Sk8er gnome

[Kainzo]

14th

WHATEVER, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

ok so like im eating ice cream and killing munsters in wc (i
reseantly found out wc stands for west commons and not west
coast like i thougt)
so like this warrior comes up to me and hes like 'hey dude
wanna group up??'

and im like 'whats that supposed to mean'

and hes like 'do you wanna group?

and im like '?????'

and hes like 'DO U WANNA GROUP WITH ME AND KILL THE SAME
MONSTERS FOR FAST EXP????'

and im like 'uh ya I guess as long as you dont try an KS me'

and hes like 'click follow'

and im liek 'dude your not the boss of me'

so i decide on MY OWN that i want to click follow and not
because he told me too

and then hes like 'can u sow me'

and im like 'omg dude wtf no im not a paladin'

and hes like 'i c'

so were running arond looking for munsters and he like 'a
young kodiak is incoming get ready'

and im liek 'wtf how do i get ready??'

and hes like 'just kill this'

so i start attacking it, but then i see the hes attacking it
too!!

WTF?!?!

so im like 'dude wtf stop ks'ing me!!!'

and hes like 'huh??'

and im like 'IM HITTING THIS ONE OMG R U BLIND'

well he doesnt stop hitting it so i look around to make sure
noones looking and then i use the autoattack

weel the bear dies and i get the exp and im like 'haha fag i
got exp u should think twice befroe tying to ks me im a monk'

and hes like 'umm i got exp too stupid, thats the benifit of
grouping both people get exp'

and im like 'OMG are u serious??!? is it an exploit cause i
just learned about auto attck last week but im too scared to
use it'

and hes like 'no its not an exploit'

and im like 'sweeet dude u are so rule!! ok then im gonna go
sit at the druid ring and u go kill stuff then. ill check up
on my exp from tiem to time and let u know how your doing'

and he says 'like hell you are if you can't biff me and wont
fight, i dont need you'

and im like 'OMG dude WTF I CANT BUFF U WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A
WIZARD?!!?? now go kill stuff'

and hes like 'no'

and im liek 'please??'

and hes like 'no'

and thats when i got kicked out of the group. but what i wanna
know is what the hell is grouping good for if you cant get
free exp??!?!!?!

[Kainzo]

15th

THE SECRETS OF EVERQUEST, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

ok, so like im in the commons east last night and im having
some ice craem and getting my determination up to go crazyman
and finish level 5.
so i see this skeleton and he runs over to me and hits me and
then laughs at me. so like theres no way im gonna put up with
that, so im attack him.

well im standing there fighting, and this monk named siegert
walks up to me and hes like 'what are you doing?'

and im like 'wtf dude im killing this dumb skele dont KS me'

i don't even know what KS means, but everyone tells me to stop
doing it alot so i think it has something to do with
roleplaying

so he's like 'why aren't you attacking it?'

WTF?!?

so im like 'dude, i am attacking it, look at this sweet ninja
kicking action, are you blind'

so im clicking kick as fast as i can so this stupid monk will
see that i can fite good and leeve me alone.

so then he's like 'skaterr, press the A key'

so i say 'A'

and hes like 'no, don't say it, just press it'

so I tell siegert 'A'

and hes like 'your kinda retarded arent you? just press the A
key'

so im like 'ok dude but this is the last favor i ever do for
you'

so i press A

well all of the sudden i start swinging with my fists and
punch the skele and it dies reely fast!

and im like 'OMG DUDE YOU ARE SO RULE!!'

and hes like 'how is it possible that you've gotten to level 5
without knowing about auto attack?'

and im like 'whats autoattack???'

and hes like 'its what you were just doing when you pressed A'

and im like 'ohh is it an exploit, cause i wont tell on you if
you dont tell on me'

and he stops for a second and hes looking at me and hes
like 'your amazing'

and im like 'ya i know im almost level 6'

and hes like 'lucky for you i came along'

and im like 'ya dude you are the rulest'

so he leaves and im all excited, so i give j-mo a call on the
phone.

and he like 'hello'

and im like 'dude i just got sooooo lucky!'

and hes like 'sweet bro!! with who?'

and im like 'this guy named siegert'

and hes like 'WTF?!?!'

and im like 'ya this monk guys showed me how to exploit the
game with autoattack'

and j-mo's like 'oooooooh, i thought... nevermind'

and im like 'ya dude it rules i can kill pretty much anything
in the game now'

and hes like 'umm, wait a sec dude, you're telling me you
didn't ever know about auto attack?? how the hell did you ever
get to level 5?'

and im like 'DUDE WTF WHY DO PPL KEEP ASKING ME THAT, IM A
MONK!!!'

and hes like 'ya how could i forget, the sweet ninja kicking
action right?'

and im like 'thats right'

so i hang up and then i start wondering why the hell my
brother never told me about the autoattack exploit.

so i go running over to his room, and im banging on the door
and im like 'MIKE!'

and he opens the door a crak and sticks his head out and hes
whispers 'SSsssshhh! dude shut-up! i cant talk right now im
getting lucky!'

so then i realized that that he must be learning about
autoattack right now too, so theres no way he could have told
me about it.

i celebrated with some ice cream.

[Kainzo]

16th

MY NEW FRIENDS, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

ok like wtf is up with leveiling??? it gets reely boring. i
guess cause level 5 is like a hell level or somthing? im
thinking about taking a break from the grind and focosing on
equipment.
anyway so im sitting in feeraut at the druid ring thingy and i
see this little hobbit guy named hobben sitting there afk.

so like all of the sudden this spider start atacking him but
hes afk and cant fight back!

so im like 'dude dont worry ill save you!'

so i jump up and im fighting the spider and i get posioned and
im starting to like get hurt reely bad. so im liek 'hobben
hurry up and get back so you dont die!!'

and hes still just standing there afk and that sucks cause i
dont know how much longer i can hold the spider.

so i shout 'HOBBEN COME BACK TO KEYBAORD OR UR DEAD! hoping
he'll hear me.

so im liek almoset dead and this elf guy named aftathott
appears and hes like 'skaterr your very brave'

and im like 'thanks i know im a monk'

and aftathotts like 'i have to rescue hobben all the tiem too.'

and im like 'thats nice but im almost dead'

so aftathott attacks it and helps me finish it off.

so i check and i have like 12hp left and im like 'sweet dude
thanks!'

and i see hobben is back now and im like 'hey guys i have a
little suprise for you try not to get too excited'

so i guildinvite them to Heros of Norrath (my brother made me
an offiser, shh dont tell anyone). i could tell they were reel
excited caiuse they wer elooking at each other and chuckling
and laughing.

so hobbens like 'skatter we cant join your guild we kinda have
a small one our own'

so im like 'dudes forget all that we have like 15 people
already and one of them is even level 20!'

then aftathott says 'let me ask you something skatter, do you
like big adventures?'

and im like 'i sure do!!'

and aftathotts says 'do you like phat lewtz?'

and im like 'i LOVE phat lewtz!'

so then i get this message "aftathott has invite you to be a
regular member of afterlife" and i click yes.

so hobben tells the guild 'everyone say hi to skaterr who very
unselfiskly risked his life to save me from a level 3 spider'

and everyone is like 'rofl hi skaterr!' and 'welcome skaterr!'

and im liek 'HI GUYS!! is ur guild tough enough to raid
befallen?? cause i reely need a cracked staff and an leather
tunic'

and rezzum tells the guild 'oohh, befallens a toughy, i dont
know if were that good yet'

WTF?!

so im like 'aftathott, if its all the smae to you, i think ill
go back to my old guild, we have a befallen raid tonight and i
need to be with guild whos stong enough to do it'

and hes like 'you must do what you feel it right, of course
skaterr'

and im like 'no hard feelings hehe?'

and hes like 'not at all, we're sorry to lose you'

and im like 'ya i know im level 5. dont feel bad, someone else
will come alone that can help your guild eventually im sure of
it'

and hes like 'i hope so'

so we went our seperate ways and im kinda screwed now cause
now i have to explain to my brother why i need a nother guilf
invite. maybe if ask him nicely i wont get the duck tape.

[Kainzo]

17th

YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

ok so like im playing eq alot lately cause when your grounded
all you can do is play eq and eat ice cream. so im playing
saturday afternoon and noone else is home, and suddenly i see
this named mummy standing in north ro! So im like 'sweet, this
is cool'
but then i see he cons red to me, wtf. so im like 'dammit this
is gay'

so im sitting there pondering my situation when i hear someone
start knocking on the front door. so im ignoring them and
trying think if i have enough endurance to log my brothers
cleric in and run back and forth from his room to my room and
fight and heal and fight and heal.

so whoever is knocking on the door is still knoching and they
call out 'hello is anyone home?'

so i yell 'no!!'

and they yell 'ahha we heard that, come down and talk to us a
minute'

so i yell 'woof woof!' hoping that i can fool them.

but then they're like 'comeon down, it will only take a minute'

and i yell 'im not allowed to answoer the door!!'

and theyre like 'what?'

WTF!?!

so i run my ass downstairs and yank open the door and im
like 'I SAID IM NOT ALLOWED TO OPEN THE DOOR CAUSE IM HOME
ALONE!!'

and then im thinking that ive been tricked somehow, cause here
i am with the door wide open.

so this old guy and this old woman are standing there smiling
at me, ahnd the guy says 'hi there my young friend, my name is
frank and this is my wife vergina and we are from the chuch of
ladder-day saints.

and im like 'cool we have a ladder too'

and he says 'id like to talk to you for a few minutes about
our church can we come in?'

so then i start thinking all deep and intelichual and my mind
hatches a brilliant plan.

so im like 'hey saint frank i wanna be a ladder saint too'

and he says 'wonderful! your never too young!'

so im like 'but dude you have to help me with something first'

so i grab him by the wrist and im dragging him upstairs to my
brothers room and hes huffing and puffing and his wife is
like 'where are you going with my husband?'

so i sit saint frank down in my brothers chair and load up eq
and log on his cleric.

so im like 'listen saint frank i need you to take the mouse
and clikc on that little button right there a few times before
i become a siant'

and hes looking up and me kinda bewildered and hes still
breathing hard from his sprint up the stairs.

so i show him what to do, and i run to my room and i see some
ranger starting to attack the named mummy!!

so i rush in and attcjk it too and im getting beaten up bad
and im like 'click the button frank! CLICK IT!!'

and i hear him in there clicking away as fast as he can, and
hes still weezing. and verginas hobbling up the stairs
saying 'frank whats going on??'

so the fight is going good and saint frank is clicking the
buttons like i showed him and i end up killing the mummy and
looting it!

so frank is like 'what does "joo sux0rs" mean?'

and im like 'that means the ranger wants to join your chruch
too.'

and franks like 'oh'

so i log off and i run into my brothers room and im
like 'frank your the man!'

and he and vergina are looking up at me all wide-eyed and a
little scared and hes like 'you arn't gonna hurt us are you?'

and im like 'no way dude, u rule!'

and im like 'lets go downstairs and ill get you some beers for
u and your wife'

so im dragging frank down to the living room and vergina is
hobbling after us saying 'frank whats going on??'

i think shes a bit slow, that one.

well we get down to the livingroom and all of the sudden my
dad walks in.

and hes like 'what the hell is going on here?'

and im like 'hi dad, this is saint frank, and he wants to
borrow our ladder. hes really cool'

and then i whisper 'but be nice to his wife cause shes a
little feeble in the brain if you know what i mean'

but then franks like 'im sorry to disturb you people. we
really need to be going'

and im like 'frank whats up, when do i get to be a ladder
saint???'

and hes like 'someother time' and he and vergina hussle out
the door.

so i look out the window and theyre trotting away looking over
there shoulder back at the housr and i couldnt help but
thinking what a nice couple they were and hoping that they
would visit us again soon.

[Kainzo]

18th

LIVE AND LET DIE, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

ok so like last night im playing eq, and the phone rings and
its my friend jeff moncrief (who we call J-Mo as a nickname
cause it sounds like j-lo and he hates it) and hes like 'dude,
ive got too tickets to Godsmack for tonight!!'
and im like 'omg dude wtf so you you are so gay. im not going
to a concort with you just the two of us'

and hes like 'wtf dude girls are coming with us. like 10 ppl
are goin'

so im like 'sweeeet dude, u r not gay u rule'

so i grab my jacket and yell 'mom ill be back in a sec, i have
to go outside to pee'

and shes liek 'huh? cant you use the bathroom like a normal
person?'

but i was already out the door by then, and i run over to j-
mo's house and there all outside waiting for me.

so we pack like 10 ppl in the honda and im liek 'dude get off
me homo' and 'dude stop touching me' like the whole way there.

anyway we get there, and were parking and we all get out and
go up the the gates, and theres this long-ass line and we get
in line, and all of the sudden these guys behind us are
like 'hey dudes, we were in line first you just cut us'

and im liek 'wtf dude no you weren't you just came up i saw
you, liars'

and the girls who came with us are giggling and looking at me
and im feeling tough.

so one of the guys pushes me and says 'are you calling me a
liar?'

and im like 'uhh, ya are you deaf? dont make me eagle strike
your ass'

but these guys are big and older and im thinking maybe i
should have handled it a little differently.

so hes walking toward me with his fists ready and everything,
and im getting reely scared now, when suddemly i remember...
feign death! feign death!

now let me tell you... that sh!t doesnt work in reel life,
cause i fell down and played dead real convincingly and he
didnt even hesitate before starting to kick my ribs in.

so lift my head up and im like 'dude wtf im dead just look at
me' and i close my eyes and stick my tounge out, and he didnt
even think about stopping.

so im getting reely hurt now and i look up and i see j-mo
looking at me and im like 'j-mo nuke him wtf!!'

so j-mo comes running over and stops it and im like hurt
pretty bad and those guys run off and j-mo is like 'dude quit
crying sissy'

and im like 'dude, stfu, im not crying im alergic to the
pavement'

so im grumpy and this girl sara who rode with us comes up to
me and shes like 'aww skatey-poo are you ok huney?'

and im like 'ya im fine'

and shes holds my hand and says 'is there anything i can do to
make you feel better?'

and i think about it for a minute and im like 'ya, u can get
me some ice cream'

so in the end i got some ice cream and saw a good concort so
it wasnt reely all that bad. ive been grounded for tto weeks
though, but hay, i can still play eq, so im happy.

19th

I LOVE MY BROTHER, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

so im sitting Fireonia Vei last nite at about 11 aclock eating
icecream and feeling bored and all of the sudden my brother
shows up at the bank with his 60 enchater. and he see's me and
types 'Hey Skaterr '
so i yell 'hey mike. hi'

and hes like 'dude dont yell, just freakin type it in'

so i yell 'dude WTF ur rite down the hall, typing is dumb'

and so he types 'ya and mom and dad are asleep already'

so i yell 'oh ya ur rite my bad ill type stuff now'

so he types 'when are you gonna start'

so i yell 'right now!!'

and he types 'your still yelling...'

and i yell 'WELL QUIT ASKING ME STUFF!!11!'


so then he says 'want me to PL you?'

and i say 'ok cool'

and hes like 'wow, you do know how to type'

and im like 'stfu'

so we group up for the scary spidur run from fireonia vie to
lake if the ill omens, and we get to the bridge to cross and
im getting nervous and eating icecream faster and faster.

well we get to the end of the bridge when all of this sudden
this 45 monk say 'HALT! you may not pass without paying the
bridge toll.'

and the monks standing there at the end of the bridge looking
at us. waiting for some plat or somthing.

WTF??

so my brother says 'how much is the toll'

and the monk says '200p a peace'

and my brother says 'what if we dont pay it'

and the monk says 'ill train you while you run to loio'

so im like 'dude monks are gay'. but then i remembered that im
a monk, and that didnt really sound good so i asked my brother
if there was a way to erase what i had said, and he said no'

so my brother says 'we shall pay you, and also buff you, so
you can defend this bridge even better'

so i yell 'OMG MIKE WTF ARE YOU DIONG!?!?!?'

and hes like 'can it, bullhorn. if you yell again, im gonna
duck tape your mouth shut'

jezz my brother an his damn duct tape.

so he gives the monk 400p and invites him to the group for
some group buffs. so the monk joins us, and im like 'dude ur
gay, but not ALL monks are gay' so now i felt better about
calling monks gay when i am one

so he like 'whatever suxor. going afk for b-room while you
buff me, brb'

and my brother says 'incoming monk buffs!' and begins to cast
a speel. and promptly turned the monk into a werewolf.

well the guards didnt liek that so much, so they started
attaking him and killed him pretty quick. well he came back to
the keyboard and was like "WTF why am i dead??!!'

and im like 'cause your gay, and the guards dont tolerate that
here in FV.'

and my brothers liek 'dude im SO sorry.. forgot about
illusions getting oyu killed in FV. ill get you a rez'

so we find this 30 cleric whio will rez him, and he gets back
to his corpse after lots of biching about getting a higher rez
and losing exp.

so while he was looting his corpse, mike did it again. it only
took 1 hit to kill the monk this time so im falling off my
chair laughing. and i yell 'mike you are so freakin funny im
peeing in my pant'

well 10 seconds later theres mike standing behind me with duct
tape in hand. dammit.

so i get my mouth taped and hes like 'can you still breath?'

and im liek 'mmhmfmmmh'

and hes like 'that was worth 400p, wasnt it'

and im like 'mmhhmmfmmhmm'

all in all it was a good night. mike was thinking about
logging on his wizard and offering to gate the monk to DL, and
taking him to cobelt scars instead, but we figured he had had
enough.

mike let me take the duct tape off after haf an hour, but by
then my ice cream had melted, so i had to use a straw instead.
like i said, all in all it was a good night.

[Kainzo]

20th

FUNNY HOW THE WORLD WORKS SOMETIMES, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002.

hey like, my birthday is friday. well my brother and a few of
his friends were talking about what gift to give me, and my
brother mentioned a cof for my monk, or a fungi, whatever that
is
weel then my brother looks over at me playing eq and says 'hey
wait, lets get him a stripper.

OMG WTF?!?

now i KNOW wht a stripper is. i had to use one on the kicthen
walls last summer when my dad and me repainted part of the
house. it doesnt work very well and its not fun AT ALL

so im like 'dude WTF, why would i want a stripper??!!

and my brother and his friends are looking at me funny, and
they say 'umm, stripers are alot of fun, bro. youll understand
when your older'

how can this be?? what do they know that i dont??

well they go outside and do whatever it is college people do,
and i log off eq and decided to give this stripper thing
another chance

so i go down stairs to try to get my dads stripper and
practise with it a bit and see i was missing someting...but i
cant find it anywere

so i call my mom at work and im like 'mom have you seen dads
stripper'

and she says 'what?!'

and im like dad has a stripper, do you know were?'

and she starts breathing heavy and whatever.

so she says 'your father has a STRIPPER?!'

and im like 'chill mom, jezz, ya sometimes he keeps it in the
basement, but i cant find it anywhere'

and my mom is foaming at the mouth and yelling 'SHES BEEN OVER
TO THE HOUSE??!!??'

WTF?!

i never knew this was such a hot topic

and im like 'listen you didnt mind the stripper so much when
you got a new kitchen remodled'

and shes like 'I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT ANY STRIPPER' blah blah
blah... and 'THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE LAST SUMMER??!!'

so im like 'umm mom ill call ya later of something, jezz'

and shes like 'DONT YOU HANG UP ON...."

so im like 'WTF'

so i go downstairs again and finally find the stripper on the
toolbench

so i bring it up to my bedroom and plug it in and man i must
have gotten bigger and stronger since last summer cause that
striper worked reel good

so there i was peeling perfect stips of paint off my wall, and
im like 'hey this isnt so bad'

so then i decide to write my name, and i do it and im
thinking 'like, my brother was right this is fun haha'

well then the phone rings and its my grandfaather who lives
all the way overr in Britin Engalend.

so he says 'good afternoon son, and how are you?'

and i say 'hey gramps im great im playing with a striper in my
bedroom!'

and he says 'pardon me?'

and im like 'ya, im getting one for my birthday, so i decided
to practise with my dads stripper in my bedroom and i reely
like it'

and he cleared his throught and said 'oh dear'

and im like 'ya at first i didnt like it, but now its really
growing on me'

and he says 'so its growing, is it *ahem* *cough*? ummm, is
your mother there?'

and just then my mom burst through the bedroom door all red
faced and looked at me and looked at the wall and i dropped
the phone and i was thinking 'oh man i am screwed'

and shes like 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!'

and im like 'mom, im playing with dads stripper dont be mad'

and she stops and looks at me again and at the wall, and all
of the sudden she starts laughing and giggling and gave me a
big hug and a kiss on the forhead (ewww) and she wasnt mad
anymore (my dad sure was we he got hom, but thats a different
story)

anyway all the guys at skool think im reely cool now when i
tell them that my mom likes strippers and that im getting one
for my birthday. seems like they all want to come over friday
and play with it too, but i dont think ill let'em.

21st

EASY CASH AND SILLY GIRLS,. by Skater gnome

August 6, 2002


well, like last week i was playing eq at my friends house, and
his sister was like 'hey, quit that and come help me with
something'
so im like 'hey shutup for a sec im almost done beeting a
dervish!'

so she comes over and turns the computer off!!! and im
yelling 'mike!! mike!! your sisters a meanhead!!'

and she says 'mikes gone with my mom to get the dog back from
the vet thats why i need your help'

so im like 'dammit fine then, since i cant play eq anymore'

so we go upstairs and shes like 'help me move my bed to this
side of the room'

so im like 'this sucks'

and shes like 'your a whiner'

and i get mad and im like 'no im not, you are'

anyway, were moving the bed and we get it across the room, and
theres this quarter under the bed

and she picks it up and walks over too me and looks at me for
a sec then whispers in my ear 'i'll bet you this quarter that
i can kiss you without touching you'

so im like 'sweet! thats a free quarter!'

so i say 'you better pay up when you lose'

and she just smiles and gets closer and kisses me right on the
mouth!

then she took my hand and put the quarter in it, looked me in
the eyes and smiled and said 'looks like i lost'

and im like 'dam right, you did'

and she says 'so how was that?'

and i said 'good, you taste like jolly ranchers!'

and she laughed and said 'that would be my lip gloss'

and she said 'im going to go for a swim in our pool, wanna
help me get changed into my bathing suit?'

and i was like 'hell no i have a quarter to spend on some ice
cream, haha, woo-hoo!!'

then i ran out of the room, which took a little while, because
the door had gotten locked somehow.

anyway a bossy cheerleader and her money are easily parted i
guess

[Elleve]

Way more fun if you start out with the first one. People that are new to this will just get confused...

[Kainzo]

22nd

THE STAKERS AMONG US, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

omg check this out.
so last night im killing fire beeatles and eating ice and i
get this tell..

slayerr tells you 'your posts on cr forums sucks and u r
stupid'

WTF?!?

i tell slayerr 'dude who are you and wtf?'

slayerr tells you 'im on cr forums and read your posts and
their dumb an u r dumb too dumbface, whos dumb.'

so i say 'dude did you create that character just to log onto
mith marr and taunt me?'

slayerr tells you 'ya sucker you suck and your dumb and im not
and you suck and i dont haha'

so im thinking that slayerr is a loser and a meaniehead.

so my brother is watching TV and i call him into the room and
he reads whats been wroten and he chuckles and he says come
with me.

so my brother logs on his 57 wizard and tells slayerr 'hi
friend and well met!'

slayerr tells him 'who the hell r u n00b'

mykrel (57 Wizard) tells slayerr 'im quitting eq and selling
my 57 wizard for one penny to the person with the coolest
name, and i think you may be the one!'

slayerr tells mykrel 'awesome!!! dude u r cooler than
airsupply!!'

mykrel tells slayerr 'hold on though, there are a few others
who are in the running'

slayerr tells mykrel 'dude comeawn pleeaaase!! I have a cool
name cause im cool and handsome!'

mykrel tells stayerr 'don't go anywhere, in ten minutes i'll
tell you who wins, but your looking really strong right now'

slayerr tells mykrel 'sweet dude u r a studly man, a beautiful
man'

WTF?!?

so my brother looks at me, and i'm like 'ya dude, i dunno what
up with that?'

so my brother waits 10 minutes and watches TV, then he
petitions 'a level 1 player named slayerr keeps bothering my
trying to buy my account for one penny. please take action on
this'

so then my brother tells slayerr 'no i will not sell you my
account, please stop bothering me'

and then slayerr tells him 'DUED WTF YOU SELL ME YOUR ACCOUNT
I WAITED 10 MINUTEDS!!'

and mykrel tells him 'there will be no account selling, it's
against the rules, please stop bothering me'

and slayerr tells him 'bullsh1t dude you can sell it and get
away with it, i do it all the time i have a cleric and warrior
and they are 52 and i bought them off ebay, i get all my
characters off ebay, now sell me your account for a
penny!!!!!!'

then my brother does a /report slayerr, whatever that is.

so slayerr keeps going on and on and on, about how my brother
needs to sell, and that he is NOT cooler than airsupply
anymore.

then he gets another tell..

GUIDE forsythe tells you 'im sorry about all that. slayerr
won't be bothering you or anyone else for awhile, his account
has been suspended and is under review for a ban.

so we log off and eat more ice cream.

then my brother says 'slayerr probably drunk right now,
singing "im all out of love"'

and we had a good laugh and ate ice cream.

I guess what goes around comes around.

23rd

I was invisible and running through the Karanas one day when I noticed a young gnome near the gypsy camp. He was fighting a lion and though it looked like he would win the battle, being a fellow gnome, I decided to help the guy out.

I targeted the lion, clicked on my mesmerize spell, then *started* to type: "I'm mesmerizing the lion for you." I got as far as: "I'm " when I remembered that I had replaced my mesmerize spell with an Area of Effect mesmerize spell... and that I was standing next to an NPC enchantress. *Gulp.

My movement keys are mapped to "w a s d" so I frantically stabbed at my keyboard, trying to MOVE and interrupt the spell.

I forgot that I was in typing mode.

The gypsy enchantress didn't like my attempt to mezz her so she promptly charmed me and made me go after the gnome I had been trying to *save*. I watched in horror as my peace-loving character, knife flailing like a crazed sushi chef, chased the little guy down and stabbed him to death.

I found my victim later and apologized profusely... I even gave him a nice weapon and a piece of armor. He was great about it, and laughed when I told him what happened.

He said he didn't know WHAT was going on. One minute he was fighting a lion, the next minute a strange gnome appeared out of NOWHERE, announced: "I'm wwwaaaddd", then sliced him up like Freddy Krueger.

[Kainzo]

Hope someone gets a kick out of these, work is slow =/

[Stickyfingers]

I loved these back in the day. Thanks for posting them again, hilarious as always.