Why this game is awesome

[captnamazing]

My quest was to defeat Lord Bergurgle for the glory of the Vale. In Lake Rathe I levitated to the aviak tower and searched for the goblin lord. Speaking to a more informed "bird," I swiftly deduced that I needed to be elsewhere.

Soon I was on the mage island. But there wasn't a goblin in sight! I took out my swords and hollered, curses of the Vale echoing across the lake basin. It occurred to me to dive upon the bottom of the lake and discover if the goblins cleverly hid themselves in the depths.

I leaped into the water and the weight of my armor quickly sank me down, down. The pressure built in my head so I held my nose and blew to pop my ears. It's an old halfling trick.

There it was !! The cavern of the goblin lord! I struck out, clawing my way through the water in a full suit of plate armor.

My lungs began to burn as I swam through the cavern and arrived at their aquatic tower. But I heeded not the call for Oxygen. Instead, I unsheathed my blades and came upon them in a fury! The goblins had no defense against the speed and ferocity of my approach.

I drew out a whip and a knife for the last goblin at the base of the ladder. He struck swiftly through the water, and I pulled his hand away with the whip then punctured his potbelly with my knife.

As he squealed had his deathwiggle, I swam to the top of the tower. There he was - the Lord Bergurgle! I hacked his guards to pieces.
He stood before me, reciting the words to an ancient and terrible curse. But by the time his fallen guards sank, I attacked Bergurgle in a flash, kicking him between the legs and stunning him immediately! I cut off his right arm then grabbed him by the throat.

Bergurgle's eyes were red with terror. I punched him once in the mouth and then struck out towards the cavern exit, carrying Bergugle behind me. Some goblin teeth floated alongside me in the water as I swam away.

I exited the cavern, swimming with one hand and carrying Bergurgle's limp body in the other. My lungs were caving in my chest. My vision went black around the edges and stars popped before my eyes. The surface was so close.

The birds sang on the willows on the shore. I coughed out a bottle of water and then sat up. My armor will need cleaning after this, I thought with disgust.

There was Bergurgle. Crawling slowly back towards the water, mewling in a pool of his own blood.

I went after him. Planted a foot on his spine and stopped him cold. "I am Filbus!" I bayed like a wolf. "Are you a [friend] or a [foe] to the Vale?

After I killed him, I thought about his last words while I cleaned my blades. After I asked the Question, he cried and whined probably the only word in Halfling that he knew. "Mercy, mercy!"

I knew what he meant though. I wasn't going to let a [foe] take another breath.

tl;dr I became Beowulf