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  #1  
Old 07-03-2017, 11:48 AM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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God Loves Hobbits
  #2  
Old 07-03-2017, 12:31 PM
Lhancelot Lhancelot is offline
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God Loves Hobbits
Halflings are a plague. Bertoxxulous must be their god...
  #3  
Old 07-07-2017, 01:03 AM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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Default The Conquest of Neriak - Foreign Quarter

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Boiled taters, butter churned,
The gate we smashed like a gentle urn.

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X'nor, Tolax, Punox, Tempi.
These were the first to fall of their families.

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The Lords of Neriak from their tower called
And issued forth an Ogre wall.

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And with them came a man of rare skin
Burn them all, for Rivervale's revenge!
  #4  
Old 07-07-2017, 01:17 AM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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Default The Conquest of Neriak - Disaster in the Commons?

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Under Rivervale's banner we claimed the bridge.
I drove my sword into the chest of an evil elf and we took the courtyard.

But soon I scented the stench of magics fouler than Xorbb's.
An evil eye floated there and the ice howled.

The fur on my feet froze. I suddenly heard the tolling of a great bell, coming from deeper within the city. We all paused in combat. Behind the aching note of the bell came a dark cackle.

I knew then we had lost the first of our company, and that the Dark Lords of Neriak jeered at us from afar.

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I knelt at the feet of noble Haydien. A halfling wise in the ways of grasses.
He has held many grasses in his hands and carries seventeen different breeds of grass within his purse of walrus-leather. Three of these grasses are mundane but sweet and will soothe a belly upset by too much mead. Seven of these grasses are magical. Yet, I shall not reveal the secrets of Haydien's grass lore. I knelt at his grass-stained feet as the battle raged on.

The evil elf wizard Gath N'Mare nearly blasted me to bits, but a savage warrior whipped his hand and cut the flesh to the white bone beneath his blue skin.

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The tide of darkness did not cease from the unholy corridors of Neriak. Though we had broken the gate and claimed the Foreign Quarter, naming it Rustler's Gate, we now faced the Second Battalion.

Broken swords and shields littered the ground as we beat our enemies senseless. I took an elf by his ears and ripped them off and laughed as he howled, pawing at the useless, gaping holes. I took out a bottle of fermented Jum juice and sloshed it on his face and struck him with my fiery blade until he fell into a puddle of burned, lacerated meat.

EVIL ELF EVIL ELF THE HOBBITS RISE TODAY!

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I had just regained my composure and pushed away the twinge of self-loathing I felt following this desultory action when the entire force of the Wizard's guild was unleashed on our army.

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We were scattered, tired, and hungry. It did not take long for our numbers to fall before this unexpected might.

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  #5  
Old 07-07-2017, 01:33 AM
branamil branamil is offline
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Fools. By hating us you only increased the power of our dark lord Innoruuk. We laughed as your ran away like cowards. And we know that Hatred will win in the end.
  #6  
Old 07-07-2017, 01:35 AM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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By the mist of the thicket,
By the River in the Vale


We had taken the Third Gate. All now that stood between me and the Revenge of my people was the Red Keep.

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Before the fanged gate of the Red Keep we lost another hero.

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On a perch of basalt I stood with Grimbil. He had gambled with Bristlbane and won.. and so Haydien had returned to his desecrated corpse and would live to whisper with the grasses again...

If we could escape Neriak (or should I say, NEW RIVERVALE?) alive.

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At long last my eyes beheld the bloody walls where I had met my match. Not long before the Shadow Knights of this accursed fortress blasted me to smithereens and my corpse was naught more than a jellied slime upon the smooth stones.

But now we were many and they were few. When last there had been five to my one, now WE had three to their one!

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We rushed into the halls, heedless of any danger, of any incantation or trap.
  #7  
Old 07-07-2017, 01:44 AM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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A thundercloud brewed outside the gates of New Rivervale, but when it heard the song of our battle against Xon Quexill, it shook its head and retreated to Lavastorm Mountains.

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They showed us the fury of the Dead. But I have seen the Dead. I have been the Dead.

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Xon Quexill fell. No doubt his final curse had some power, but we laughed it off, kicking his body and drinking Jumjum. We quickly pillaged his corpse and found a most interesting robe.

There was a flurry of bidding and it was bought for the price of Ten Dragon Horns.

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The robe of Xon Quexill was darker than the inky depths of Kaesora. I had never seen a robe enshaedn as this. I made a note in my ledger to add this to the Secret Annals of Rivervale.

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But soon the guard outflanked us. We were surrounded. In a mad dash we raced back towards the commons, but one after another the evil elves struck us down and befuddled us. With their magics they narrowed the twisting hallways and more than one of our number heard the jeering laugh of Death.

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Beneath the Eye of Innoruuk I made a final stand against the revenant remains of the Shadow Knight Guildmasters.

Haydien plunged his hand into his walrus-leather purse and whispered words of Mistiness, and as he cast the yellowed blades of Karana into the cold halls of Neriak, I felt a familiar pull on my battered soul...
  #8  
Old 07-07-2017, 05:21 PM
mickmoranis mickmoranis is offline
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Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
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A thundercloud brewed outside the gates of New Rivervale, but when it heard the song of our battle against Xon Quexill, it shook its head and retreated to Lavastorm Mountains.

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

They showed us the fury of the Dead. But I have seen the Dead. I have been the Dead.

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Xon Quexill fell. No doubt his final curse had some power, but we laughed it off, kicking his body and drinking Jumjum. We quickly pillaged his corpse and found a most interesting robe.

There was a flurry of bidding and it was bought for the price of Ten Dragon Horns.

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The robe of Xon Quexill was darker than the inky depths of Kaesora. I had never seen a robe enshaedn as this. I made a note in my ledger to add this to the Secret Annals of Rivervale.

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But soon the guard outflanked us. We were surrounded. In a mad dash we raced back towards the commons, but one after another the evil elves struck us down and befuddled us. With their magics they narrowed the twisting hallways and more than one of our number heard the jeering laugh of Death.

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Beneath the Eye of Innoruuk I made a final stand against the revenant remains of the Shadow Knight Guildmasters.

Haydien plunged his hand into his walrus-leather purse and whispered words of Mistiness, and as he cast the yellowed blades of Karana into the cold halls of Neriak, I felt a familiar pull on my battered soul...
I would log into blue to fell guild leaders that tresspass on holy ground anytime.
  #9  
Old 07-07-2017, 08:17 AM
Ahldagor Ahldagor is offline
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Wunderbar!
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  #10  
Old 07-07-2017, 12:57 PM
skarlorn skarlorn is offline
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woll y murk um qerbbo marneng weth na wei ta hefd mo haed thot dednf hort
Last edited by skarlorn; 07-07-2017 at 01:01 PM..
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