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#1
12-10-2015, 11:39 PM
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in the unlikely event that OP is not a lying asshole, I'd just like to remind everyone:
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#2
12-11-2015, 12:02 AM
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T'was x-mas morning in erudin palace - Gza woke up early so he could be the first one to swim in the pool before all his brothers came and farted in the water - tonite was gonna be alot presents and cheese pizzas, he wanted to be fresh for the occation. Well waddya know, method man and inspecta deck and raekwon was the first ones to come fart and ruin his swim. Gza went out to the courtyard to do some tai chi to get into a better mood, but to no use, there was rza and ghostface and cappadonna playing croquet on the grass. Angry being always the odd man out he went to complain to his parents, the king and queen of erudin. The king and co was in the kitchen eating breakfast, gza said its about time u showed me some attention here guys, make room for my genius! Ugod and odb and that bastard uncle all laffed out loud - we aint got no cheese pizza either! Gza was mad and ran up to his abode and yelled in pillow - i want my freedom dagnabbit! then he fell asleep. He woke alittle later groggy, smelling weird odours, fish - the sea? He stuck his head outa the window and lo behold - lizard monks doing tai chi and listening to rap music is everwhere! He yells out the window: good morning cabilis! Many years later he is known as grand master Glox!
The end | ||
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#3
12-11-2015, 01:27 AM
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A dull and pale light filtered by the canopy filled the Faydark grove with a shadowed morning. The moisture seeping from the branches to the forest floor filled the air with a thick damp air. Grelwin turned aside a matted greasy mat of hair from his face with no mind to its condition. Mutterings trailed away with his breath in the chilly air as he tended to a small cookfire. The wisps of smoke gathered in the air, a cloud shielding his view from outside the grove. With little care to his surroundings he prepared and drank a blend of roots and herbs to sooth his tired mind and body.
As the potion gave him renewed strength he became aware of the hour and his condition. Tattered clothing and dried blood stains riddled his belongings, reminders of his narrow escape through the mountain passes the night before. "Butcherblock Mountains...bah!" he grumbled irritably, wondering to himself if the name butcher fit better the goblins who dwelt in the passes or any who cut them down and made it through alive. "Were it not for business with the elves," he thought "I may have tarried and shown the goblins a few near-forgotten tricks from an old druid." With a raise of an eyebrow and a mumble under his breath, the fire was extinguished. Grelwin gathered his belongings and set off into the woods, following a narrow game trail barely visible in the morning gloom. His thoughts turned again to recent memories as he wound his way through the forest. "The Heartwood Master must be made aware! This message is of the greatest urgency!" declared Mayor Grubbin. Grelwin cursed his decision to stay at the Inn on his way through the Vale. He much preferred the company of things that walked on four legs to that of his kindred. "I care not of your news or your politics" Grelwin growled. The Mayor steeled his tone, "Then I command you as a Druid of the Vale, you are bound to deliver this message." Despite his disdain for the dealings of the city, Grelwin could not avoid his duty without risking exile. "I will take your message, and nothing more" he said. That was weeks ago, and as he neared his destination, a sense of foreboding filled him. Grelwin's thoughts betrayed his guard, and his daydream ended promptly with a cold metal sword blade pressed to his neck. Frozen in his step, he turned his head. A Tier'Dal sneered at him, his dark skin blending into the shadows of the path. Without hesitation, Grelwin focused his thoughts on the face, feeling with his mind the dark skin of the elf. The layers of skin on his face pulled tightly over muscles winding around vessels of blood that flowed black as the night sky. "The blood" he thought "will boil with the heat of the sun!" In an instant, the braches above moved to create an opening in the canopy. As the dark-skinned face bathed in the morning sun, the sneer turned to a choking gasp. Blood seeped from the pale eyes and the tight-lipped mouth formed a snarl, steam rising towards the opening above. In an instant, the Dark Elf was dead. "A Dark Elf in the Faydark," Grelwin thought as he hurried down the winding path, "that stuffy fat Mayor was right, Kelethin must be warned!"
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Grelwin, Grelroc, Grelfu, Greltwin
60 Halfling Druid 57 Iksar Shadowknight 60 Iksar Monk 20 Halfling Druid === OMNI === | ||
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#7
12-11-2015, 10:15 AM
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The cold Velious wind blasted against Aeiouuoiea's face as she waited, wishing for once that she was back in the Faydarks and enjoying some fishing next to Elia the Pure.
She'd learnt to stop counting the days on these expeditions, racing through endless blizzards to try and claim some new equipment for herself. The agony of being one of nine enchanters in the raiding party was apparent not just by the scowls on the other's faces when they weren't awarded an item but also by the fact that her last item dropped in Kunark. Indeed, as she grasped her snake stick she looked back fondly at her time in Moonlight Crusaders, a guild of true friends, people who felt they could tell a joke because it was funny and not because the loot distributor might notice them for it. As she casted SoS on a nearby member it was apparent that it had become muscle memory by now. Another blast of wind hit her and moved her a sideways couple of steps. Morale was certainly low, the raiding party's hunger for spoils was getting more craven and desperate. Would they be able to kill Derakor the Vindicator this time? Or would they hear the howls of victory coming from a different and smaller raiding party again? Time would tell. As they entered the valley towards Kael Drakkal the usual call of group order meant she was in group 18 and would be in the third wave to enter. It was clear by now that mystical forces prevented such a large army entering together, especially one as bloated as this one. When the call came, groups 15-21 zoned in...her heart raced. "Maybe today", she hoped. would our noble heroin Aeiouuoiea finally beat the odds and be awarded an item for the weeks and months that she'd been stuck on this icy continent? Stay tuned...
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#9
12-12-2015, 12:14 PM
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#10
12-14-2015, 01:23 AM
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Spyder has delivered and I now possess a Cloak of Flames!
Time to deliver on my promise Quote:
I earned my epic by posting in the Rants forum. My most precious pixel. It gave me a desire, a hunger, an irrepressible urge to collect all the gear I could, by any means necessary. And now its gotten me a CoF as well. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR | |||
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