Embarrassing RL story time

[nostalgiaquest]

In seventh grade I played bass guitar in the school jazz band. During a night rehearsal, we were mid song and I felt a fart coming on. Only it wasn’t a fart…and I shit my pants right in the middle of the song. Luckily I was in the back of the band, so without saying anything I immediately left class to the bathroom. Ended up throwing my underwear in the trash and coming back in commando. Teacher was confused and I just said “sorry bathroom emergency” and played it off as best I could. Thank Christ the rest of the band didn’t figure it out. My fragile teen psyche would not have been able to handle that ridicule.

Later in high school during my experimental drug phase, I thought it would be funny to take 10 corcidin cold and cough pills in the middle of my physics class. If you don’t know, corcidin contains dextromethorphan, which is a powerful ass disassociative. I quickly realized I was way out of my league and tried to go home. But since I wasn’t 18 yet, I couldn’t just leave, so I told the school nurse I had food poisoning and needed to go home. Problem was both my parents weren’t home, so they couldn’t get them to pick me up. They ended up calling a random neighbor I barely knew who was on my emergency card. She took about an hour to show up. Meanwhile I am tripping hard in the school nurses office, sure that they’re going to figure out I’m just an idiot on drugs. Luckily the neighbor showed up and awkwardly drove me home and everything was ok. My drugs friends at school all thought I died or something. Don’t fuck with cough medicine kiddos.

When I was in college I was in a welding class. Finished up a good looking oxy acetylene tent weld and went to pick up the red hot metal with a pair of toggle pliers, but I didn’t check what toggle setting they were on, which was an open one. So when I lifted the piece, it rolled right out of the pliers and into my lap. Red hot metal on my crouch. Luckily I was wearing some bad ass thick jean shorts, which were of course in style at the time. Burned a decent sized hole right through the jeans, but left mr winky unharmed. I stood up and immediately left class and went home. Luckily you can just do that in college.

I played guitar in a metal band in Seattle for a few years. At one of our bigger shows, we were opening up for Death Angel, I went to jump up on a stage riser to look super bad ass for a solo. Only I got tangled up in my patch cable while jumping, landed on just the corner of the riser, and fell backwards almost creaming the bass player. The rest of the show was good, and we ended up getting hammered with Death Angle after the show, but I Never lived that one down in the practice room.

When I used to work as civilian nuclear engineer for the Navy, I pretty much singled handedly caused a problem that delayed maintenance on an aircraft carrier for a full 2 days, which was a whole big fucking deal. Can’t get too much into the details, but you know you done fucked up when you have the captain of aircraft carrier and a shipyard commander calling your personal cell phone to yell at you.. That was a fun week… but I didn’t get fired haha

More recently, breaking my foot skateboarding as a 35 year old has been pretty embarrassing. Coworkers still giving me a whole ration of shit for that. Fuckers be calling me Tony Hawk and shit. Lol.

TLDR I seem to do dumb shit on a fairly consistent basis ��

Tell us some of your embarrassing cokehead stories lulz!