MMmmm Wings.

[TheBlackSheep]

Here thou art...

(Note: I apologize for the length of this one, it's a bit complicated and is somewhat of a mad science project, seasoned to preferred taste, which tends to vary per person, so I'll just tell you how I prefer it)

First and foremost. You'll need a big crock pot.

- Start out with about 1.5lbs of ground sirloin. Not chuck.
- Toss in 3 hot dogs, preferably Nathans, and 2 hot links.
- A dip of butter in the crock pot on a 4 hour cook.
- Dump in the meat/dogs and add your favorite seasoning salt. I prefer Johnny's or Cavenders.
- Add in 2 (a tad bit on the small side) chopped white onions and mix it all up and cover.

Keep checking and stirring. You're basically browning the meat and caramelizing the onions. It's imperative to caramelize the onions with the meat. It tastes better. Once it's all cooked, DON'T DRAIN IT. Most people drain it. They're actually killing the flavor.

- Add in about a cup of water and stir.

This is where it all comes together.

- Add a diced tomato, one diced green pepper, and one diced red pepper, two cans of Rotel Chili Fixins, and two cans of Ranch-style Beans.

Of course feel free to adjust these portions to the size of the crock pot, and your preference. Again, don't drain the cans before adding. The juice from all this stuff is what makes up your sauce when mixed with the fat from the meat. Stir till it all looks nice and pretty. Now come the spices and where it gets tricky...

- Paprika
- Cayenne pepper
- Black pepper
- Seasoning salt
- Oregano
- Pinch of garlic salt (or two)
- 3 bay leaves
- Parsley flakes
- Chili powder
- Pinch of cumin
- Two big spoon fulls of brown sugar (yes, I'm serious).

Generally what I do is sprinkle enough of each ingredient (unless it's a pinch) to cover the top, and then stir it all up and let it simmer, checking periodically. This next part is important and will make or break the batch.

Keep the seasoning salt and brown sugar handy, with a bottle of Tabasco (or hot sauce) on stand-by. While simmering (covered), keep stirring every 15 minutes or so. Steam and bubbles along the side of the pot are good. You want to get it hot. At this point it should start to actually resemble chili, and get soupy. Soupy is good as the water will evaporate as it cooks, so you may have to add a little more (but not too much!) over time. Also, the high heat will start to cook everything, bringing out a lot of the flavor. This is when you start to become a mad scientist.

The end result that you're looking for is a SPICY SWEET taste. So as it cooks and you're stirring, give it a taste every time, and add either a slash of Tabasco to spice it up, a spoonful of brown sugar to sweeten, or a dash of seasoning salt to make it less bland. After you do any of those, be sure to stir it good before tasting it again. Once you do, and you get the taste to your liking, crank the heat down to about medium, or 6 hours, and continue to let it simmer, stirring occasionally, and occasionally tasting and keeping it how you like it with the appropriate seasoning. The final product should look just like the picture I posted.

Once the hot dogs are nice and juicy, the onions are good and caramelized, and you're satisfied with it's taste and that it's good and done, drop a dash of Fritos and cheddar cheese on the bottom of a bowl, scoop out a hefty spoonful, then top it with a spoon full of juice (from the top of the pot), then a sprinkling of cheddar cheese on top.

Viola.

Azorath