I need a book deal

[Black Jesus]

I guess I'll start at the beginning of when shit started to go downhill and try to keep it somewhat chronological. It won't get interesting in this post.

It was the beginning 9th grade and I had never smoked pot before and fell in with a group of punk rockers. We're at a faggit screamo type show at a church and theres a bong going around. I took like 2 pussy hits and didn't get high. The night wasn't too memorable besides fondling some titties.

Next day though, it's the after school special. I took like 2 fat rips. We're walking and like 20 minutes later it fucking HITS slapped by the hand of god. I'm talkin full of pretty colours and seein shit almost, I was stoney baloney. Remember this is cali weed so this ain't the mexican brick shit you get in bumfuck kentucky. Anyway yea, whatever, smoked weed a few more times that year, big woop.

Next year, sophomore year, they had opened up a new school and all my punk rawk friends were goin there instead. It's my 16th birthday and this chick is like I got some alcohol from my older bro. Now besides like stealin a beer from my dad I've never really drank anything before. So we start the schoolday off killing half a fifth with orange juice.

We're walkin to school and I'm rubbin all kinda titty and we are makin out the whole way. We get to school and are walkin down this dirthill and she passes the fuck out. I'm like oh fuck cause all kinds of people are walkin by like wtf and freakin out. Anyways, the narcs (noon duties) come and start giving me shit like are you drunk I can smell it on your breath omg you fucking rapist you murdered this poor girl etc. Long story short, that was the first time I got expelled, for being the asshole boy who never drank alcohol before who some girl stole it from her brother as b-day present for me. I never saw her again

To be continued...