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View Full Version : New Study Links Project 99 Playing to Premature Balding


purist
12-03-2010, 09:11 PM
It has long been suspected that whether or not you play on Project 99 is a strong indicator in your likeliness of being a virgin, but a new study shows that it is an even stronger indicator of male premature balding.

The new study, published by a team of researchers headed by Professor Purist, confirms that Project 99 seems to play a decisive role in determining whether or not you suffer from premature hair loss.

For several minutes the researcher searched across the forums for candidates who were affected by premature hair loss. In photographic samples taken from the "RL pic" and "Post your GF" threads, the researcher then looked for common factors - and eventually discovered them: in his initial step he succeeded in narrowing it down to a single common factor in the likeliness you are prematurely balding.

"Our findings permit two conclusions," said Professor Purist when consulted for an interview. "First, that the degree of Project-99-playing shows a strong relationship with whether or not you are prematurely balding irl. And secondly, *runs fingers through hair* that I play occasionally and still have full head of beautiful hair."

The data further demonstrates that high post counts on the Project 99 forums are a boosted-indicator of whether you are prematurely balding. Additionally, playing of the following classes and races seems to show a synergetic effect to likeliness premature balding: Mages, Dwarf Warriors, Rangers, Druids or any of the Elven races.

"It all begins with the receding hairlines, and Project-99-playing is a strong you having that," said Professor Purist, taking off his glasses for dramatic effect. "The higher your post count on the forums, that's when the forehead becomes higher, the hair at the back of the man's head gets thinner and thinner."

"Every second you play any of the Elven races, the more likely the person behind the screen suffers from greater and greater hair loss. There are hardly any successful counter-measures - despite uninstalling. At that point there's just no return."

The results have been published in the November edition of the Rants and Flames Journal.

Lastly, Professor Purist mentioned he has collected preliminary data that seems to show that playing an Erudite Paladin seems to be a strong indicator of having a large penis. He promises a thorough study on the matter is forthcoming.

--------

Subject A ("Azeth"):
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9537/azeth.jpg

Subject B ("Morlaeth"):
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/8222/morlaeth.jpg

Subject C ("Toop"):
http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/1093/toopy.jpg

Subject D ("Rogean"):
lolremoved

Subject E ("ShadowWulf"):
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/2696/shadowwulf.jpg

Subject F ("Spewy"):
http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/3091/spewys.jpg

Subject G ("R Kromwell"):
http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/2715/rkromwell.jpg

Subject H ("Gawain"):
http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/836/gawainq.jpg

Subject I ("Carnie 85"):
http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/129/carnie85.jpg

Subject J ("Jeremy"):
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/3073/jeremyh.jpg

Rogean
12-03-2010, 09:15 PM
In all of that, I'm surprised there wasn't a rogaine joke.

Ongbak
12-03-2010, 09:17 PM
In all of that, I'm surprised there wasn't a rogaine joke.

LOL its on now!

Pikle
12-03-2010, 09:38 PM
haha ok first off. Let me start with saying, MORLAETH HAHAHA! Ok next, I actually agree with you completely, I play a druid and I've lost a ton of hair since I started on this server. The manastone camp alone I probably lost 10,000's of thousands of hairs! I would also like to see a pic of Professor Purist hair! I bet this study did a number on you! Your post count is pretty high also...

AexDestroy
12-03-2010, 10:37 PM
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs363.snc3/23463_1374290005074_1466533017_30925968_1769026_n. jpg

I disagree

Hasbinbad
12-03-2010, 10:55 PM
10/10
Would read again.

(despite the fact that I have a full head of lustrous brown hair, this is exactly why I never posted my irl pic on these forums, lulz)

Spewys
01-12-2011, 05:14 AM
You guys are wrong....

Harrison
01-12-2011, 06:09 AM
10/10
Would read again.

(despite the fact that I have a full head of lustrous brown hair, this is exactly why I never posted my irl pic on these forums, lulz)

It's really because you're as ugly on the exterior as you are a disgusting human being psychologically. Admit it and you'll feel a lot better about yourself.

Harrison
01-12-2011, 06:10 AM
haha ok first off. Let me start with saying, MORLAETH HAHAHA! Ok next, I actually agree with you completely, I play a druid and I've lost a ton of hair since I started on this server. The manastone camp alone I probably lost 10,000's of thousands of hairs! I would also like to see a pic of Professor Purist hair! I bet this study did a number on you! Your post count is pretty high also...

Hahah, Pikle, let's not talk about the effort we all put into that period of time to have our efforts wasted on tools lol

skulldudes
01-12-2011, 07:15 AM
i have hair as thick and luxurious as a swedish school girl

i am a variable!

Alawen Everywhere
01-12-2011, 08:24 AM
This would be funnier if he picked guys who actually displayed symptoms of male pattern baldness.

Instead, it's just another demonstration that purist's not very bright.

rugerx
01-12-2011, 09:32 AM
After seeing that, some of those self proclaimed "dimes" are looking more and more like a "nickel" or even 2 bits.

Damn boys, some of those hairlines really are creepin up.

Might be time for the Rogaine, or even the razor and just go Captain Picard on that melon, chicks dig the Picard.

rugerx
01-12-2011, 09:33 AM
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2TVMxnrSCKY/S_WU_C8R0uI/AAAAAAAAKsc/jnW3N-p6kco/s1600/captain-picard-full-of-win-500x381.jpg

mitic
01-12-2011, 07:00 PM
this is what happens after 11 years of eq!

http://i684.photobucket.com/albums/vv203/miticeq/bald.jpg

azeth
01-13-2011, 09:25 AM
Wut? im 25 and have beautiful hair thankyou very much. You be mistaking a bad sunburn line for the beginnings of hair loss, sir.

azeth
01-13-2011, 09:29 AM
lol @ "you be mistaking"

itype2fast4mybrain

azeth
01-13-2011, 09:30 AM
Also A is for Azeth!

Spewys
01-14-2011, 05:57 PM
This is to funny... I don't give. Rats azz of if I go bald..lol. Dudes got to much time on ur hands.

Anderdale
01-14-2011, 06:34 PM
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs363.snc3/23463_1374290005074_1466533017_30925968_1769026_n. jpg

I disagree

fucking hippy

Gawain
01-15-2011, 09:25 PM
Pretty sure I wouldn't give up balding to look like you =).

Secrets
01-16-2011, 07:40 AM
In all of that, I'm surprised there wasn't a rogaine joke.

THEY SAY I NEED SOME ROGEAN TO PUT IN MY HAIR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQHPYelqr0E

AexDestroy
01-16-2011, 03:11 PM
fucking hippy

lol

to0p
02-02-2011, 11:14 PM
Further review of this study shows that subjects with premature balding have hot girlfriends / fiances / wives ... that also play on the P99 or approve of their signifigant others excessive gaming and still give them poon.

Otto
02-02-2011, 11:28 PM
I am also balding!

Knuckle
02-03-2011, 12:17 AM
It's really because you're as ugly on the exterior as you are a disgusting human being psychologically. Admit it and you'll feel a lot better about yourself.

lets be friends

quido
02-03-2011, 12:58 AM
Haha! You are fucking retarded...

Knuckle
02-03-2011, 01:56 AM
Further review of this study shows that subjects with premature balding have hot girlfriends / fiances / wives ... that also play on the P99 or approve of their signifigant others excessive gaming and still give them poon.

l like your hair

who does your hair?

Knuckle
02-03-2011, 01:57 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBDnHZNbjCg&feature=player_detailpage

Spewys
02-03-2011, 06:47 PM
Yeah toop we actually have women! Not some in game toon love!

Opaline
02-04-2011, 12:26 AM
fucking hippy

So easy, a caveman could do it!

~(8(/)

Opaline
02-04-2011, 12:28 AM
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs363.snc3/23463_1374290005074_1466533017_30925968_1769026_n. jpg

I disagree

LOL Guess I'm not up to caveman status - quoted the wrong post :D