10K PP Giveaway Contest #4 - Exploration and Journeys

[Kuron]

There I was on P99 at 7am, against all better judgment I had to just go back to sleep! I had the urge to play and get an early start, but it wasn't until I had fully logged in and entered the world that I realized I had absolutely no goal in being on so early.

I was in the Qeynos area, and so I figured “why the hell not” and headed over to Hadden. If nothing else I'd figure out something to do while I waited. I took a peek over the final hill and noticed someone sitting at the camp already. “Oh well.” I said. But now what was I going to do? I stood there for a minute and considered my options. Somehow I decided that I should at least get a timer on Hadden before I leave or log off. I sent the wizard camping him a tell.

“Been at it long?” I asked, and got no reply. Obviously AFK, and with such a long spawn time who on this or any other planet can blame him?! I started to leave, but that’s when I saw it. No, not Hadden - A rowboat! My sleep-deprived brain saw this simple, nostalgic object as a beacon of everything I should be doing at this early hour. I jumped in, took the helm, and began tooling around the river in front of Axe-man’s hut. I figured “Surely my antics will cause the Wizard to come back and have a good chuckle!” (please remember I was still not even half awake).

Unfortunately, my Tony Hawk’s Pro Boater display was not enough to bring the man at his keyboard back from the dead. I gave up and decided to put a few items in the bank while I waited. Just before I abandoned my boat I had another “fun” idea. Mr. Wizard was sitting very close to the water’s edge, and so of course it only made perfect comedic sense to me that I should park the boat directly on top of him. A vicious giggle and a quick screenshot later I was heading for Qeynos bank, hoping to get an amused tell from him en route.

Nothing. No tells. This guy was hardcore asleep, or so I thought. I returned from the bank wanting to see my mischief one last time before I logged out only to discover that something was different at the scene of the crime. The man had come back from being AFK at least once, and was now sitting IN the boat I had parked on top of him. I sent him another tell, but got no reply. Tired and bored, I supposed this would be the end of my antics for the day and proceeded to log out. But then at 5 seconds left my brain gurgled forth a heinously good prank.

I canceled the camp-out and engaged hide/sneak. At this point, I was acting purely on divine pranker’s instinct. I walked my invisible self quietly over to the boat with the unsuspecting Wizard sitting inside and took the helm. Oh wouldn’t this be a riot!? The wizard would come back to his keyboard only to see he was now many miles upriver! He would return to find me sitting at his camp at which point I would “pretend” to be stealing it from him, but would in actuality reveal the genius of my scheme, return it to him promptly and together we’d have a great laugh! Oh if I’d only known what was about to truly happen.

The unlikely boat with my unknowing passenger skimmed swiftly along the water’s surface. My god this plan was brilliant! I could barely contain my wild chortles. I hit F9 a few times and zoomed out to get a really good screenshot. A prank this good NEEDED to be documented. Unfortunately, to get the right angle for a shot I needed to neglect my steady control of the proud vessel. As my camera shutters clicked and the snickering got louder.... the boat undesirably swerved and touched the shore on the opposite side. This was when the laughing stopped.

See, there’s this caster that stands over there next to a fire. I didn’t know this ahead of time, but this caster really really hates my unwitting Wizard passenger. Maybe he lost a lot of money to him in poker, maybe he slept with his wife. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. All I know is he can nuke any wizard he hates REALLY hard. The laughing was long gone by now. I watched helplessly as the Wizard’s health dropped well below 35%. I mashed buttons wildly, as if in desperation that I’d come across some magical “stop the horror” key combination by chance. No such chance. The last thing I saw was the wizard hit around 12% and then go linkdead.

My mind sank in dread. I had just practically murdered someone AND stolen their camp without even a fraction of intent to do either! I assumed he had LD’d out to avoid being killed, but I had no idea exactly how that worked or if he had succeeded. I couldn’t figure out what to do at all. Do I leave? Do I pretend it hadn’t happened? I was still invis, had he seen what occurred? My panic was akin to that of a heaving pervert watching Chris Hansen slowly emerge from behind a curtain. Helpless, hopeless and inescapably caught in a horrible crime!

I decided to do the right thing, of course. I immediately began contacting every Cleric and Druid I could find offering high prices to get him a port back and a 90% rez. I also ran over and sat down at his camp to keep others from stealing it. I had to make things up to this guy somehow because I felt horrible. He was gone a while, almost ten minutes, though it seemed an eternity to me at the time. Eventually, the wizard came walking over the hill towards me, still around 12%. He approached and said “That was neat.”

Oh shit. This was the end. He knew! Now he’s going to chew me out, report me, blacklist me to everyone he knows! In desperate hope, I explained my whole case to him. I apologized and told him I was only holding his camp, that I had rezzers on the way just in case but was so happy that he hadn’t died. He listened, and didn’t say much of anything. One word answers. “Okay.” and “Yea.” and so on. Judging by the way he was typing, I guessed this guy was PISSED. He didn't need a rez or a port, so I just walked off and returned his camp.

I felt so bad as I trekked over the Karanas back to the Druid Ring. About 15 minutes goes by as I stood in silence waiting for a druid to show up at the ring. Suddenly I receive a tell from the wizard. Was it my comeuppance? Was he beginning his hate rant of ultimate revenge? No. It was a question from the Wizard: “I'm confused. What exactly did you do to me anyway?”. I sighed and typed out the whole story (pretty much what I’ve told you here) making sure to explain the harmless nature of my attempted prank and to remind him that I'd had rezzers and porters lined up if needed. A long pause came after that. I braced for impact, but his response was unexpected.

“Woah. You can control the boats? That’s totally cool!”

-_-

He'd had no idea I was even there! He hadn't seen me and assumed the boat had just “drifted” on it's own. When he proclaimed “That was neat.” there was no sarcasm, he had been referring to the boat “drifting”. His relative silence was borne of confusion for the situation as he had no idea I was even involved!

I expressed again how happy I was that he had forcibly LD’d in time and hadn’t died and he told me something surprising - he hadn’t LD’d at all. The angry caster across the river was an Enchanter and had charmed him right before death. My panicked button mashing had apparently moved the boat JUST far away enough that when charm broke he somehow did not re-aggro. We talked and laughed a little more about it, and eventually I logged off and went back to bed.

I clearly needed more sleep.