Do Android Dream of Electric Google Updates

[Muggens]

I dislike mobile phones. I didnt get one myself untill I was 17, this was back in y2k.
It was a Nokia and I had no problem wielding it with sufficiency.
Now, years later Ive had a few of these "smart" phones, making my life better and at the same time miserable.
I only bought one of these myself, an Iphone 3 I believe it was. Everyone here's getting new phones come new years,
so I just grab whatever they wanna hand me down. My town is flowing in discarded electronics, not in a burning field but in the drawers, shelves, hands of kids and so on.
I was happy with my Sony phone, but managed to smash it during my sleep, just awoke one day to a cracked screen.
Now I got a Samsung piece of shit.
Not that long ago there was a Google update of some sort, automatic, I have no control of these devices...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBmMzabdEKQ
Android is Google, I didnt know this untill recently, fuckssake...
This Update scrambled all the text formatting in everything Google! I gotta zoom and zip and angle to get it to display properly now!
Most apps and many mobile website dont allow me to zoom and zip around... Gaah!
I cannot read anything on my phone anymore besides the p99 boards...
I cannot seem to find the right combination of magic words to search for this topic on Google either.
Just wanna throw in there that I hate Google btw, surveillance app ftw.
Can anyone help me? Is my phone obsolete with the new Update, did they shut my phone down?
Can I revert back to an old version? What can I do?
Or do I have to scrounge up another mobile, just to get to read Quara on the jon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoY2gOix0_s