what most of you will not understand

[Daldolma]

This isn't the fucking Middle Ages. If you're scared to walk to your car from Wal-Mart at 11:30PM, there are two courses of action:

1) Stop going to Wal-Mart at 11:00PM.

2) Buy a gun.

A gun costs $200. Learning how to use it takes 2 weeks and another $100. For $300, you never have to feel vulnerable again.

More importantly, if you're truly terrified of being raped, spend more time researching the incidence of rape. The vast majority of rapes are not performed by some hulking man that sneaks up on you at the gas station and throws you in his trunk. The vast majority of rapes are perpetrated by people the victim knows, or people the victim has willingly put himself or herself into contact with. In other words, a guy that starts talking to you at a bar and slips something into your drink. A guy you go on a date with that decides you aren't allowed to swat his hand away when he's pulling your skirt off. A gardener, electrician, or basically anyone you allow into your home. A huge percentage of rapes are also targeted specifically at children and inmates, so assuming you're not in grade school or prison, and you're not an altar boy, you should be in the clear from that angle.

Basically, as long as you keep an eye on your drinks and avoid being anywhere alone with a man you don't trust, you don't really have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being mugged or hit by a car. Walking through a bad neighborhood late at night is always going to be dangerous, and not simply because of rapists. A woman might get raped; a man might get beaten into a coma for his wallet, or because some retarded gang-banger wants to prove a point. You're not experiencing some gender-specific terror if you have to gas your car up at midnight. Men don't like it, either.

Are men more naturally equipped to handle ourselves? Yes, but again, it's not the fucking Middle Ages. That is completely changeable. Rapists aren't bulletproof.

tl;dr -- Buy a gun, don't put yourself in stupid situations, and you'll be fine.

[xshayla701]

You kind of took what I said to mean something different. I'm not looking for pity for being a girl. The original intent was just to show a side of things you may not think about. But it got turned into a retarded shitting contest with some feminism/misogyny thrown in.

Trust me, I realize that it is more likely to happen with an acquaintance or someone you think you know. I know people it's happened to. Letting the plumber in the house scares me just as much.

I didn't say it was a gender-specific terror. Clearly you missed the whole fucking point. Hell, men have a gender-specific terror too, they can have rape called on them at any point and the girl will probably get him sent to jail for years. The point was - we can't stop living our lives, but we do have to live with the fact that we can become victims in a way that men (generally) cannot and will never understand. It's not about the fact that I am too lazy to pump my gas by myself when I'm tired at night. It's the fact that if I didn't realize my gas was running low when I'm omw to work and I don't have time, I have no choice but to do it after work or risk running out on my way home. "Don't put yourself in stupid situations" - clearly it was stated we avoid those situations for THAT reason, because they are stupid and can put you into harms way. My solution was to get my bf to come with me, make plans to go to the store the next day, not take night classes, etc. I'm not going to stop doing what I need to do because I'm afraid. I'm not going to give up what independence I do have because I'm scared of getting mugged or murdered or raped. But that doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind.

But you kind of made the point I was getting at. No measure that I take - gun, pepper spray, kneeing a guy in his balls - will make the playing field even. A man will almost always be able to overpower a woman. Damn right I'll do some decent damage and put up a fight, but in the end I'll probably end up dead. Rape is different from being mugged. You are powerless, weak, nothing, compared to the attacker. That is what they go for: making you feel powerless makes them feel more powerful. I don't get how you can't see the difference. Not to mention if the guy lets you LIVE, what you have to deal with for the rest of your life and go through to overcome it.

tl;dr version: you will never get it.

[Daldolma]

Originally Posted by xshayla701 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You kind of took what I said to mean something different. I'm not looking for pity for being a girl. The original intent was just to show a side of things you may not think about. But it got turned into a retarded shitting contest with some feminism/misogyny thrown in.

Trust me, I realize that it is more likely to happen with an acquaintance or someone you think you know. I know people it's happened to. Letting the plumber in the house scares me just as much.

I didn't say it was a gender-specific terror. Clearly you missed the whole fucking point. Hell, men have a gender-specific terror too, they can have rape called on them at any point and the girl will probably get him sent to jail for years. The point was - we can't stop living our lives, but we do have to live with the fact that we can become victims in a way that men (generally) cannot and will never understand. It's not about the fact that I am too lazy to pump my gas by myself when I'm tired at night. It's the fact that if I didn't realize my gas was running low when I'm omw to work and I don't have time, I have no choice but to do it after work or risk running out on my way home. "Don't put yourself in stupid situations" - clearly it was stated we avoid those situations for THAT reason, because they are stupid and can put you into harms way. My solution was to get my bf to come with me, make plans to go to the store the next day, not take night classes, etc. I'm not going to stop doing what I need to do because I'm afraid. I'm not going to give up what independence I do have because I'm scared of getting mugged or murdered or raped. But that doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind.

But you kind of made the point I was getting at. No measure that I take - gun, pepper spray, kneeing a guy in his balls - will make the playing field even. A man will almost always be able to overpower a woman. Damn right I'll do some decent damage and put up a fight, but in the end I'll probably end up dead. Rape is different from being mugged. You are powerless, weak, nothing, compared to the attacker. That is what they go for: making you feel powerless makes them feel more powerful. I don't get how you can't see the difference. Not to mention if the guy lets you LIVE, what you have to deal with for the rest of your life and go through to overcome it.

tl;dr version: you will never get it.

I really didn't misunderstand your point. I don't think you're pity-mongering, I don't think you're sexist, and I don't think my response had any misogynist underpinnings. I didn't call you lazy or stupid. If anything, I'm trying to show you that a crippling fear of violent, anonymous rape is irrational. It's also untrue to say that men generally can't and don't understand that fear. 10% of reported rape victims are male, and I don't think it'd be irrational to assume that the incidence of reporting is lower for males than females.

44% of rape victims are under 18 years old; 80% are under 30. Two-thirds of rapes are committed by acquaintances. What does all that mean? Basically, that children and adolescents are the group most vulnerable, and that rape is generally not an "anytime, anywhere" type of crime. Whether or not the creepy guy at the gas station at midnight is a rapist, he's almost definitely not going to rape *you* as you pump your gas. You're far more likely to be raped by a guy you kind-of know from class and ask to drive you home from a party. Most rapists aren't 6'3, 240 pound 25-year olds that corner you in an alley. They're the 70-year old neighbor, the 55-year old priest, the geeky 30-year old math teacher, the kid from class, the guy from the club. They're either going to rape you as a child too young to defend yourself, or as a 20-something year old willingly putting yourself alone in a room or car with them. It's just not realistic to fear being shoved into a corner and raped as you go about your daily business.

So, back to my point -- there's no reason for you to sacrifice any of your independence. You don't need to stop going to Wal-Mart or fueling up at night. You don't need your boyfriend to go with you, either. If it's an overwhelming fear, you can carry a gun and eliminate it. But in reality, it's an irrational fear. Assuming you're no longer a child, if you're going to be raped, the overwhelming statistical likelihood is that it's going to be by someone you know. Which means that as long as you make an effort to not be alone with a guy you don't know very well, you don't have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being hit by a car. Look both ways when you cross the road, don't walk through a bad neighborhood at night, and don't worry.

By the way, I'm serious about the gun thing. A lot of women would be a lot better off if they owned one.

[kinuven]

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[stormlord]

Originally Posted by Daldolma [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I really didn't misunderstand your point. I don't think you're pity-mongering, I don't think you're sexist, and I don't think my response had any misogynist underpinnings. I didn't call you lazy or stupid. If anything, I'm trying to show you that a crippling fear of violent, anonymous rape is irrational. It's also untrue to say that men generally can't and don't understand that fear. 10% of reported rape victims are male, and I don't think it'd be irrational to assume that the incidence of reporting is lower for males than females.

44% of rape victims are under 18 years old; 80% are under 30. Two-thirds of rapes are committed by acquaintances. What does all that mean? Basically, that children and adolescents are the group most vulnerable, and that rape is generally not an "anytime, anywhere" type of crime. Whether or not the creepy guy at the gas station at midnight is a rapist, he's almost definitely not going to rape *you* as you pump your gas. You're far more likely to be raped by a guy you kind-of know from class and ask to drive you home from a party. Most rapists aren't 6'3, 240 pound 25-year olds that corner you in an alley. They're the 70-year old neighbor, the 55-year old priest, the geeky 30-year old math teacher, the kid from class, the guy from the club. They're either going to rape you as a child too young to defend yourself, or as a 20-something year old willingly putting yourself alone in a room or car with them. It's just not realistic to fear being shoved into a corner and raped as you go about your daily business.

So, back to my point -- there's no reason for you to sacrifice any of your independence. You don't need to stop going to Wal-Mart or fueling up at night. You don't need your boyfriend to go with you, either. If it's an overwhelming fear, you can carry a gun and eliminate it. But in reality, it's an irrational fear. Assuming you're no longer a child, if you're going to be raped, the overwhelming statistical likelihood is that it's going to be by someone you know. Which means that as long as you make an effort to not be alone with a guy you don't know very well, you don't have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being hit by a car. Look both ways when you cross the road, don't walk through a bad neighborhood at night, and don't worry.

By the way, I'm serious about the gun thing. A lot of women would be a lot better off if they owned one.

I'm with you. Agree 100%.

I know i don't know what it's like to fear rapists, but I know what it's like being a small guy in this world that's not good with people. Everyone thinks there' something wrong with me. I got teased so much in school there's probably a scar on my brain somewhere. I don't have bad thoughts about others. But I can just imagine walking dwon a city street minding my own business and a wife with 2 children is going to the supermarket and sees me and goes back into her house because she's afraid i'm some kind of rapist. I would just feel sorry for her. Maybe I should wear a star trek or wear a business suit or wear something that shows them I'm not a bad guy.

[mimixownzall]

Originally Posted by Daldolma [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

This isn't the fucking Middle Ages. If you're scared to walk to your car from Wal-Mart at 11:30PM, there are two courses of action:

1) Stop going to Wal-Mart at 11:00PM.

2) Buy a gun.

A gun costs $200. Learning how to use it takes 2 weeks and another $100. For $300, you never have to feel vulnerable again.

More importantly, if you're truly terrified of being raped, spend more time researching the incidence of rape. The vast majority of rapes are not performed by some hulking man that sneaks up on you at the gas station and throws you in his trunk. The vast majority of rapes are perpetrated by people the victim knows, or people the victim has willingly put himself or herself into contact with. In other words, a guy that starts talking to you at a bar and slips something into your drink. A guy you go on a date with that decides you aren't allowed to swat his hand away when he's pulling your skirt off. A gardener, electrician, or basically anyone you allow into your home. A huge percentage of rapes are also targeted specifically at children and inmates, so assuming you're not in grade school or prison, and you're not an altar boy, you should be in the clear from that angle.

Basically, as long as you keep an eye on your drinks and avoid being anywhere alone with a man you don't trust, you don't really have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being mugged or hit by a car. Walking through a bad neighborhood late at night is always going to be dangerous, and not simply because of rapists. A woman might get raped; a man might get beaten into a coma for his wallet, or because some retarded gang-banger wants to prove a point. You're not experiencing some gender-specific terror if you have to gas your car up at midnight. Men don't like it, either.

Are men more naturally equipped to handle ourselves? Yes, but again, it's not the fucking Middle Ages. That is completely changeable. Rapists aren't bulletproof.

tl;dr -- Buy a gun, don't put yourself in stupid situations, and you'll be fine.

Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. Even in America not everyone can legally run around carrying loaded weapons without spending some time and money to legally carry one.

Law makers continually take steps that restrict law abiding citizens' ability to protect themselves.

[Abacab "The REAL truth"]

Originally Posted by Daldolma [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

A gardener, electrician, or basically anyone you allow into your home. A huge percentage of rapes are also targeted specifically at children and inmates, so assuming you're not in grade school or prison, and you're not an altar boy, you should be in the clear from that angle.

This.

If you think it's scary on the outside, try being a male between the ages of 18-34 in the prison system. You've literally got no chance in escaping a raping and or beat down, you could fight them off but they'll just be back in greater numbers with sharper weapons and in the end you're either getting raped or you're dead.

Being a female you have no idea what it is like to be given the longstick of the law in every case, every court case involving women as the defendant has been light years less severe when it comes to punishment and retribution any civil case involving children or property from alimony might as well not be fought because the ruling will most likely be in favor of the woman.

and until you view through the eyes of men and view the world as "everyone is out to get you, don't be caught slippin'" you wont understand the general panic you'll feel when dealing with authority, when walking alone in bad areas, when meeting people you don't trust...

As a woman you'll never be sent off to foreign lands to be eviscerated in war sports, you'll never be drafted if needed and come back hideously disfigured and maimed or deal with huge cases of PTSD for the rest of your life. So remember it's hard to be a woman while you're home drinking pepsi cola and watching the Oxygen network as millions of men are slaughtered, tortured, and disemboweled daily for nothing other than mere politics.

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