When I made my first character on red I announced in ooc that I was a brand new player to the server. Nirgon and Colgate instantaneously appeared before me, they forced pixels onto my person and led me around as they slayed dragon after dragon. They began to fellate each other as they rubbed gold on their nipples. "You have to watch this. This is what the zerg is all about" they told me. I watched through my tears as they the traveled the land and gathered superior and totally not fair numbers in order to win pvp by default. Lite and Ragnaros kept trying to get them to fight them straight up 1v1, but Colgate and Nirgon just laughed as they stood on the shoulders of their mindless zerg drones and ran away to the nearest zoneline.
Finally after what must have been several days I was presented with a small Halfling child and told that I must appease the zerg. The child couldn't have been more than 8 years old and obviously malnourished. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days. I was handed a Ragebringer and told to spill her blood. "The zerg requires blood" they said.
"Why can't you just kill Azrael members and take their blood?" I asked them.
"Don't tell anyone this. Like ever!" Nirgon whispered. "We have never actually killed an Azrael member in pvp."
Colgate lowered his head in shame. Nirgon looked to the sky as a tear rolled off his cheek.
I knew this was my chance. I subtly reached onto one of the guild bank shelves and threw a piece of dragon lewt as far as I could. Colgate ran after the lewt, as I knew he would. I spun around and stuck the Ragebringer into Nirgons thigh. He plugged, just as I had predicted.
I cut the bonds on the Halfling prisoner's wrists and ankles and we fled. We must have zoned eight times, calling LNS every time. But, of course, the zerg didn't care. They pursued at the behest of their demented overlords. We ended up hiding under the South Karana bridge as the thousands of zerglings stampeded overhead. The Halfling child trembled with fear. "Its ok" I told her, "they're gone. They're gone."
After several days of walking along the river bank and dodging bandits looming to start trouble, we found a little farm in Western Karana. I've been raising the Halfling child as my own. Things have been looking up the last few weeks. It seems as if the zerg has their hands full with the uprising lately. They haven't paid much attention to little old West Karana lately. But I smell a foul wind blowing in. I know one day soon their attention will once again turn my way. I wont be able to lay low forever. That's why I train. Every day I train.
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01-19-2015, 01:28 AM
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