Women of Norrath, what's your experience?

[knix]

We are all so different, I am not concerned about being the best, or trying to compete with the males playing.

All of our experiences are all so unique, I don't think you can make generalizations of typical events.

That being said, i have come across guys who think that because I am a female that I have used my feminine whiles to get where I am in the game. That somehow I allow the males in the game to "give" me stuff, when i have worked for the items, being the 16 highest in DKP in TMO, and in the top 10 dkp for tracking hours.

I do not play like a guy though, I defiantly am a support kind of player, the cleric that waits in the camp for the hot-pullers to bring the dragon in. Someone has to be at "camp" otherwise there is no camp. Sometimes i get very stressed out while duoing or trioing when it has to be done exactly timed a certain way. When it requires a lot of stressfull playing i walk away from the computer feeling fully spent, needing to relax, not energized because we just did something pretty spectacular.

I do not hide being female. I also had to quit playing a male char that i leveled from 30-52, i kept beaming smiles at people, and i could tell it was wierding them out, then i always felt compelled to explain my gender.

I never accepted hand outs, and only accept help from people that I feel like i have helped them and they are returning a favor. I do not take advantage of kind people, and it really bothers me to see others get used by people that use people.

Also, before I act in any outrageously flirty way with anyone, I have gotten to know them well enough already made sure that they are very secure in their own life and are not going to getting attached to me. I have had some very uncomfortable conversations on the front end of some very good friendships, to make sure that its not going to go into a weird place.

I am not quite sure if this is what you were asking, but there it is.

[Shaakglith12194]

Unfortunately, for every female gamer that represents her sex in a professional manner (plays class well, doesn't try to flirt for handouts) there are some that do play up their sex for advantages. I've played with many female gamers, flirted with some if I thought it was welcome, and just had a good time doing MMO things and talking about MMO things with others. Probably played with way more respectable female gamers than I have ewhores, but even one guild-destroying ewhore can remain in your memory for a long time.

The main one that comes to mind for me is this druid in my raid guild during Vanilla WoW. We were horde and tearing our way through molten core, going farther all the time, getting pimped out, working like a well-oiled machine that spits out items. We had a druid named Bella or Bellamoo or something who was very much flirting with the guild leader constantly. It got out of hand, he started screwing up at raids when she was there, he was never able to help out anyone in the guild because he was constantly farming stuff for her or helping her alt or just basically spending every moment with this girl. He would ignore DKP to give her loot because he thought it was "what the guild needed" to progress, and there was a lot of very vocal complaining about the whole thing. Long story short, she left guild once she had the loot she wanted, he got upset and quit game, guild disbanded and we reformed under a new tag with me as the new main tank. We lost quite a few members in the reformation and by the time I quit the game, we hadn't really regained our focus.

All that being said, if games had a playerbase that was mostly female, it would all be flipped around. Some dudes would play on their sex for advantage and others would just try to be good players. My current guild leader is a woman. Does a great job and I respect her.

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by Shaakglith12194 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

All that being said, if games had a playerbase that was mostly female, it would all be flipped around. Some dudes would play on their sex for advantage and others would just try to be good players. My current guild leader is a woman. Does a great job and I respect her.

I have a hard time envisioning this. There are men who pull this off in real life, but it's not nearly as common, and I think it's accurate to draw a parallel between RL and MMOs in this one scenario. It simply isn't a cultural norm for women to pursue the affections of men through worldly possessions or monetary gifts. Some women do, but not enough to for the trend to be as prominent as it is in the mostly male player base.

This also brings up something that has only been hinted at indirectly in this discussion. There are women like the one you mentioned who use their sex to their advantage. But, there are also a lot of men who just compulsively throw items at women. Probably even more of the latter than the former. So far some of the women in this conversation have insisted that they refuse to take these offers, but why? Because the women who do take the offers, like any rational human being -- I'm not going to turn down free upgrades -- portray the image of exploiting their sex.

I'd also like to point out I'm not trying to white-knight this shit. This topic is simply interesting: I admit I get frustrated when I see low level female characters getting decked out by strangers. I've had one occurrence of getting hooked up by a stranger on p99. Interestingly enough, it was from a female character that I suspect to be played by an actual female.

[blondeattk]

Am male and since starting rpg in 1985, have mostly played female chars. NOt that i was good at role playing `the female mind`.....what does a teenager know about that anyway ?:P Might have a clue about that now, but I dont really roleplay that much on EQ.....cos this game is `hackNslash` rpg not proper roleplay anyway....../ducks

imo the models are better for most females of the races. except trolls and gnomes.....maybe iksar?

Never been interested in the high end raiding game, so dont see it as a relevant question(can girls compete?) imo thats nothing to do with sex its about mentality. Depends how important VR is to you vs real life.

[Swish]

Kind of wished I hadn't made my rogue a half elf female. While most people in my guild knew who I was from these forums when I applied, a few obviously didn't...and there were a couple of interesting "advances" made by some of the guys in the guild when I first met them.

All I'll say is that's not my style, and if you're keen to flirt with the girls in the game then you should at least find out if they're actually a girl first [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] No harm done, they know now.

Probably my first/last female character on P99 though.

[knix]

When i was in my first p99 guild with another half elf female druid we are/were the only two on the sever. I often tried to engage her in feminine banter, and kept falling flat. Nice polite and friendly but, felt flat, i thought she didn't like me.

I finally had to ask her one day, Turns out she was being played by a guy, great guy. From then on I assumed that all females were played by men (but i wanted them all to be female, cause i wanted more women playing). Ran into him again while exploring Velious the other night. It was tons of fun discovering the new land with my twin druid. It was kind of like discovering something from your EQ past with someone from your p99 past.

[Rhambuk]

since when can people tell what sex you are by your avatar? or do you mean in game sex in which case i don't think it matters.

if its a problem you don't have to tell every person you meet, hi im a woman irl.

[cries4hardcore]

Hmmmm. Time to be an asshole. So female gamers don't like men treating them specially in game like men do to attractive women in rl? I'm sure most female gamers are not, frankly, particularly attractive(nor are most male gamers). Having said that, to women who have had creepy experiences. You have to realize, to make players who are hardcore and pretty much never step outside, you are the only thing close to female interaction for them. It should be pretty expected that they will form crushes and that some will be creepy and obsessive because, even if some gamers have generally matured, most tend to be sexually retarded.

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by cries4hardcore [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Hmmmm. Time to be an asshole. So female gamers don't like men treating them specially in game like men do to attractive women in rl? I'm sure most female gamers are not, frankly, particularly attractive(nor are most male gamers). Having said that, to women who have had creepy experiences. You have to realize, to make players who are hardcore and pretty much never step outside, you are the only thing close to female interaction for them. It should be pretty expected that they will form crushes and that some will be creepy and obsessive because, even if some gamers have generally matured, most tend to be sexually retarded.

I was thinking about this earlier. Obviously a socially inept, needy male isn't going to do well in attracting women in any situation. However, men are primarily expected to initiate dialogue with women: it's an observable cultural norm that spans nearly all walks of life. For a lot of male gamers the MMO scene serves the same purpose as a bar, library, park or work environment in as far as finding a potential partner goes.

I don't think the claim that EQ is a game, and therefore you should only be here to play, has any validity. If this were the case then the same would apply to the above environments that I listed. Aren't these the places single adults are supposed to meet one another? Does it seem irrational to seek out a potential partner with shared interests?

It just seems narrow minded to be offended by the fact that men will show interest in women who game. It's like the holy grail for a lot of guys. Finding a woman who tolerates your considerable dedication to a digital world is hard enough: finding one that wants to share it is priceless. I've had a few friends who have met their significant others over MMOs. One of those couples even met on live.

Some men are going to be bad at picking up women. Figure out how to bust their balls enough so that they leave you alone. Sounds unfair? Men have the unfair assignment of having to go out of their way to approach and impress women while risking humiliation. Some women go to the beach just to surf, others go to bars just to drink: if you're here just to game then you'll have to figure out avoid unwanted attention just like they do.

I really like how Aj put it:

Originally Posted by Ajkuhuun [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

...if it was some hot guy and not some comicon nerd coming up to flirt with you, you wouldn't have a problem with it, so cut the bullshit...

Even if it's slightly out of context, it still applies.

[Sidelle]

Originally Posted by JPMorgan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I was thinking about this earlier. Obviously a socially inept, needy male isn't going to do well in attracting women in any situation. However, men are primarily expected to initiate dialogue with women: it's an observable cultural norm that spans nearly all walks of life. For a lot of male gamers the MMO scene serves the same purpose as a bar, library, park or work environment in as far as finding a potential partner goes.

I don't think the claim that EQ is a game, and therefore you should only be here to play, has any validity. If this were the case then the same would apply to the above environments that I listed. Aren't these the places single adults are supposed to meet one another? Does it seem irrational to seek out a potential partner with shared interests?

It just seems narrow minded to be offended by the fact that men will show interest in women who game. It's like the holy grail for a lot of guys. Finding a woman who tolerates your considerable dedication to a digital world is hard enough: finding one that wants to share it is priceless. I've had a few friends who have met their significant others over MMOs. One of those couples even met on live.

Some men are going to be bad at picking up women. Figure out how to bust their balls enough so that they leave you alone. Sounds unfair? Men have the unfair assignment of having to go out of their way to approach and impress women while risking humiliation. Some women go to the beach just to surf, others go to bars just to drink: if you're here just to game then you'll have to figure out avoid unwanted attention just like they do.

I really like how Aj put it:



Even if it's slightly out of context, it still applies.

In my opinion the vast majority of males here are not seriously looking to hook up irl with girls they meet in EQ. It seems silly and unfair to just assume they all want to do that. Do some of them try? Uh... Yep... but I think it's pretty rare to come across those types in game.

I've met some really cool people since I started here, guys and girls alike, who sincerely just enjoy playing the game and aren't out there looking to hook up with anyone. Though I will say this: there is some flirting that happens sometimes when guys and girls hang out together, but I pretty much view that as innocent fun and I don't take it seriously and don't think most other people do either. Same goes for real life. You throw some boys and girls together whether it's at work, school, whatever - there is gonna be some (mostly innocent) flirting.

The forums are a different story, RnF in particular... This is where the creepy/pervy stuff happens. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] Some of it's pretty cringeworthy but I don't take much of it seriously either.

P.S. It would be interesting if there were some statistics out there stating just how many people hook up for real in this game. It has been known to happen, that's for sure...