Lose Weight

[unsunghero]

One time my ma wanted to do a 5k with me. She planned to walk parts and run parts, I planned to go fast in the beginning, then fast in the middle, and then finish fast

So I took my usual race-only pre-game which was 1 scoop pre-workout, 20mg weed sativa edible, 1 pill of either oxy/perc/Vicodin (cuts lactic acid feeling completely, reduces exhaustion feeling, always a guaranteed performance boost)

I offered my ma 1 scoop pre-workout before. After the race, she was pretty pissed at me

“What was that pre-workout you gave me?”
“Like 3 cups of coffee in one”
Ma: “I had to stop and emergency shit like 4 times on that race. When people are shitting in a hurry, their aim is apparently terrible. Do you know how gross it was to have to use those porta potties 4 times???”