Women of Norrath, what's your experience?

[Vlak]

Originally Posted by JPMorgan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I was thinking about this earlier. Obviously a socially inept, needy male isn't going to do well in attracting women in any situation. However, men are primarily expected to initiate dialogue with women: it's an observable cultural norm that spans nearly all walks of life. For a lot of male gamers the MMO scene serves the same purpose as a bar, library, park or work environment in as far as finding a potential partner goes.

I don't think the claim that EQ is a game, and therefore you should only be here to play, has any validity. If this were the case then the same would apply to the above environments that I listed. Aren't these the places single adults are supposed to meet one another? Does it seem irrational to seek out a potential partner with shared interests?

It just seems narrow minded to be offended by the fact that men will show interest in women who game. It's like the holy grail for a lot of guys. Finding a woman who tolerates your considerable dedication to a digital world is hard enough: finding one that wants to share it is priceless. I've had a few friends who have met their significant others over MMOs. One of those couples even met on live.

Some men are going to be bad at picking up women. Figure out how to bust their balls enough so that they leave you alone. Sounds unfair? Men have the unfair assignment of having to go out of their way to approach and impress women while risking humiliation. Some women go to the beach just to surf, others go to bars just to drink: if you're here just to game then you'll have to figure out avoid unwanted attention just like they do.

I really like how Aj put it:



Even if it's slightly out of context, it still applies.

tl;dr; Society's norms do not absolve anyone of responsibility for their actions nor are they a reason someone else should have to put up with bullshit. Take responsibility for your actions and lead by example.

Sounds like this post is trying to say "Shut up and figure out how to deal with it, ladies. We guys have it hard enough as it is."

This post mentions an observable cultural norm that men are supposed to approach women and not the other way around. Well, let's think about that, why does this norm exist? Is it biologically-based or is it, as you say, cultural, and therefore in the realm of control by its constituent individuals?

Feel like you (general you, not calling out JP specifically) have too much of a burden placed on you, as a man, to approach and talk to women? If there's a norm for you to approach a woman, what about a woman who goes out to approach a man? It's not normative by your own definition, so I'd say it's even more difficult for her. So "shut up and figure out how to deal with it, dudes. Ladies have it hard enough as it is."

That said, I agree that showing interest in someone online is not, inherently, offensive. The manner of expression, or its frequency is an entirely different matter.

Also, being interested in someone, even in-game, just because they're a female? It's the RL equivalent of going into a library full of strangers and chatting up every woman you see. Yes you're all in the same place likely with the same purpose, maybe even the same interest, but your only real reason for talking to them is that they are all female. Seem a bit off?

[Sebekkha]

Kevintung male human paladin is a lady in RL , but that's the only lady I've ever seen play a male character in EQ

[HeallunRumblebelly]

I had a great reply written out and realized this wasn't RnF [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] I'd just like to say as P99's premiere princess that I don't feel I've ever gotten the respect I deserve due to my choice of character and incorrect tone of voice. Ain't that some shit.

[Cecily]

The problem is, every person you meet will ask you that.

[Rhambuk]

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The problem is, every person you meet will ask you that.

The majority of my characters on p99 have been female, not once has anyone ever asked me if i was female irl.

Maybe I'm juts so macho it exudes through my avatar and people just know.

also you don't have to answer when someone asks about your real life

[HeallunRumblebelly]

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The problem is, every person you meet will ask you that.

Literally never once been asked if I'm a guy. TBH it's quite rude.

[Estu]

I've gotta say the level of discourse in this thread is a lot higher than I expected. Lots of good points all around. I don't have any to add, though [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Hailto]

I never ask if someone is a girl IRL cause i don't really care, im not on eq to have elf cyber. Lets duo this evening though cecily, if u know what i mean bby.

[Bolix]

I don't think that it is acceptable that the first reply to a post on female experiences in EQ refers to women as whores.
Racism and homophobia aren't acceptable, so why is misogyny? If we casually refer to women as whores, even as a joke, then we create an atmosphere of low-level sexism and intimidation which leads to the mistreatment of women.
Have a look at the everyday sexism project
http://www.everydaysexism.com/
which gives 1000s of examples of, well, everyday sexism.

On the main point, as a male, no-one ever flirts with me online, probably because i'm double ugly (ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside). Playing a female toon in another game, someone was being pretty friendly and asked me how old i was. I replied "old and male" and he felt a little sheepish after that.

I have to say that I play to level up, have fun, get fat loots, but not really to chat with members of the opposite sex. And if people ask me RL questions that I'm not comfortable with, like the other posters suggest, I just answer as my toon "i'm a troll, i come from grobb"

[Gaffin 7.0]

no offense but women just cant take the pressure being hardcore, if they do its very slim odds, it usually ends up with whining or /q'ing from rage, cant take criticism as well