Who remembers that 'real life EQ' skit someone wrote up ..

[kastan]

Finally dug it up.
sigh, gotta raise my google skill....

Welcome to Real Life!
You have entered the bedroom.
/time
It is 06:30AM, August 31,1999.
It begins to rain.
(alarm clock is sounding)
You can't reach that from here.
/attack
Your target is too far away, get closer!
You punch an alarm clock for 12 points of damage.
You have slain an alarm clock!
You are encumbered. (kicks off sheets)
(makes way to bathroom)
A chair hits your toe for 44 points of damage.
You are stunned.
/attack
You cannot attack while stunned.
You throw a chair into the hall.
A chair died.
(makes way to kitchen)
(opens fridge and sees leftover turkey)
/con
It is futile to consider the dead...
(smells bad)
You may not loot this corpse at this time.
You are hungry.
You are thirsty.
(forgets breakfast, begins to iron shirt)
You are burned.
An iron burns you for 3 points of damage.
(irons shirt, then realizes it doesnt match pants)
You may not equip this item.
These items did not combine in these quantities to produce anything. (you leave for work)
ZONING...PLEASE WAIT...
You are slammed by an intense gust of wind.
(you finally arrive late to work)
/con
A co-worker regards you dubiously, looks like a reasonably safe opponent.
/con
A boss scowls at you ready to attack. What would you like your tombstone to say.
A boss says "Why are you always late?"
/tell boss "Why are you always an ass?"
(target boss)
/gesture
You make a rude gesture at a boss.
A boss says "I'll teach you to interfere with me!"
A boss says "It's employees like you that have ruined your job! You'll not ruin mine!!"
A boss says "You're fired!"
Your faction standing with Friends, Family, Coworkers just got worse.
You lose experience. You have lost a level! You are now level 19.
LOADING. PLEASE WAIT...