Antipsychotics vs Benzodiazipines or Tranquilizers

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by JurisDictum [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Mare, you should probably start by just looking into lexapro. You seem to need something more on the chill anxiety-reducing side. Unless its just the forum persona overcompensating for a shy person IRL.

Tranquilizers are unpleasant and used to calm down people having psychotic breaks or severe mood swings. People never really take these recreationally. Whenever you see animals shot with these darts...it doesnt look like they are having a great time.

But it sure calms mr. Tiger down when we need to bring it to its new prison (the zoo).

If you need them you need them. But they bring you down. They don't get you high.

I've been mr tiger and been tranquilized. During a psychotic break. Thats probably why I reached for that hammer. But yeah self administration is dangerous and not for fun. A little voice tells me I am just looking for a "safe way out " which is probably a giant red flag and why no doctor will ever start me there.

Hydroxazine was helping a little tiny bit when I wasn't bouncing off the walls, but I needed to take more than prescribed And an overdose didn't even slow my heartrate when I was having a recent episode, attack. It only lasted a few hrs but it was enough for me to get the accompanying adrenal fatigue and to have to lock my doors and OD. Just the one time. I stopped waiting and did the three times a day which was probably better for the anxiety build up. That still doesn't really help when triggered. Or when I am really just not able to cope because of pain. Fatigue. Or a situation outside of my control.

I think you're right about a low dose of something mild and slow release maybe, and not an immediate tranq. The thing though is I know I can probably also just put myself to bed and deal with a severe episode without hospitalization too, if I could just incapacitate myself for a few hours and sleep it off. Not to mention reducing the trauma to myself and everyone, and the cost to the VA for an ER visit. There's quite a bit of build up and time to cope, do CBT. Dunk my head in cold water. Ground. Play soothing music. Do child's pose. I really do everything I can to stave it off and I still end up self harming pretty often I know after a few tries off calming without drugs if that's going to do it.

Even with acceptance and commitment I end up becoming obsessively locked. Sometimes I think I am just reinforcing the emotion or trauma underlying the emotions over and over by fighting back emotionally and rationally and trying to jedi mind trick my way through nature's hardcoded biologic nuclear button.

A lot of times when I am doing well CBT and spirituality and a little yoga is all I need. I do have stable moments or moments where I can redirect my anxiety towards something constructive. Which probably leads my doctors to think I'm bipolar. It's unpredictable though. Has more to do with childhood trauma and triggers around my dad's behavior or the specific shit I went through, which I'm not keen on rehashing.

Nov-Febuary was always hell because my dad could use the holidays to hold us hostage with family obligations and would inevitably lash back out at my mom and his mental illness was definitely seasonally triggered. Not to mention as an adult my hospitalizations and suicide attempts generally correspond with the end of January. I don't think my shrink where, are tracking with that.

Totally not looking for a way to get "high" or "feel good". I need a way to put the breaks on when someone's hair in the drain is making me stay awake for several days looking for ways to kill them.