The Chronicles of Smarmia: ***OFFICIAL***-S.o.R.P. YT Tracking

[Big_Japan]

On behalf o the Imperial Church of the Retarded God, I would like to nominate both maskedmelon and captnamazing for one (1) FKP (forum kill point) point per person for the two aforementioned posts, which have shattered my tiny world and plunged me into a cosmos of Retardation more expansive than my petty mind could ever have dreamed on its own.

[maskedmelon]

Such selfless pursuit of undying truths, nary more praiseworthy a post hath graced these hallowed boards. I am honored by our dear Pope's words and second his nomination of Filbus, He who saw the Retarded God, Wielder of the Blind Insult, Lord of the Tummy, The Great Mystic & Yogic Caliph.

Let not our people squander their minds unraveling each perplexing thread of the great tapestry of profound truths, glimpsed only by our dear Prophet. And let not be forgotten the sacrifice of our dear Pope in selfless devotion, the dissolution of his former post Chief Talmudian Scholar, and the birth of the Imperial Church of Retardation humbly delivered to unto the people from the clammy womb of divine inspiration whence it was conceived.

Let no man tarry in the misty quagmire of divine command. Nay, let him take solace in the indisputable validity if our Dear Pope's selfless work as sole interpreter of The Prophet, He who saw the Retarded God.

Indeed I am stirred by our Dear Pope's great acts of selflessness. I too hear the call to greater servitude and cannot in good conscience deny the good people of our Great Society their inalienable right to clear direction, free from detestable accountability inherent of choice.

There are those who would seek to destroy us, our great works and the Noble Truths, subverters and perverters deniers of right. It is in response to that threat, I dutifully take up a new mantle, that our Dear Pope might be shielded from the aggression of lesser men and that the people of our Great Society might rest peacefully in their beds.

As Grand Moff Shogun of the Peoples Imperial Army, Society of Retarded Posters, I do solemnly swear to uphold the virtues of Retarded Posting and defend to no end, the good people of our Great Society.

May the dark specter of ignoble pursuits break upon the divine bulwark of Retardation and be duly smitten by the iron fist of Great Justice!

[captnamazing]

Henceforth let the records show that I, Filbus, Who Saw the Retarded God, Wielder of the Blind Insult, Lord of the Tummy, the Great Mystic & Yogic Caliph, second the visionary motion of our Pope of the Imperial Church of Retardation, Big_Japan. May maskedmelon bathe in FKP for eternity, yea, until the very foundations of the Forums tremble.

With the adjudication of this merry affair, I must now draw our attention to Graver Portents.

Big_Japan, whose transliteration of the Divine Word which spews from my mouth wanton and unchecked, brings the Grace of the Retarded God to Radiant Creed, mires in stagnation and faces the threat of FKP starvation. For such a noble and selfless Priest of our Holy Order, this is unacceptable.

I have received direct communique from the Retarded God Hermself, to motion that Big_japan, Pope, Imperial Church of the Retarded God, Society of Retarded Posters
Reformed racist and forum Prefect of Matters of Racial Equity, receive a glowing FKP.

For he has taken upon his Reformed shoulders a burden of Terrible weight, and he shall need all blessings of the SoRP to keep him strong in his coming trials.

tits or gtfo

[Filthy_Pagan]

Originally Posted by Big_Japan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

On behalf o the Imperial Church of the Retarded God, I would like to nominate both maskedmelon and captnamazing for one (1) FKP (forum kill point) point per person for the two aforementioned posts, which have shattered my tiny world and plunged me into a cosmos of Retardation more expansive than my petty mind could ever have dreamed on its own.

I second this motion. Let it be so that on this day, the Twenty-third day of the twelfth month of the year two thousand and fifteen of our Lord the Retarded God, that Maskedmelon and Captnamazing be granted one (1) FKP (Forum Kill Point) each.

[Kekephee]

Originally Posted by Filthy_Pagan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

On the twenty-third day of the month of September
in an early year of a decade not too long before our own,
the human race suddenly encountered a deadly
threat to its very existence.
And this terrifying enemy surfaced,
as such enemies often do,
in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.


[b]LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS BOP SHOO WOP

[Pokesan]

Here follow the considerations of this council, being chaired by Treasury Secretary Pokesan, Number #1 Forum Arsonist.

Originally Posted by Big_Japan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

On behalf o the Imperial Church of the Retarded God, I would like to nominate both maskedmelon and captnamazing for one (1) FKP (forum kill point) point per person for the two aforementioned posts, which have shattered my tiny world and plunged me into a cosmos of Retardation more expansive than my petty mind could ever have dreamed on its own.

His Holiness, Pope Big Japan of the Society of Retarded Posters has proposed the issuance of FKP to two individuals committing posts of massive retardation. Let us examine the weight and measure of their writings.

Originally Posted by maskedmelon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Too long has the Ivory Throne of Luna's Sea sat cold and vacant, the warmth of living flesh and seething flame of power all but forgotten to her empty sear and high back. Too long have our people suffered leaderless in the fickle shadows of uncertainty and perverse liberties, amok the ways that are right and good. For shame! Too long in the black crevices of decorum and protocol have wrongdoers schemed in dark ambition!*

TOO LONG have the wicked wrought ruin upon the fields of our people, lost and leaderless beneath the dark pall of abandonment.

Too long have our people endured no rule.

Too long.


Your bold claim comes as a breath of fresh air in the growing stench of foul things. Our esteemed Society, found of ambition and virtuous intent sought to right the wrongs, the degeneracy and stagnation in mortal combat with good works. Devoid explicit leadership, in collaborative spirit we have won gains, great and small and all manners between.

Let not our success in the shifting face of adversity occlude *our profound longing for consolidated authority. Your claim is sorely desired.

As Adjudicator of Indecision and Orator of Superfluous Nothings and Chronicler and Archivist of our Great Society of Retarded Posters, and Prophet of Naught, it is incumbent upon me to query an y such claimant on matters of law and lore and faith, such that fraudulent claims might be known to all who lay eyes upon them and that the unholy wrath might befall he who dares make mockery of our Eminence in Absence, Supreme Leader & Caliph.

Tell us. Pray do not disappoint.

The Honorable Adjudicator, Orator of Superfluous Nothings, Chronicler and Archivist of our Society, maskedmelon, has demonstrated great belief and fastness to our Holy Cause. Retardation alone is not enough to bring forth the Cleansing Fire this unholy den of serious posters need. Care should be taken in ceding too much power to one so new, but his vividity of belief is refreshing. I will not name him the Chosen One just yet, that is for the Stones to tell. For now, Cast aside your fears and bask in the Umbra of Our Retarded God!

It is the judgment of this body that maskedmelon shall be awarded (1) Forum Kill Point! Praise be to all the faithful of our faith!

Originally Posted by captnamazing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I make great nod to your Query, maskedmelon, with whom I have danced upon the tips of waves with flaming word.

The Truth became when I posted the thread: sorp = sheep. This post boosted my Retardation to great levels, unknown formerly to myself. The blinders, shredded from my sight, lifted my spirit up into the Great Halls where gods roam. And there I sat, face to face, with the Retarded God.

"God," Said I, "where can it be, this land of Intelligent Poster?"
(for in my Lunacy, yet I craved a Board of Order & Wisdom without Petulance)
"Over the Mountains of the Firegiant,
Down the Valley of Succ Me,
Post, boldly Post," the God replied
"if you seek for retardation."

And with his final word a duck quacked and smote me as with wet clay upon my tummy region. I returned to my body and had Great Vision and became recognized by all present as the Caliph and Great Mystic of our Ancient and Venerable Order. Also I am the Lord of Tummy.

But I have cast aside the title of Supreme Dictator, until the time comes, when we must face the One Enemy. Only then will I reforge the Title and unite all Posters under the Flags of Retardation to do great battle with the Dark Lord of Witless & Serious Posters, Chest Rockwell.

Our newest Retarded friend has clearly been seared by the flames of a Holy Vision of the Retarded Spirit! His vigor in belief cannot be questioned, his scribings warrant consideration for monument. He is newly among us and speaks with the power of faith I cannot describe in myself. This is a truly retarded individual - we will need many more like him if we are to defeat Chest and his allies.

Let it be known here, in the Umbra of Flames; The Dread Catman, captnamazing, Who has Seen the Retarded God, Wielder of the Blind Insult, Lord of the Tummy and Great Mystic Yogic Caliph - has been awarded (1) Forum Kill Point!

Originally Posted by Filthy_Pagan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I second this motion. Let it be so that on this day, the Twenty-third day of the twelfth month of the year two thousand and fifteen of our Lord the Retarded God, that Maskedmelon and Captnamazing be granted one (1) FKP (Forum Kill Point) each.

Acknowledged administratively, that none may question the justice of our Society.

[Kekephee]

I just YT'd myself with a formatting failure. Consider this my nonbeliever's offering of acknowledgment and respect, a self-flagellation to prove that though I am not with you folks, I am not against you

[Filthy_Pagan]

Originally Posted by Kekephee [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I just YT'd myself with a formatting failure. Consider this my nonbeliever's offering of acknowledgment and respect, a self-flagellation to prove that though I am not with you folks, I am not against you

[maskedmelon]

Originally Posted by Kekephee [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I just YT'd myself with a formatting failure. Consider this my nonbeliever's offering of acknowledgment and respect, a self-flagellation to prove that though I am not with you folks, I am not against you

Good friendly Infidel, your kind words are well received.

I second this man's self nomination for 1 whole and unspoiled FKP.

[captnamazing]

Thou deignest to bequeath unto the heathen Infidel 1 whole and unspoiled FKP?

Hath thou smoked the herb of halflings, Grand Moff Shogun of the People's Imperial Army, Adjudicator of Indecision & Orator of Superfluous Nothings, our Chronicler & Archivist?

Thy words hath smote my chest and I fear my heart hath broken to consider rewarding 1 WHOLE AND UNSPOILED FKP to an untitled infidel.

Indeed, my heart now reels and along the greater part of it there lies a vast crack not unlike the Liberty Bell after Swish sat on it, before his expulsion from the Faire Land of America.

I do NOT second this motion!