Dating thread

[shovelquest]

Originally Posted by Botten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You know NopeNopeNope you may not know this but you are probably still looking in the sense of the traditional American way to find romance.

You've ruined your own lands, you'll not ruin mine!

Originally Posted by Botten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Seriously take a trip to the Philippine, Thailand or Japan. Be mindful of those that will fawn for you there.

Annnd there it is, sex tourism instead of finding a wife. You ruin lands.

[loramin]

Originally Posted by NopeNopeNopeNope [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I think the problem with a thread like this being dead is that too many men, including men here, have decided to throw in the towel for possibly the rest of their damn lives when it comes to the idea of a romantic relationship with another human. Not saying marriage, btw, not saying kids. Just some form of romance, even if it’s brief. Or anything more too

...

So I’m at work and can’t expand on this but I don’t think that kind of life will be as fulfilling as they think it will. Nor do I find any of the reasons I’ve heard for doing so compelling

Many nerds (EQ nerds, D&D nerds, Warhammer nerds, etc.) have social and/or mental issues, myself included. That shit can make you fail at relationships more than most people, which then can make you not want to even try ... but I think it's more that, not that people really want to be alone.

Personally, I consider myself very lucky: I have some personal shit, but I still managed to meet, date, and marry the love of my life (who loves the real/flawed me ... and is also pretty hot [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]).

My advice to any "nerds with baggage" is that you have to think of it as a numbers game. Yeah, maybe that cute coffee shop girl you ask out will say no. Maybe the next ten or twenty will ... but eventually you're going to see "You have gotten better at hitting on women (2)", and also eventually one of them will say yes.

Again, the one that says yes probably won't be the "love you for life despite all your flaws" match. But if you date her, fail, and go date some more people, eventually you'll get better at both entering and staying in a relationship, and ultimately you'll find companionship. You just have to grind out those skill increases!

[Ekco]

Originally Posted by loramin [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

which then can make you not want to even try ... but I think it's more that, not that people really want to be alone.

for the majority of nerds, 100%. idk the % but i have Counterdependency issues and dating someone who is codependent is legit dangerous, so even playing the numbers game isn't worth it due to the amount of single women who are codependent

some people really are better off alone.

[NopeNopeNopeNope]

Originally Posted by loramin [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Many nerds (EQ nerds, D&D nerds, Warhammer nerds, etc.) have social and/or mental issues, myself included. That shit can make you fail at relationships more than most people, which then can make you not want to even try ... but I think it's more that, not that people really want to be alone.

Personally, I consider myself very lucky: I have some personal shit, but I still managed to meet, date, and marry the love of my life (who loves the real/flawed me ... and is also pretty hot [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]).

My advice to any "nerds with baggage" is that you have to think of it as a numbers game. Yeah, maybe that cute coffee shop girl you ask out will say no. Maybe the next ten or twenty will ... but eventually you're going to see "You have gotten better at hitting on women (2)", and also eventually one of them will say yes.

Again, the one that says yes probably won't be the "love you for life despite all your flaws" match. But if you date her, fail, and go date some more people, eventually you'll get better at both entering and staying in a relationship, and ultimately you'll find companionship. You just have to grind out those skill increases!

Well said, sir. And good on you to offer yourself as an example

Yea when I hear things like “I have this mental issue and have decided to arrange my entire life around it” I’m always frustrated because some of these issues are possible to if not get over, than to at least mitigate somewhat, through various methods

But some people try a few things, claim they’ve “tried everything” and then design their entire life around avoiding their issues

A good analogy is the DnD scenario with the treasure and the dragon. The reason those fantasy stories are compelling is that it’s not just some pile of the treasure in a cave. The main character has to face the most difficult and terrifying thing they’ve ever faced, a freaking dragon, in order to get that treasure. The dragon being an effective metaphor for one’s issues and insecurities holding them back

There’s an old quote I like that says something like “that which you want most will be found where you least want to look”

[Ekco]

Originally Posted by NopeNopeNopeNope [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

A good analogy is the DnD scenario with the treasure and the dragon. The reason those fantasy stories are compelling is that it’s not just some pile of the treasure in a cave. The main character has to face the most difficult and terrifying thing they’ve ever faced, a freaking dragon, in order to get that treasure. The dragon being an effective metaphor for one’s issues and insecurities holding them back

There’s an old quote I like that says something like “that which you want most will be found where you least want to look”

my fav DnD dragon analogy quote

“Fairy tales are more than true – not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.”

[NopeNopeNopeNope]

Oh yea and Botten I don’t really travel but I could totally see meeting a girl abroad like Philippines or Thailand

Maybe one day but I am really not looking to settle down with anyone (and I worry that those girls might be). I am in my prime compared to how I was (own a home, best shape of my life, no real baggage) and am really just enjoying playing the field atm after a long hiatus

But yea, I would otherwise love to meet some girls abroad

[Jimjam]

Originally Posted by Roni Oren-Yagoda, Bar Oren, Idan M. Aderka, 2024

Safety behaviors are behaviors that aim to reduce unpleasant emotions, and/or reduce negative consequences. Despite the intention behind safety behaviors, they have been found to increase or maintain anxiety (especially in the long term).


This is a recent study in Safety behaviors and positive emotions in social anxiety disorder: it found when social anxiety was high, safety behaviors were negatively associated with positive emotions. It also found interacting with distant others (vs. close others) resulted in more safety behaviors.

[Ekco]

you're suppose to get paid by the father for taking his daughter off his hands, modern world has it ass backwards.

i want my two goats damnit.

[shovelquest]

"I would like to marry a christian woman"

"HOLY SHIT that is racist not to mention transphobic, have you thought about going to thailand to fuck kids?"

[NopeNopeNopeNope]

Originally Posted by shovelquest [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

"I would like to marry a christian woman"

"HOLY SHIT that is racist not to mention transphobic, have you thought about going to thailand to fuck kids?"

I can’t speak for Thailand, but here’s some interesting facts about Philippines:

“The Philippines is the largest exporter of nurses worldwide. For many decades, the country has consistently supplied nurses to the United States and Saudi Arabia”

A nurse average salary is around $86k here. So not all women in Philippines are poor and desperate

“English is widely spoken in the Philippines, with a large portion of the population being fluent in the language. It's one of the official languages of the country”