Transgender MMORPG Preferences

[Cecily]

Hi. I like to play rogues and elves. I started playing EQ at 17 and decided it wasn’t worth the grief my irl friends would give me for playing a girl, so male wood elf back on live. Later on, I saw a higher level wood elf rogue girl, I thought she was a really pretty character, so I was kicking myself for not making main female. I played a female DE rogue for a short while, but the social interactions were weird and I ended up quitting for Lineage II shortly afterwards anyways.

Decided I wasn’t going to deal with that regret in another game so Jetta, my dark elf assassin, was born without much rumination and I loved that character. I decided I was gonna try out a female online identity. That lasted about a month or two, I made friends with someone and he invited me to his clan... I learned what ventrilo was. +2 years male online identity.

When I joined this magical place, I decided I just wouldn’t talk. I kept that up for about a year so and most people called me she and it was nice, albeit real awkward and I eventually outed myself to try to support Katrik and represent trans women / cultivate empathy with people who didn’t understand us. Ha ha.

Anyways I’m always playing females now... I can’t play guys anymore. Weirds me out. Lineage II taught me that I like PvP and that I’m one hell of a grifer. I was a very notorious pk. I don’t like leading, but I’m good at it. Most raids I end up giving orders to the dps who are bad at the game. Social is very important to me but I played EQ to forget I was too poor to transition. I’ve backstabbed more than a few guilds to keep my pixels flowing. It was a drug to me.

I’m currently transitioning on hormones since last October (MTF) and by far the biggest change in my video game habits is the fact I don’t play video games anymore. I’m waaaay more into socializing with people than I used to be and video games are incredibly boring for me now. It’s fortunate. I have a lot of work to do on getting my life together and I can finally work towards it without feeling compelled to check out mentally for 12+ hours every day.