If you had a million platinum.......

[Valrok]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

lol'd

to answer OP:

I would set up a War Chest for the Leatherfoot Raiders. Similar to how Pablo Escobar created payouts for killing cops in Medellin, allies of Rivervale would be able to claim cold cash in exchange for evidence that they had destroyed enemies of Rivervale. I would pay people to train Mayor Gubbin onto people who were hunting my beloved Deputies. Furthermore, I would hire entire guilds to go and raid select cities and subjugate their people in the name of Rivervale.

I would also create a Rivervale Scholarship Council to review the merit of young hobbits who are going out and seeking to make Norrath Great Again.

However, I am not without Mercy. The War Chest would also give alms to the repentant ogres, dark elves, trolls, and other evil scum who give up their hobbit-hunting ways and dedicate themselves to the defense of Rivervale. They would prove their intent through an indentured service cleansing the halls of Runnyeye Citadel and protecting young halflings from the dread Mooto.

In conclusion, Rivervale will extend it's Democratic Government across the lands of Antonica with brutal opposition to its evil foes. No more will our Squad Rings be taken from dead halfling hands. We will be vindicated. We are righteous. We are halfling!

So slavery...slavery is the tl;dr .... jk, this is one of the best responses