Just started back and already dont know how to feel

[A1rh3ad]

When green started I got my ogre warrior to level 10 and managed to grind lizardmen for enough pp to buy a full set of banded armor and grabbed some some fine steel 1h weapons from a player killing ogre guards. I took a long break to focus on irl stuff. Recently I got the itch to come back and coming back my wife and I grinded on dervs, deathfists and crocs when we could find a group and 2 manned spiders and scarabs in Ro. The typical things you do. This time was different though. I felt like I've done all this. Walking through the tunnel I was watching the auction channel and it made me depressed. I will never afford this stuff. It just beat down my sense of self worth. Got in a group with some players who were not twinked to the point of being invincible but were dealing twice my damage and took hits like a truck. This made me feel even more depressed. While I am excited to get to level 13 for duel wield grinding felt like a chore. Nothing was interesting. I hope I'm not burned out on this game. I'm not sure what to do. I want to play but everything makes me sigh and not want to. I just watch the time fly by thinking about how I have to work tomorrow, or how there are things in irl I should be doing. The game feels like a daunting hopeless endeavor. Idk, I think there isnt really an answer for this I just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.