The Rivervale Vanguard

[Lhancelot]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

please PM me details maybe i can come join the Vanguard today

You need to make a RP guild for halflings, even raid see what all you can conquer with just halflings. The screenshots would be epic, all halflings!

[skarlorn]

I have once petitioned to create the <Misty Thicket Militia> but then i did not log back in for months.

I absoLUTEly don't want to have to log in enough to keep people happy in a guild i created. I determined the best style, going forward, was to create the Rivervale Vanguard, so that halfling heroes from all guilds can post here and contribute to the defense of the Wall.

Hyjal stole my idea for his new lord bob guild.

[Triiz]

Originally Posted by Lhancelot [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You need to make a RP guild for halflings, even raid see what all you can conquer with just halflings. The screenshots would be epic, all halflings!

Guild first Priest of Discord raid, while all the non-halflings looking on in awe.

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I did get a video from on top of Fools Gold of Filbus v. Llandris, that's why I didn't have any screenshots of it, but for some reason it's all fucked up and laggy even though I wasn't lagging in game. Disappointing to say the least, had a good view of kill shot too.

[Lhancelot]

Originally Posted by Triiz [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I did get a video from on top of Fools Gold of Filbus v. Llandris, that's why I didn't have any screenshots of it, but for some reason it's all fucked up and laggy even though I wasn't lagging in game. Disappointing to say the least, had a good view of kill shot too.

Damn. That's like baking the perfect cake in an oven, having it rise and look beautiful, then as you pull it out the oven it collapses into a pancake. Utter sadness.

[Jimjam]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

please PM me details maybe i can come join the Vanguard today

Unfortunately we were already don by the time this was posted:

Originally Posted by Jimjam [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You'll be glad to know I gathered some hobbits and mercenaries to continue the push on the dragonkin threat today. There may have been some dark elf trickery at play though!

Fortunately there was a twist in the events, which suggests to me further vermin euthenisation might be required! I blame those dark elves!

[mickmoranis]

I love this becuse it really reminds me of my favorite fancy thread:

http://www.notacult.com/fansy3.htm

My favorite part, cus its SO CLASSIC (I love the hubris of the average casual)


[Wed Jun 12 15:58:49 2002] Kelton says out of character, 'wtf happened here'
[Wed Jun 12 15:59:02 2002] Xebz says out of character, 'KELTON FAST GET OUT'
[Wed Jun 12 15:59:14 2002] Kelton says out of character, 'lol naw'
[Wed Jun 12 15:59:33 2002] Priest of Discord shouts 'Let this fool's meaningless death be a reminder to you all that the power of Discord is absolute!'
[Wed Jun 12 15:59:33 2002] Kelton has been slain by Priest of Discord!

[skarlorn]

A mustachio'd human druid in the East Commonlands stands at the lip of the Trade Tunnel. He wears stinky leather... and is that egg yolk trailing down his beard?

"The Rivervale Vanguard seeks new members!" the human druid shouts. "I, Womblord the Un-Killed have been commissioned to seek new Guardians by the Lord of the Misty Thicket!"

He takes a griffon egg out of his pocket and bites half of it off, chewing crunchily as griffon embryo trails down his gloved hands and splats on the dirt.

"Applicants must prove their loyalty to the Vale by providing evidence of the defeat of Foes of Rivervale on the Vanguard Chronicle, along with a short application essay. Enlisted men will receive Jumjum Stalk, Jumjum Juice, and a platinum stipend the size of which is based upon the quality of your application," Womblord drones.

Join the Vanguard. Post screenshots of your applicant defending Rivervale. Filbus himself will give you a stipend for your valiance.

[Lhancelot]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

A mustachio'd human druid in the East Commonlands stands at the lip of the Trade Tunnel. He wears stinky leather... and is that egg yolk trailing down his beard?

"The Rivervale Vanguard seeks new members!" the human druid shouts. "I, Womblord the Un-Killed have been commissioned to seek new Guardians by the Lord of the Misty Thicket!"

He takes a griffon egg out of his pocket and bites half of it off, chewing crunchily as griffon embryo trails down his gloved hands and splats on the dirt.

"Applicants must prove their loyalty to the Vale by providing evidence of the defeat of Foes of Rivervale on the Vanguard Chronicle, along with a short application essay. Enlisted men will receive Jumjum Stalk, Jumjum Juice, and a platinum stipend the size of which is based upon the quality of your application," Womblord drones.

Join the Vanguard. Post screenshots of your applicant defending Rivervale. Filbus himself will give you a stipend for your valiance.

This was great. For some reason, as I read how Womblord spoke, I imagined him sounding and looking like this guy in Beowulf. (Malkovich ftw!)

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[Jimjam]

The Dark Elves are nefarious creatures. Constantly plotting to defile Misty Thicket at the whim of their master, Innoruuk.

Lanys T'Vyl was a dark elf, but more than that. A living embodiment of Innoruuk on Antonica. She was not the only such paragon, though. In every land an Avatar of Hate walks.

There was also an embodiment of hate upon Kunark. Unusually for his type, normally concerned with the intricacies of Fear, this specimen was an Iksar of hate.

Venril Sathir was it's name.

Just as Venril Sathir was an Avatar, so was Jimjam. Well, so he claimed. The mighty Leatherfoot Raider was renowned for his claim to being the living avatar of Rolfron Zek, the dog of war. It is true Jimjam had a ravenous appetite, almost lupine in nature, and was Rivervale's consecutive competitive hotdog eater champion for many years.

Many are familiar with Jimjam's work with the peaceful giants of Kael, keeping Rivervale safe from dragons. Two of Jimjam's allies in clearing the dragons of the Western Wastes were on a quest of their own; an insidious corruption had spread over Norrath tainting Tunare's Children. It had to be stopped before Mangler the guard dog got too dangerous!

So, Jimjam sought to parley with his contemporary. Venril Sathir. Who had been dead for centuries. No problem!

The adventurers tracked down the remains of this long dead lizard to a certain 'Karnor's Castle'. While no cleric, Jimjam was not entirely closed to the abyss between life and death. As an avatar of Zek he had sent many across this divide, though admittedly it had always been in one particular and grisly direction. To death.

Taking the severed paw of an unfortunate splitpaw gnoll Jimjam squatted above the dusty old bones of the long dead reptile. With righteous fury he swung the rotten paw at the atrophied corpse, "Wake up you bastard! You good for nothing Iksar! By the power of Zek and Innoruuk you will return to the mortal plane!". Jimjam's companions looked at him confused.

As he beat away, suddenly the paw began to spark light. Fireflies danced around the old Iksar bones. Slowly the bones drew in these fires of life, and soon the dusty pile was an ethereal iksar. There stood the Spirit of Venril Sathir!

"Impressive conjuration, Zekling!" muttered Venril's ghost, "I sense you do not wake me out of charity. Tell me, what do you seek?"

"My colleagues seek to find the conduit of power that has corrupted the creatures of the land".

"So mortals, you seek to end the tainting of Tunare's children? So be it, I have no cares. My death has been caused by this foolishness and I want no more to do with it. Bring me a scroll with the knowledge of resurrection so that I may once again live. I will hand you that which you seek."

As a responsible warrior Jimjam always kept such a scroll to hand. This deal had been easier than he expected... He passed the scroll to the Iksar Ghost, which began to laugh hysterically,

"I am alive! My thanks to you. And now I will aid you in your quest for preserving the forests of Norrath. Your carcass will help nurture the soils of the wilderness!"

Venril had used Jimjam and his friends to be resurrected and now was going to feed them to the animals they quested to protect! A trick worthy of even Bristlebane himself!

There was one flaw in his plan: Halfling intelligence. Quite cunningly Jimjam had secured access to the legendary 'Phone of Bats' and already dozens of elves cordoned off the area. Venril Sathir channelled his hatred, but the elven runes inscribed on Jimjam's skin glimmered like the crystal waters of the Rivervale fishing hole, entirely unharmed and stoic as a Rivervale Trout.

Channelling the spirits of his home town, Jimjam riposted with the fury of little Chomper, striking Venril across the head thrice with his Midnight Mallet and putting the befuddled Iksar into a walking sleep.

In seconds the elf army devoured Venril Sathir like a swarm of Large Piranha, each elf taking a scale from the iksar as a memento. Jimjam and his two dragon slaying companions did not take such meaningless keepsakes. Instead the grizzled warrior wolfed a breaded sausage and presented a fist to each of his dragon slayers.

Opening his hands, in each palm lay a pulsing green stone. Exactly the conduits of power his comrades had been seeking. The natural order would be restored, and with that perhaps the dragon threat and dark elf malice could be kept at bay.

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[Lhancelot]

Originally Posted by Jimjam [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The Dark Elves are nefarious creatures. Constantly plotting to defile Misty Thicket at the whim of their master, Innoruuk.

Lanys T'Vyl was a dark elf, but more than that. A living embodiment of Innoruuk on Antonica. She was not the only such paragon, though. In every land an Avatar of Hate walks.

There was also an embodiment of hate upon Kunark. Unusually for his type, normally concerned with the intricacies of Fear, this specimen was an Iksar of hate.

Venril Sathir was it's name.

Just as Venril Sathir was an Avatar, so was Jimjam. Well, so he claimed. The mighty Leatherfoot Raider was renowned for his claim to being the living avatar of Rolfron Zek, the dog of war. It is true Jimjam had a ravenous appetite, almost lupine in nature, and was Rivervale's consecutive competitive hotdog eater champion for many years.

Many are familiar with Jimjam's work with the peaceful giants of Kael, keeping Rivervale safe from dragons. Two of Jimjam's allies in clearing the dragons of the Western Wastes were on a quest of their own; an insidious corruption had spread over Norrath tainting Tunare's Children. It had to be stopped before Mangler the guard dog got too dangerous!

So, Jimjam sought to parley with his contemporary. Venril Sathir. Who had been dead for centuries. No problem!

The adventurers tracked down the remains of this long dead lizard to a certain 'Karnor's Castle'. While no cleric, Jimjam was not entirely closed to the abyss between life and death. As an avatar of Zek he had sent many across this divide, though admittedly it had always been in one particular and grisly direction. To death.

Taking the severed paw of an unfortunate splitpaw gnoll Jimjam squatted above the dusty old bones of the long dead reptile. With righteous fury he swung the rotten paw at the atrophied corpse, "Wake up you bastard! You good for nothing Iksar! By the power of Zek and Innoruuk you will return to the mortal plane!". Jimjam's companions looked at him confused.

As he beat away, suddenly the paw began to spark light. Fireflies danced around the old Iksar bones. Slowly the bones drew in these fires of life, and soon the dusty pile was an ethereal iksar. There stood the Spirit of Venril Sathir!

"Impressive conjuration, Zekling!" muttered Venril's ghost, "I sense you do not wake me out of charity. Tell me, what do you seek?"

"My colleagues seek to find the conduit of power that has corrupted the creatures of the land".

"So mortals, you seek to end the tainting of Tunare's children? So be it, I have no cares. My death has been caused by this foolishness and I want no more to do with it. Bring me a scroll with the knowledge of resurrection so that I may once again live. I will hand you that which you seek."

As a responsible warrior Jimjam always kept such a scroll to hand. This deal had been easier than he expected... He passed the scroll to the Iksar Ghost, which began to laugh hysterically,

"I am alive! My thanks to you. And now I will aid you in your quest for preserving the forests of Norrath. Your carcass will help nurture the soils of the wilderness!"

Venril had used Jimjam and his friends to be resurrected and now was going to feed them to the animals they quested to protect! A trick worthy of even Bristlebane himself!

There was one flaw in his plan: Halfling intelligence. Quite cunningly Jimjam had secured access to the legendary 'Phone of Bats' and already dozens of elves cordoned off the area. Venril Sathir channelled his hatred, but the elven runes inscribed on Jimjam's skin glimmered like the crystal waters of the Rivervale fishing hole, entirely unharmed and stoic as a Rivervale Trout.

Channelling the spirits of his home town, Jimjam riposted with the fury of little Chomper, striking Venril across the head thrice with his Midnight Mallet and putting the befuddled Iksar into a walking sleep.

In seconds the elf army devoured Venril Sathir like a swarm of Large Piranha, each elf taking a scale from the iksar as a memento. Jimjam and his two dragon slaying companions did not take such meaningless keepsakes. Instead the grizzled warrior wolfed a breaded sausage and presented a fist to each of his dragon slayers.

Opening his hands, in each palm lay a pulsing green stone. Exactly the conduits of power his comrades had been seeking. The natural order would be restored, and with that perhaps the dragon threat and dark elf malice could be kept at bay.

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The only good iksar is a dead one. Good job!