The fear of death.

[Jauna]

Dont bust a nut, there is some EQ stuff after the surface thoughts you will undoubtedly have from reading the first part after this.

I thought about killing myself.
Not out of depression, or anger or anything but what it would be like after the lights go out, after your thoughts stop, after your consciousness ends, after realizing that there is no afterlife, just artists renditions of what they hope the afterlife is like because that fear of nothingness after we die is what drives us all to keep going, to keep surviving. And the calming fact that you are just a lump of flesh who is not even a bump in the road because there were billions upon trillions of humans before you, and possibly after you. The human spirit to just not die is a weird and powerful thing.

With that said, sometimes you should just fucking die and find a fucking rez or eat the exp loss. Fuck you for training hags through MR, fuck you for training all of Mistmoore castle through all the areas, or bringing dvinn through at least 2 camps and the exit to CB or fuck you for bringing the basement in karnors throughout the entire zone because your fungi fuck self PL fuckmonk or bard who has zero defense/offense skills but sure as fuck has percussion and brass instruments maxed who does not know if you go too far from your pulling target the target finds another path (and not just native to karnors), or bringing most of the fucking crypt as you indiana jones through the door as the rogue already booked it past bugs or the cunts in ToV trying to make it through the west exit. Oh and that asshole who constantly thinks "lol we have a rogue and no harmony lets try castle in CoM and even if we did have harmony im going to attack mobs in there randomly without knowing the pathing" and the people who keep the train alive by sticking their head out for whatever reason

That or WC cap out and /exit on landing because whos ganna know.