Making time to play?

[loramin]

Originally Posted by Mycota648 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

My girlfriend isnt a bad person. She just gets upset when I play video games because I literally zone everything else out. She will talk to me and I wont even hear her. So essentially she feels like I am ignoring her, and in reality I am.

I think a major issue is that I work way more than her. She gets a few hours on each side of my shifts to herself. When I leave in the morning she is there and when I get home at night she is there. Not that this upsets me, i love being around her. I just dont think she realizes how much a hour or two to yourself can really help you have fun, destress, etc... She probably has never thought that I never get that. I will probably have a talk with her about this.

I don't care if you like model trains, running marathons, or playing 16-year old elf sims: your girlfriend may not be a bad person, but if she can't give you the time/space to enjoy whatever your hobby is then there's something unhealthy about the relationship.

This was a bit of an issue when my wife and I first started dating, because she (along with many women in our society) sort of thought that co-dependency = healthy relationship. Once she learned/felt secure enough in the fact that we would still spend time together, she relaxed and stopped being offended when I wanted to spend time on my hobbies.

Now it's to the point where unless Game of Thrones is on (or some other show we watch together) I just play EQ without even thinking about her. And likewise she just watches terrible terrible reality TV shows (with headphones, thank god) without worrying about me. So I think talking to your GF is an excellent idea, and hopefully it helps you two get to the kind of relationship my wife and I have.


P.S. And oh yeah, get a new job. I'm actually a programmer at a genetic screening software company, and we have several bio PhDs on staff. Of course they have doctorates, not undergraduate degrees, and a lot of them learned to program on the side, but the point is they're bio people working in a non-lab environment. It's a big world out there, and if you look I strongly suspect you have career options that don't involve crappy pay and excessive hours in a laboratory.

[Sorn]

Originally Posted by Tenlaar [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Yeah, no. If you can't play EQ for a few hours here and there during the week because your significant other doesn't like it (AKA doesn't allow it), your significant other sucks and is a bad person to be in a relationship with.

If you're in an abusive relationship where the partner is controlling every second of your time, isolating you from your friends, belittling you constantly so you don't think you can do anything, etc, then obviously you have bigger problems than getting more playtime on P99. (If you're in this situation, get help and get out!)

But that kind of goes without saying and it is definitely not the situation most people talk about around here. I just don't think telling someone to dump their partner just to play EQ is good advice. In fact, I would even go so far as to say this is terrible advice. EQ is fun, but it's not worth social isolation IRL.

Of course, the real advice is that work, relationships, and maintaining one's health takes precedence over P99 and if you have no time to play and no way to fix that, then don't play. That's reality. You can only derive extra free time in a tight schedule if you cut into sleeping time (as mentioned by other posters here). Given that lack of sleep is actually extremely dangerous and too many people are sleep-deprived while on the road already, I reeeeally don't think it's a good idea.

Just my 2cp. :P

Edit: I think loramin is right. Talk to your girlfriend, OP, and start looking for a better job! Doing nothing but working for low pay sucks, especially if you don't even like your job.

[Feanoir]

The posters saying find a new job or dump the lady are just plain absurd. The reality is that once you have a career, a relationship, and a life it's pretty much impossible to play as a hard core raider. If you love or even just plain like your job, you are ahead of most people, and really shouldn't bail to play a video game.

Relationships take effort and if you work 80 hours per week you have to spend most of that precious free time with the lady so that she doesn't feel neglected. I work an average of 80 hours a week. I'm a doctor, and I love it, but an unfortunate consequence of having a great job I love is that I know I will simply not have the time to join a raid guild. After 6 or so years I don't even have a level 50 character yet, but I still enjoy the hell out of this game.

Explain to the girl that you need a few hours a week to yourself and enjoy EQ when time permits. I make time by getting up early on the one or two days off a week, and play until the rest of the house wakes up. The benefit of a super populated server is that great groups are still to be found at 6 AM EST. Explain that it's akin to going out once a week to play poker with the guys, except instead of poker it's a 15 year old video game. She will be cool with it if you don't let it become all you do when you aren't at work- everyone needs some time for their hobbies no matter how hectic life gets. The above advice is pretty solid though, If you can find some awesome couple stuff to do on a day off you can probably score a few extra hours to play eq after you guys get back from a farmers market and yoga class.

If that wall of text is all TL;DR there is time, just not a lot. Enjoy eq at a snail's pace. Expect your grouping pals to out level you. You probably wont get the first AoW kill once velious drops, but you can enjoy this game as a past time while actually enjoying real life.

[Lojik]

First world problems

[Troxx]

Originally Posted by Mycota648 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I just dont think she realizes how much a hour or two to yourself can really help you have fun, destress, etc... She probably has never thought that I never get that. I will probably have a talk with her about this.

Ain't that the truth.

My wife is a stay at home mom now. I work long hours so that she doesn't have to work, and I know for a fact she doesn't really appreciate the above statement at times. Being a home-maker is a 24/7 job, but it's less intense at any given point in time and you have moments during the day to yourself (kids taking naps, oldest at kindergarten etc).

An hour to yourself (or more) on a regular basis is clutch.

[Troxx]

Originally Posted by Feanoir [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I'm a doctor, and I love it, but an unfortunate consequence of having a great job I love is that I know I will simply not have the time to join a raid guild.

Specialty?

Pediatrician here :P

My love for video games shows itself in my choice of career heh.

[Deadmantis]

Originally Posted by Mycota648 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I have a BA in Biology which i have discovered is basically useless only landing me the crappy paying lab tech job I have now.

If you're in the Philadelphia area the company I work for is currently hiring a lab tech with a pretty sweet schedule. 12 hr shifts, you work 14 days out of the month, and you get 7 days off in a row. Gives you plenty of free time for gaming and keeping the woman happy. Plus the pay is actually pretty good.

https://careers-ashland.icims.com/jo...hland-inc./job

[Rararboker]

It is funny when people can't detect satire/sarcasm.

[iruinedyourday]

Its simple, you gotta cut it all the way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stn8JKp5zAY

[B4EQWASCOOL]

Originally Posted by loramin [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I don't care if you like model trains, running marathons, or playing 16-year old elf sims: your girlfriend may not be a bad person, but if she can't give you the time/space to enjoy whatever your hobby is then there's something unhealthy about the relationship.

Your time, my time, us time.

Communication helps.