Winter Virgins

[Alawen Everywhere]

I moved back to Minnesota from San Francisco in October. Minnesota features:

no homeless begging for change,
no South Americans pissing in the street,
no hippie kids camping in the park,
no corrupt public unions fucking up everything from street fairs to bus lines,
no East Bay thugs shooting random people,
no dog shit on every block,
no smell of urine every hundred feet,
no decaying ghetto for crazy junkies.

Take a picture of the white trash shithole where you actually live, Hasbinbad. No one believes for a minute that you live in that postcard of wine country.

Edit: I take that back. I looked at Google Maps. Your parents have a pretty nice house.

[Rottening]

I live in the north because there is no city better than Chicago in the summer, imo. 4 months of hell is worth the perfect summer.