Simple!

(2) Fire pots grant 24/7 accessz to extreme buff power. Since da fire pot, wez always have da BIG CLARITY BRAIN. Cuz just go to da spire top, threaten to eat squishie, and get da buff. Not try yet? DO IT. GETZ BIG BRAIN! Juntsie gettin kinda' addictedz.

(3) Fire potz gunna cause more more headaches for Norrath GM babyz sitters. Cuz dragon and cash merbs no longer scary and can get bashed in second, da fire pot grant unprecedented long term advantage to all bound dere. Canz just use dem to engage wit blink of eyez! Moreoverz, tink of all dem "RAPTORZ TRAIN ME PLZ REZ OR BAN DIS GUY" petitions in upcoming months. Baby sitterz got enuf headaches as is!

(4) Fire potz gunna cauz inflationz and devalue da plat. Fire potz basically all can bash guard buffet. Justz keepz using dem to find guard, bash onez dat open, and take dere plat. No more guard... which gud ting in dorf and gnome cities. Seez final argument below.

(5) Gnome population at extreme risk. ...Juntsie confess dat his sudden weight gain might bez from using da fire pot to go into gnome city at late night for snack. Juntsie notice other trollz and ogrez doing same... can't... help it. Late night snacks too easy to get wit da fire pots... Fearz dat this might not be sustainable long term for Norrath gnome populationz.

Fer dese reasons, Plaintiffz request immediate action barring binding at firepots and resetting all firepots bind points to Oasis. In additionz to curing tings above, influx of adventurers in Oasis will help keep da crocodile population in check and keep da little bashers safe from Lockjaw. Juntsie also petition for all troll professional fees in connection wit dis motionz (1,000 plat). If motion denied, it all gud, cuz fire pots super gud ting kinda and help folkz.

[magnetaress]

Here here, just remove bind affinity entirely and put in soul binders for every class everywhere we think people should be allowed to bind.

[galach]

DAP hired the great Juntsie to keep their port cartel going.

[Juntsie]

Juntsie admit representing Teleporters' Chamber of Commerce, but dere no argument above fer economic impact on da porting squishies, as it haz little to noz impact.

[Juntsie]

Juntsie further clarify dat Teleporters' Chamber of Commerce share no affiliation with Dial a Port, Dial a Daniel, or dat one druid wit name kinda like Dial dat mess up da /who all telepathy powerz.

[DeathsSilkyMist]

Fire pots are just a fad to be honest. It isn't that great of a bind point. Most people will change their bind point in a few months after they realize how inconvenient it is to not bind near your current hunting location.

It will become even less useful when Velious drops, since there will be no pot for Thurg/Kael/Skyshrine.

Druids and Wizards are plentiful on both Green and Blue, so ports will always be fairly easy to get until the pop declines heavily.

[kaizersoze]

You may as well add spires that teleport people if you're going to allow firepot binds, rah rah Luclin bad.

[Jibartik]

https://i.imgur.com/XrK3YUN.gif

[Juntsie]

...Dat image make Juntsie hungry. It like millionz of squishie halflings cried out all at onze before being tenderized and ready for oven...

[magnetaress]

Shamans can make teleport pots, I'm just sayin.

[douglas1999]

Shamans can make teleport pots, I'm just sayin.

Yeah but do you know how much they cost to make? Gottt damn that's a lotta platinums.

[Juntsie]

As a self-made troll platz millionaire, Juntsie emphasize dat arguments above are driven by da all-encompassing power of CLASSIC, minimizing GM burden/drama, and ensuring a sustainable gnome population for da decades to come.

[kjs86z]

10/10

[Bardp1999]

DAP hired the great Juntsie to keep their port cartel going.

Galach may have to wash his body with a stick, but the man can see straight to the truth of the matter

[Waedawen]

Shamans can make teleport pots, I'm just sayin.

And then you have fucking morons trying to poo poo Juntsie's argument with retarded shit like this.
Yes man, A shaman spending 500+ plat on a potion that can go to 1 of 5 places with a 30 second cast time and a failable combine is TOTALLY the same.

Yeah man, the entire server population being able to have access to essentially unlimited teleports to 12 different locations is exactly the same as shaman teleports. Totally dude. Nailed it.

Same goes for fucking brainiacs like You may as well add spires that teleport people if you're going to allow firepot binds, rah rah Luclin bad.

Fucking embarrassing.

Anyways, I had a firepot bind on blue and basically the same amount of people binded here and the teleporter room was poppin for a few months. But, eventually people stop playing, and over time the traffic going through the braziers was less and less and less.

However, with the nature of Green being a very limited timeline, and the fact that You have SHAMELESS FUCKING TURBONERDS ABUSING EVERY SINGLE ITEM AND STRATEGY THEY POSSIBLY CAN as a result of the new "Green Raid Culture," the only people who would even deign to think shit isn't irreversibly changed forever are the same fucking turbo nerds and they're just lying through their teeth.

[Juntsie]

Juntsie emphasize again dat fire pots have no material impact on porting revenuez for da porters. In factz, prudent druid and wizard who shrewdly bind at pot make a KILLING on dem ports to Dreadlandz and weird spotz like da Permafrost. Why wud anyone wantz to go dere, Juntsie wonder? It too cold! Hard find gud stuff to eatz.

[kjs86z]

Juntsie emphasize again dat fire pots have no material impact on porting revenuez for da porters. In factz, prudent druid and wizard who shrewdly bind at pot make a KILLING on dem ports to Dreadlandz and weird spotz like da Permafrost. Why wud anyone wantz to go dere, Juntsie wonder? It too cold! Hard find gud stuff to eatz.

im really enjoying this

[red_demonman]

Not classic. File under resolved.

[charmcitysking]

best thread in months

[Balimon]

best thread in months

[DoodyLich666]

Kints or has much wisdom

[DoodyLich666]

Juntsie* I don’t know what that phone autocorrect was supposed to mean...

[Solusekro]

Should I bind in the firepot room or above it on the spire thing at the ocean surface?

[Juntsie]

Juntsie advise binding on da top of dem spires, so can swim ta' Kunark. No reazonz to bind in da room itself. If not bound yet, goz now. Do wut Juntsie did and jus' follow first smart looking squishie in robe uz see. Deep southwest corner of da ocean. Jus' dont run into da raptor island cuz they always hungry and have really gud nose smell ability.