From what I've seen the problem is really gear, I guess. There is just no way for a non-twink to get a remotely decent set of gear that I have seen. "Remotely decent" meaning "equal to a pet of the same level".
On my poor bastard of an SK at a whopping Sixth level I'm unable to out-aggro or out-mitigate a pet. And there is absolutely a MASSIVE difference in HP regen between the pet and my SK. Massively massive.
I've got a few pieces of leather armor on my SK that I actually ran over to him from my level 5/6 bard. These items dropped from orcs and such in Gfay. One, single item of use has dropped for my SK in Qeynos Hills or the Gnoll dungeon zone: A pair of cloth pants. That's it. Everything else I got from my bard or bought from a vendor and I've still got several slots of gear that are empty. That toon is totally broke, less than 2 plat, and takes more damage per swing than my level 6 necro's pet does by a long shot. The DPS isn't even comparable, the necro pet is far superior.
Now, as I mentioned, this is almost certainly a gearing issue. But I don't see how it could ever be reasonably expected for a starting melee character to measure up to a pet class in any way unless they are twinked out.
That's probably just the way old EQ was set up but it's essentially impossible for a new player to join the server and try to play a tank.
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