Advice on life

[magnetaress]

There's truth to the forgiveness aspect. It has more to do with not blaming him, and taking ownership of your own flaws, not saying "my life sux because my dad X". And not focusing so much hateful attention or energy on him.

I didn't in person in face really forgive my dad, I spent a day with him and my sister at the mall and told him I didn't hate him. But that's really like the last time I deeply spoke with him. But I put a lot of personal intention into it. I prayed and meditated on forgiveness. I still don't think its safe for me to go near him and talk to him. But I am free, and in my mind he is forgiven. Some. I guess it's not an all at once process either.

In my youth I used that all as an excuse to torment him, which made me a worse person. Hurt me, more than it hurt him.

But it's not his fault my present condition is terrible. At all. I have had many years, and many chances to change that without him interfering.