Win a Fungi Tunic

[Kanded]

This is pretty cool, lemme give it a go.

So we all go through the "playing with fire" phase as a kid, right? Not just me? So when I was younger, I did in fact have this issue.

It all began at my grandmother's house, her fireplace in fact, she asked me to go start a fire up. It was EZ-lite logs and paper. Woosh! Flame on! Obsession on! After starting that fire, I figured I would hold onto that lighter just in case she needed me to start another one... Riiiight. So I go home later and immediately go to my room and look for things to burn. But where am I going to burn things? I can't do it in here, there is a smoke detector. My room opened up to our deck in the back yard so I figured if I was quiet enough opening the door, no big deal! So I grab an empty peanut canister that held random junk in it and went out and filled it with random flamable materials and lit it up! Woosh! So awesome.

I continued with this tradition for about a month or so with only a couple of close calls. Questions of smelling something burning and such. "Nah, I don't smell anything." They would never find my burning can either, it was hidden in my closet amongst some baseball card boxes. No worries!

So at this point it's getting pretty bad, I couldn't not burn stuff. Im getting braver and taking my burn can to my grandma's house where I spend a bunch of time. I found a hiding spot for my burn can there too. Under the guest bed tucked in the frame. I'm a genius!

So at my grandma's house I decide, screw the can, I'm outside, let's find something. I'm on her deck looking for targets. Target acquired! Dried plants that my grandma has for decoration. I'll just burn one of those little pieces!

WRONG!

The damn thing went up in a huge flash of light and not only was it quick but the whole bush! But most unsettling was the fact that not only was the dried plant in fire, but the wall of her house! I'm scrambling! Water! Water! I need water! I found her plant watering pitcher and quickly went to the hose, filled it up and started dousing the flames. I made about 3 or 4 of these trips. Completely terrified of course.

I got the fire out. Nobody came out. No alarms. Nothing. Phew. So I go inside, grab a glass of water and sit down trying to think of how to explain the burn marks going up the side of grandma's house. But before I can think of anyhing my mom shows up and asks how I'm doing. "Fine" I said. She comes up to me, grabs my face with eyes huuuuge enough to see through me. "What happened to your eyebrows?!?!?!"

What? My eyebrows?? What do you mean my eye......... Ohhhhh shit.

"You smell like smoke"
"What were you doing outside"
"Come outside!"
"What the f#!$ did you do?"

Busted. The worst part is I tried to lie about it, thought it was working too. Even with my singed off eyebrows! But then they found my burn can...

So yeah, no eyebrows, burn can in hand, scorched wall, I was done.

Aside from the lecture, I got my ass whooped. Then made to do 2000 sentences. "I will not play with or start fires." Plus they thought I needed Jesus and made me go to church.

Pretty funny in hindsight. Glad I didn't burn down grandma's house though! However, whenever I go camping I always have the same thought when I go to make the camp fire... I will not play with or start fires.

[Alanus]

Freshman year of high school, me and a kid got into a fight over a girl. Anyway, I made him bleed and got some of his blood on my pants, right on the crotch.

So all day at school people made period jokes. I am a male.

[Erati]

you did an entire contest to get me to type out my poop story on server chat?

[Fifield]

Originally Posted by Erati [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

you did an entire contest to get me to type out my poop story on server chat?

lmao bro, I was actually going to post something in the OP about your poop story but I didn't want to put you under the bus. There are already a few good ones I might need help deciding and might consult the Runningwolf.

This is great, keep them coming. If you think that I am joking when I say I won't give away a Fungi your crazy and just going to miss out if you don't post =D

To help any of you that are considering posting but are shy. I'll throw one out there so you don't feel so dumb.

Probably 16, at my gf's house at the time. Her parents got home so I quickly tuck my boner up in in my waistband because of course I have a boner, girl holds my hand at 16 its happening. I go talk to the parents when they get home not realizing that my shirt had come up and the tip of my penis is exposed out of my pants the entire time im talking to them.... They did not mention anything to this day but i know damn well they saw it.

[Zaejii]

I'm embarrassed that I don't think I could top any of the stories already told here.

Or maybe I shouldn't be? #IllNeverWin [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Kagey]

wtf who on this server doesnt have a level 60 main? these rules are bogus.

[wharfrat70]

Me - I just started in March [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[wharfrat70]

"When I was first married and still getting used to having dogs in the house" <- not nice to talk about your wife like this, Wenastik [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[ronasch]

Pokesan wanted me to post his story for him.

"I once tried to achieve an anal orgasm with a fire hydrant. Not only did my yoga pants get ruined butt also received 12 stitches in my rectal cavity."

Originally Posted by Pokesan

[xexbis0]

Originally Posted by Fifield [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Title says it all, your chance to win a Fungi Tunic.

With the Uthgard DAOC server around the corner, snow melted finally in Canada its riding season, getting married soon, Game of Thrones on this Sunday, so much good stuff I am feeling generous and looking to give back to this server for all the fun its given me.

Some of the best times and stories came out of bullshitting in TS while tracking mobs cause were all bored and just killing time. You end up logging in not cause of the game, but because your guildies are fun to be around. That being said a whole shit load of embarrassing stories were told. Which made me think of this little contest.

Heres how this will work:
You simply post with an embarrassing story about yourself that happened to you in real life.(maybe in game? i unno) I know you guys got some good ones. Lets try and not embellish these stories too much cause if I smell bullshit I will just disregard your post.

Some rules:
You must not use an anonymous forum account.
You must not already be lvl 60 and can easily acquire a fungi yourself.
If I can't choose a winner cause there are 2-3 that are all equally funny, I'll just sell the fungi and give cash prizes.
I will give it about a week or so before choosing a winner.


I cant really police who will win this, all I can do is ask that any of you like myself who have played on this server for awhile now, pls don't participate, lets leave this for the new guys who could really use this as a chance to get themselves some good gear or have fun leveling a melee alt they otherwise couldn't afford to buy a fungi for.

Good luck!

That's BS fifield you already got me to get the cock off my chest without a prize! You suck sir!

But gratz to the newbie with the emburrising stury.