The People vs. Nirgon. Charges: Illiteracy, Obstruction of Justice, Cowardice.

[Sethius Marlowe]

Okay let’s start.

I have sex everyday. And it’s goooooooood. Like the good stuff. Everyone’s all happy and pleased and shit.

People like me wherever I go because I’m a goofball and I just compliment people and notice the best in people and tell wacky jokes.

I make a lot of money. Right around 120k a year. And I mostly work from home.

My job lets me meet lots of interesting people and learn things about the world.

I work when I feel like it and goof off when I feel like it. I also have a cat that just romps around the neighborhood with me. She’s the best.

I work out like two to three hours a day so I’m always happy and healthy and strong and nothing is an ordeal for me. I don’t feel that weird struggle you feel when you reach for something. Everything for me is just fun and better and like a kid. I have insane energy because of this and so I only feel the need to sleep like four to six hours a day and I get to just do more than you do.

I don’t take any antidepressants or any medications. I’m just happy to live and be awesome and share my awesome with good people that want to share it with me. I give to those in need and do good things to good people. And I delight in doing bad things to bar people like the count of Monte Cristo.

My girlfriend is smart as shit and is world renowned and works with people who are deciding the policies and the everything that’s happening to your corona virus world.

What more do you want to know? The cringe is you, my friend. My life is fucking awesome.