Making time to play?

[Champion_Standing]

Follow this simple guide and you will have all the time for EQ that you want.

1. Become obese
2. Get diabetes
3. Call off sick a lot with diabetes related issues
4. Get fired
5. Collect unemployment
6. Get more obese
7. Get on disability
8. Play EQ like a pro

[waffel]

Trust me, those that are able to devote 5+ hours to everquest every night because they don't have a career or a wife/girlfriend are sad.

They wish their job was fulfilling, they wish they had someone they could love and who loved them back.

But they don't. They either don't want to take the steps to have it (lazy) or lie to themselves that playing EverQuest 5 hours+ a day above everything else is what they really want in life. But deep down they know they're depressed. Deep down they wish they were like OP with an actual life.

[Malrakh]

Now it's to the point where unless Game of Thrones is on (or some other show we watch together) I just play EQ without even thinking about her. And likewise she just watches terrible terrible reality TV shows (with headphones, thank god) without worrying about me. So I think talking to your GF is an excellent idea, and hopefully it helps you two get to the kind of relationship my wife and I have.

So unless GoT is on, you ignore your wife? I'm all for interdependency but, that's not the kind of relationship I want personally.

To the OP: I'm in medical school now and have a wife and 3 kids (ages 5, 3, and 1) and we're trying for a 4th. For me it's about "foreground and background." My family is my dream and ambition so they're in the foreground and get all of my attention. When things are winding down with the family, then I make time for my gaming hobby.

My wife used to abhor gaming. Like she'd get visibly upset if she even saw me playing a game. But a lot of that attitude comes from a lack of understanding rather than codependency. And I'm glad I didn't give her the boot because she has qualities I think no one else on earth has. If she came to me tomorrow and asked sincerely that I stop playing, I'd smash my computer to bits with a sledgehammer.

As others have said, communication is key and some times the best way to communicate is through action. My wife is a triathlete but when we started having kids she pretty much stopped 100%. So I started waking up at 5:30am with the kids so she could run 3 times a week (this was my idea - I pretty much had to dress her and push her out the door). I also went online and signed her up for a sprint triathlon (mini-triathlon). We a got up early and the kids and I played cheer-leaders while my wife competed. I made it 100% about her and her hobby. Slowly she started realizing how important hobbies can be to de-stress and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I can game now almost every night if I want to with no wife-faction hit. Recently I've felt like we're not really spending a lot of quality time together (I game in my office and the TV she watches TV in the other room). So I straight hulked out one night and moved the couch into my office. She fussed at first (she's ocd when it comes to having the house a certain way) but when I started asking her all of these questions about Ally McBeal she really started enjoying it. I freaking hate Ally McBeal... But my wife loves it...so I'm trying to get into it.

Just like my wife used to hate gaming, but I love it, so maybe one day she'll start asking me more about it [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.].

[Champion_Standing]

Waffel you have some deep insights into the life of a depressed EQ addict. Is it from your work as a young psychologist or are you just speaking from experience?

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

Originally Posted by waffel [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Trust me, those that are able to devote 5+ hours to everquest every night because they don't have a career or a wife/girlfriend are sad.

They wish their job was fulfilling, they wish they had someone they could love and who loved them back.

But they don't. They either don't want to take the steps to have it (lazy) or lie to themselves that playing EverQuest 5 hours+ a day above everything else is what they really want in life. But deep down they know they're depressed. Deep down they wish they were like OP with an actual life.

I have had many fulfilling relationships. I am wearing a vest made of ears from some of them as I type.

[Buellen]

first of LIFE always > than EQ

I had a similar problem with my wife about my Hobby time (EQ at the time). She always complained i would spend to much time in everquest (Raiding).

We talked about the issue and figured out how many hours free time I had during the week (not at work) , and how much time i as spending in everquest. IN my situation i was dedicating to much of my free time to my Hobby. We came to a compromise that i feel works great. I get to spend 1 hr or so after work till she get home and I get Saturdays to myself for about 8 hours. I usually get about 1hr to 2hr at night once she goes to bed.

Rest of my free time is now set for our relationship and house work (painting, patching, yard et etc ) IT is very very important to dedicated one night a week to just be all about your Wife/girlfriend and you to be together. IN my case that is Friday night , and Sundays are are for family or other such events.

[woodz]

As everyone else has said, you just need to have a chat with your girl and kind of drive home how necessary it is for a bit of solo time. It's not a reflection on her, it's just a basic human requirement for most of us.

Between work, playing a heap of sport and various other activities, initially I really struggled to get game time in when the girlfriend moved in. These days I get an hour or so in at night while she watches real housewives of who gives a fuck. It helps that we're in the same room and can still chat - that was a key aspect of me getting back on p99 (the only laptop I have is old as hell and can't run anything remotely modern).

I also chose a class that I knew would solo well as I knew longer stretches of group play would be rare and only occur sporadically on weekends. Hence, the druid. Worst case I just take off anon and do some ports while semi-afk during a weeknight when we're hanging out.

tldr; chat with your girl.

[Morgwar]

Lol my wife gets pissed after a while if when i come home and i dont play something. It really confuses me sometimes but she plays mmos too so that's probably why.