Logging into Live after 12 year hiatus

[Abacab-Godking]

two hours ago I got about four hits out of my last bit of resin. during those precious moments I actually enjoyed life and the act of being alive. everything was special, unique, exciting, astonishing, mind-blowing, loving, caring, interesting, fun, and on the verge of being totally orgasmic.

now as I sober up and those flowing thoughts of clarity are no longer here, everything around has changed. some will say change is good but it is only good when change is for the better. normally, change is not for the better just as I have currently experienced.

everything has changed into a pointless, demeaning, demoralizing, boring, and pitiful existence of that supposedly miraculous construct of life. all meaning as been stripped and death feels like a good answer to escape the pains of everyday thought.

everything has been thought to be wildly complex through our understandings of the laws of the universe - a universes' only explanation so far would be that of a superior consciousness have constructed through divine providence. if such perfection exists, then the kind of change another miraculous complexity of life can do for consciousness should only be considered kismet.

weed is here for a reason. a strong and valid reason.

smoke weed.

and please think of me while you do as I beg the universe to send me some weed in some type of form.