Let me help with your addiction and dependence on p99.

[magnetaress]

1) read the Torah
2) Watch some M&M vids
3) Design a pen and paper campaign
4) voulenteer
5) join a softball team
6) go bowling
7) draw an elf city
8) color in a book
9) learn how to sing a song
10) water a plant in a garden
11) make someone's favorite food for them
12) work a side job and donate to charity
13) buy an Xbox series x or one and devote yourself to skyrim
14) open quake 3 radiant and make a level
15) call your guild a bunch of names in game and on discord, /guildremove and leave their discord channel and block your batphones
...)... and more...

These steps will prepare you for the next step in your journey and free you from a toxic dependence on a community that needs to move on.