Why are there no livestock in Everquest?

[maskedmelon]

Originally Posted by pathius41 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

but where did the milk come from?!

Ordinarily milk comes from mammaries. Halas is renown throughout Norath for its milk exports thanks to special adaptations Barbarians have undergone as a result of their frigid environment. Normally, females only lactate following pregnancy and while reading young. The barbarian women are different though. You see, the north is so cold that absent regular motion, fluids freeze within seconds! This could be disastrous for milk ducts which could rupture under pressure from frozen milk :c Barbarian women have developed "leaky flow regulators" that ensure the milk is in content motion and thereby decreasing the likelihood of a frozen duct and the resulting inability to feed their future children.

Of course modern wools and downs have largely eliminated this problem, but they've not removed the Barabarians' unique adaptation. This is why Barbarian women look so well endowed and also is why they so tightly bind that endowment. They are perpetually engorged and the binding is the only way to halt the flow. Of course they will continue to produce milk and so must expel it regularly and rather than waste it have established a profitable business by promoting the nutritious value of milk for all.

The other source of milk in Norrath is somewhat less wholesome. It was the year 3644 when Bizzlebun Gnoglefont a Tinkerer of Dark Reflection, first identified an alternative source of milk using a high-walled olive press, a set of rudimentary alchemy vials and a bit of Minotaur elbow grease.

Bizzlebun had been working tirelessly on his thesis Uses for the Useless: Applications for the Lesser Races of Norrath and had hit a wall. Within his laboratory and even without, had suffered the spite and ineffective reprisal of his ungrateful subjects for years, even sacrificing much of his hearing to their insolent cries, but in the end he had prevailed. He had brought purpose to their otherwise meaningless lives whether or not they understood or appareciated his efforts. His great work spare none. All shit races were afforded at a minimu 3 uses that Bizzlebun had identified himself. Some were perhaps more praiseworthy than others and some easier to exact than others, but all were given purpose in one form or s other... All, except one.

It had been a source of great frustration for Bizzlebun throughout the years. Setback after setback it seemed one race was beyond all doubts, utterly useless. Bizzlebun refused to acknowledge that there could really be a thing with no use and so he returned periodically to study the nature and attempt to formulate uses for this particular races as his research on others advanced with admirable consistency.

One da Natter a particularly grueling research session, Bizzlebun snapped. His head was pounding from the ungrateful cries of a family of these creatures, each stubbornly refusing to yield to the noble purpose he had identified for them. Bizzlebun was tired. He was exhausted. He sighed as the last of the creatures slandered his name, his good works and even his mother. And that's when it happened. He did t care anymore. He was through with these things. They really were useless! Bizzlebun stalked toward the creature, it's mean face towering far overhead as he approached. He would destroy it!

He reached up with his little skull-tipped rod and poked the thing in the chest, causing it to stumble. It's legs were caught by the low wall of an old high-walled olive press and it came crashing down into the center. Bizzlebun's face twisted in frustration as he kicked a lever next to the press releasing the stone from above. It came crashing down, pinching off the things legs and splattering Bizzlebun in the process.

Bizzlebun was furious. Not only had the thing refuse purpose, it had caused him to make a mess of his laboratory and and sullied his fine clothes. Blood would not be easily cleansed from his white silk robes. He wiped his face and was about to shake the blood from his fat little fingers when he realized that there was something odd about it. He glanced to the press, back to his hand and sniffed the air. He rubbed the substance pale runny fluid together between his fingers and gave them a lick. A wry smile spread across his haggard little face. MILK! He had done it! When subjected to sudden pressure of extraordinary magnitude, milk could be extracted from these almost useless creatures. Bizzlebun's life ambition was finally realized: high elves had a use after all.

[tobolamr]

Skarlorn ftw!

[fadetree]

They were already worried about bandwidth. Why waste it on non-pve stuff when there were times they could barely handle the player load?

[Ivory]

What do you think giant rats and snakes and bats are?

In fact, new people to the world are put to work by the cities farming these creatures and harvesting their resources to sell to merchants for a couple copper.

[Trungep99]

Well ogres and trolls eat live stock dwarves . That's about all they are good for

[Izmael]

You don't really wanna know.

[this user was banned]

OP secretly wants to fuck digital sheep

[Nekkojakk]

Same reason there are non of the typical harmless varmint critter that you see cluttering up modern MMOs. It was a waste human resources to design them when they had bigger things to worry about and it was a waste of system resources to render them. Just added crap to load everytime you zone and it already took forever back in the day.

[Rader]

Where is this pile of sh!t in Freeport? Never seen it and have run all over that place a gazillion times

[Sorn]

Originally Posted by Rader [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Where is this pile of sh!t in Freeport? Never seen it and have run all over that place a gazillion times

Near the monk guild in WFP. It's still there on live in the revamped FP, too...they added steam to it. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]